Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking
by Fyuro
Summary: Amity Spicket may only be a fairy the size of your thumb, but she has enough heart, zeal and courage to fill ten grown men. When she's on death row for being a Failed Conscience to mankind, Amity is given two choices. Die or become Envy's Conscience. Powerless in a strange world where magic doesn't exist, can Amity dare hope to change things for the better? T for safety-Brotherhod
1. Prologue

Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking

by: Fyuro

Prologue

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"Amity Spicket, how do you plead?"

The young girl flinched, feeling hundreds of eyes staring down at her from the circular, marble benches that surrounded her. She stared down at her feet, feeling horribly small and helpless standing on her tiny, round platform. Handcuffs dug painfully tight into her skin and her bare feet felt like icicles on the stages cold, stone surface.

She looked up. In front of her was the Council's stand. There were three, long backed, throne-like chairs, each one made of gold with red velvet cushions; and for each chair sat one council member. On the left, there was Councilman Jinkle Squimit; a kindly, little, old round fairy, with balding white hair and sideburns that nearly hid his pointed ears. He was giving Amity an expression of pity, and a small measure of guilt. Jinkle Squimit was indeed a kind man, but a bit cowardly. Amity knew he would not speak for her in fear of the punishments that might face him as well.

On the right chair sat Sidius Ebony; a tall and lanky man with crooked nose that took up most of his face. He had black hair that messily reached his shoulders, his one of the tips of his pointed ears looked as though it had been bitten off and the other had a single, dragon earring that wrapped around his ear. He ha a nasty, hateful expression in his dark eyes. Amity knew he wouldn't be of any help to her, he was the one who wanted her on trial the most.

Then, seated in the middle, was Wendell Ulden. The oldest and wisest of all three council members. He was bony and hunched over slightly. He wore his long, silver beard in a braid decorated with green and blue beads. He has a leathery, wrinkled face. His eyes remained closed, for he had been blind ever since she had been born, and probably many years before that. She could not read the emotions on his face.

Amity looked back down at her feet; her short, spiky, electric blue hair falling into her equally blue eyes. "Guilty on all charges, your honor." she managed to whisper, her voice feeling rough and hoarse in her throat.

Wendell sighed heavily through the nose. "Very well then Amity..." he arose from his seat on the council, his old bones creaked and popped as he slowly stood to his feet. The man gave a small wheeze, leaning on his wooden staff. There were murmurs in the crowd.

_"What's going on?"_

_"What will happen to Amity?"_

_"Is her hair naturally that color?"_

_'Of course it's naturally this color.'_ the teen thought with a small frown. _'It's brown that's the unnatural color, not blue. I mean, no fairy alive _really _has brown-'_

"Miss Spicket," Wendell spoke; his soft voice carried surprisingly well throughout the dome shaped room and effectively snapping her out of her thoughts. "you come before us as a Failed Conscience to mankind. You have yet to change a single soul enough to give them a conscience of their own, and, in many cases, ended up doing more harm than good."

"I'll say!" Sidius barked angrily, slamming his fist down on his chair's armrest. "This girl has done nothing but cause trouble for us since she was born! Every human companion she has been given either dies, or goes into a deeper, darker life of crime! They become even greater, filthier messes than they were to begin with! It is a Consciences duty to help their partners discover their own conscious, to help them find better ways of living and guide them to the right path! It has been the duty of we fairies for generations!"

"Yes, Miss Spicket has made many blunders in her short two years of service." wheezed Wendell

"Twenty-seven to be exact." Sidius sneered, looking down at the teen as if she were a slug in his path. "I have an alphabetized list, if you'd like to see, Wendell."

"That will not be necessary, Sidius."

The large nosed fairy snorted and sank deeper into his chair.

Wendell cleared his throat and began again. "As you know Miss Spicket, being harmful to mankind instead of helpful is a serious crime, especially in our world."

Amity nodded, her throat to dry to speak.

"The penalty for committing such a crime, is death."

At that moment, Amity felt as though time slowed down. A sickening feeling twisted in her gut and she nearly fell to her knees, the world seemed to shatter before her eyes. _'DEATH! Isn't that a little harsh...? Okay, I admit that made many mistakes, but isn't the death sentence a little extreme?'_

Sidius grinned down at her, and Amity nearly felt like bursting into tears.

"However, I feel as though someone as young and zealous as yourself, is deserving of a second chance."

"What!" Sidius roared, standing to his feet. "Wendell, you cannot be serious! After all she has done? The next poor fool she is paired with will be led straight off a cliff!"

The older man smiled indulgently, as if he knew somthing Sidius did not. He did not turn to the angry fairy when he spoke. "Everyone deserves a second chance."

"She has already received a second chance! And third and fourth ones as well!"

"What do you think Jinkle?" Wendell asked, tilting his head toward the round man.

"Me-me?" the pudgy fairy squeaked. "W-well, um... that is to say..."

"Out with it man!" Sidius spat, giving his fellow council member a deadly glare.

"I-I believe that s-s-she could use j-just one more ch-chance..."

At those words, Amity's heart soared-

Wendell nodded in agreement. "There will be conditions, however."

- then hit rock bottom again.

"Miss Spicket, you must except our terms if you wish for a second chance." Wendell cleared his throat loudly again.

"Rule Number One: You must change the being I choose for the better within the time span of two years.

Rule Number Two: You cannot leave your charge unattended for any length of time. Where he or she goes, you go

Rule Number Three: You will be stripped of your wings, and your full-size status. You will start off as a Weak-Conscience

Rule Number Four: If your charge does not Improve within the allotted time, you must come back and face all charges for your crimes.

and lastly Rule Number Five: If your target dies in any way, shape or form before he sincerely changes for the better, you still must come back and face all the charges for your crimes.

If you manage to somehow change your partner for the better, you will be cleared off all charges, your wings will be reinstated, and you will receive all your previous Strong-Conscience abilities and privileges."

Amity grinned and nodded vigorously. "I absolutely accept all terms! Um, just one question, sir... Who's conscious will I become?"

The old fairy smiled again, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

"His name is Envy."

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Well, what do you think?

To be continued...

_Authors Note:_

_Gah! I've reposted this chapter twice now! I kept noticing mistakes I made when re-reading __**after**__ I'd already posted the chapter. Ugh._

_Next time, I'll make sure to read things thourghly __**before **__I post things at 12 AM ^^'_


	2. Chapter 01

_Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking_

by:Fyuro

Chapter 01

Exiting What You Know and Entering What You Do Not

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"_Look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else" _

- Tom Stoppard

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Amity watched as the sun peaked over the mountains, filling the sky with many soft shades of purples, pinks, yellows and oranges. She could see the entire valley from the hill where she stood. Lush, green grass gently swayed in the breeze, the different kinds of flowers dotted the green mass with their varying colors. Amity could see little white, dome country houses poking up out of the sea of grass, and the crystal clear river that cut through the valley. Looking out even farther, she could see her hometown settled near the base of the mountain. As she stood there, she tried hard to memorize every rock, every little detail of her home world. She drank in as much of the warmth and beauty of it that she could, hoping, _praying_ that one day she maybe, _just _maybe, might be able to come back to it all; and that while she was away, she would never forget it.

"Quit your gawking and hurry up! I have no intention of wasting anymore time!"

Like a hammer through a glass window, Sidius' screech shattered her tranquil moment into a thousand pieces.

Amity groaned. _'Why? __**Why**__? Of all the fairies in the known worlds, why does __**he**_ _have to take me to the portal?' _"Coming." she grumbled, turning around, slouching slightly and trudging begrudgingly over to him. "Why are we out here anyway? Aren't the dimension portals are back in town?"

Sidius scoffed and started walking, Amity purposely trailing slowly behind him as some sort of childish form of revenge. "Yes they are, but this world is a bit... _different _than the dimensions you are used to. They follow a strict science, one that leaves no room for our magic. Therefore, must use a _unique_ kind of portal." he explained as if he expected her to know all of this by now.

Her eye nearly doubled in size. "Wait... does that mean I won't have my powers?" she gasped, now stumbling to keep up with his large, quick strides.

"Ah, now that is something we don't know. No fairy has been to that world in... let's see... over five hundred hundred years? It's very possible your powers could be null and void once you cross over to the other side."

"But-but how am I supposed to survive? You already removed my wings..."

"Too bad for you, you'll just have to figure it out on your own."

They fell into a long period of silence after that. The only sounds to be heard were their footsteps, and the slight fluttering of Sidius' clear, dragon-like wings in the wind. Fairies usually didn't walk around with their wings out, it was considered foolish to do so since you never knew when someone might accidentally slam them in a door, or something to that nature.

Amity recalled her teacher scolding her long ago when she was a Conscience-in-training. _Fairy wings are only for practical use and are not to be flaunted about like a piece of jewelry. They are not meant to be used for your own pleasurable joy rides or __**fun**__. You use them only to complete your duties as a Conscience. Nothing more. _

She shook her head. Sidius probably has his wings out to taunt her, to make her feel bad about not having rights to her own anymore. Amity sighed sadly, she felt so naked without them. So vulnerable and incredibly _weak_. The blunette folded her arms behind her head and looked up. A couple birds lazily glided along above her in the cloudless blue sky, letting the wind carry them where they wanted to go. A small pang of sadness, and perhaps longing, went through her, though she didn't understand why. _'I wonder what this new world is going to be like... How will I survive if I don't have any of my powers?'_

She shook those unpleasant thoughts out of her mind and managed to grin. _'Oh well, no use fretting over that bridge until I get there!' _"Hey, Sidius, what is this Envy person like?"

"That's classified information." was his curt reply.

The grin fell clean of her face and was replaced with a frown; her brows furrowing in confusion. Only Sidius had the ability to burst her happy bubble in under four words. "Classified? But... shouldn't I know, since I'm going to become his new Conscious? It would be very helpful if I knew a little-"

"No." Amity opened her mouth to argue, but Sidius interrupted before she could. "We're here."

Just as he said it, Amity stepped on something hard. Look down, she saw she was standing on the edge of a large, flat and perfectly circular stone. The stone had an seven pointed star carved into it's surface, a circle at the tip of each of the stars points, and a different symbol that Amity did not recognize in each circle. There was another circle in the very center of the star with the symbol of the sun to it's right and the symbol of the moon to it's left. Carved into the circle in the center of the star was an eye large enough for Amity to stand on.

"This," Sidius said, walking into the center of the circle and stretching his arms to his sides. "is a Transmutation circle. In the world you will be traveling too, they use these circles to preform something called Alchemy. Alchemy is based on the concept of equivalent exchange, which follows the scientific principle of the conservation of matter and the laws of nature. In order to create one type of matter, it is necessary to supply an equal amount of the same matter... For example, it is impossible to turn water into a loaf of bread, since they are not of the same matter. You also cannot make something out of nothing. Alchemy is a science, not magic. Any questions?" he didn't give her chance to answer. "Good. Now then, Gold, Silver, Copper, Iron, Tin, Mercury, and Lead." he named, pointing to each strange symbol in the seven circles. "Each one of these symbols represents a planetary metal, and are associated with the seven classical planets, and the seven heavenly virtues as well as the seven deadly sins: Humility, Chastity, Charity, Kindness, Diligence, Temperance, and Patience as well as Pride, Lust, Greed, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony and Wrath. The Sun represents Male and the Moon represents Female; the eye in the center represents All or Truth, whereas the seven metals and the sun and moon represent One. In other words, this circle represents the spiritual components of your average human being." Sidius looked at her expectantly. "Understand?"

Amity blinked.

...

...

...

"...You lost me after 'This is a'."

He slapped a hand over his face and sighed heavily. "Just... just forget it." he muttered, running his hand down his face. "It is my own fault for over-estimating your intelligence level."

"Hey!"

"Now then, I suppose I should provide you with the necessary equipment for your journey. Lets' see... ah, yes, here we are." Sidius pulled out a small stack of clothes out of a brown satchel bag he had been carrying and handed them over to her. "These were highly fashionable in Xerxes, so I believe it will suit your needs just fine. I can't imagine fashion would have changed that much in only 500 years." he said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"How do you know so much about-" Amity began before Sidius interrupted her _again._

"Oh yes, and Wendell instructed me to give you this, it is supposedly a tracking device of sorts, too make sure you stay with your partner and don't go wandering off. It also doubles as a device to locate your partner." he said, taking a necklace out of his bag and placing it on top the clothes she was already holding in her arms. He narrowed his eyes at her. "Do try not to lose it."

She nodded several times; her wild, spiky hair bouncing up and down. "I'll try not to." she assured him.

He snorted, obviously not convinced."There. What I have given you is all you will need and all you will be receiving. Now go stand in the center of the circle while I begin the transmutation."

"Transmutation?" she repeated slowly once she was in the center of the circle, standing directly on the eye.

"I explained it to you once before." he said, now standing outside the circle. "Transmutation circles are used to preform alchemy."

"Okay... so why are you preforming alchemy now?"

"I am going to preform human transmutation on you. Once I've preformed the transmutation, I will pay the toll to open the gate, and you will be taken to the Portal of Truth. From there, you will be sent to the new world. Where you will show up in this world, however, is unknown." Sidius explained absentmindedly, crouching down and hovering his hands above the stone.

Amity frowned slightly, tilting her head to the left. "... You said you had to pay a toll? What kind of toll will you have to pay to open the Gate?"

"Usually, when one opens the Portal of Truth, you lose a piece of yourself; like an arm, leg, or something of a similar nature. But, I have something else in mind for this particular transmutation." Sidius reached into his satchel bag once more and pulled out a small, clear vial filled nearly to the brim with a shimmering silver liquid. He held it up for her to see. "You are aware of what this is, aren't you?"

She felt her throat go dry again. "My... my wings."

Striping a fairy of his or her wings was a difficult and painful process, only to be used on criminals in the most serious and severe of crimes. In the first step of the process, the nerve endings that connect the fairies wings to the back must be severed. Then, a special potion is made by one of cities official herbalists; the potion is poured onto the fairies back and melts the wings into a liquid. From there, the wings gathered up in a vial and stored in a vault. They aren't taken out again until either the fairy that lost their wings served their sentience in prison, or dies.

Amity hugged herself and shuttered, remembering how painful it was when they removed her wings. She had passed out from the pain before they finished severing the first wing.

"I believe that they will do nicely for a sacrifice." Sidius said. Amity couldn't help but agree. To fairies, wings were just as a part of them as an arm or leg was to a human. Using her wings to open the portal would most likely be affective.

_'But still...'_

A small, humorless chuckle escaped Sidius' lips. "It's rather ironic, isn't it?" he asked. "Wings are a symbol of freedom, yet your giving yours up for another chance _for_ freedom." seeing Amity's doleful face, he scoffed. "Don't look at me that way you silly girl. You'll get a new pair if-and I daresay it is a very _large_ if-you manage to complete your mission." he set the vial onto the circle. Amity's eyes were glued onto it, watching the contents swirl and wiggle inside its container; as though it knew what was about to happen to it.

"Any last parting words my dear?" Sidius asked, his hands mere centimeters above the stone.

Amity thought for a moment before answering. "Would you thank Wendell for me? I never got the chance to properly express my gratitude towards him."

He made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a scoff. His hands touched the surface of the circle. The runes engraved into it lit up with a pale blue light.

Then the light turned red.

And all hell broke loose.

A giant eye opened up beneath her. Hundreds of small black hands attached to tendrils emerged from the ground, greedily grabbing at her, taking her away piece by piece. Tearing at flesh, blood and bone. She squirmed, and tried to scream, but no sound made it out her throat. Her eyes landed on Sidius. He was just standing there, a dark look on his face, and... sadness maybe? He turned and walked away...

His back faded from her vision.

And everything

went

**Black.**

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_White._

Amity blinked several times, but the white didn't go away. She slowly came too, her vision clearing, and realized she hadn't been sleeping at all. She was standing...

In a white void.

She rubbed her the back of her neck. _'Just...just where am I?' _Amity noticed the items Sidius had given her previously on the 'floor' of the white void, and hastily picked them up, shoving them her under her arm. _'Wouldn't want to lose my stuff after only a few minutes.' _she mentally chuckled. When she looked back up, Amity let out a startle cry and jumped backward.

"Hello." the being that startled her said; sitting cross-legged on the 'ground'. The thing looking uncannily like her, perhaps more like an outline or white silhouette of herself; a short, lithe body, small curves, and pointed ears... the only this thing didn't have was her hair. In fact, it looked bald.

"Hello." Amity answered, unsure of what it was or it's intentions. Deciding to be polite to the stranger, she cleared her throat and held out her hand to shake. She smiled. "My name is Amity Spicket. What's your name?"

The thing grinned and she immediately retracted her hand, as though the entity might bite it off. "I'm so glad you asked! Some call the the World, others call me the Universe, or God, or Truth. I am all, I am one, and I am also _you_."

A chill went down her spine as she heard the sound of something opening behind her. Slowly, she turned around...

She was facing a large stone gate. It opened eerily to her, as if coaxing Amity to come inside so it could devour her. Amity's blood froze in her veins and her heart stopped beating. Fear chilled her down to her marrow. Time itself seemed to stop.

"It's been a while since a Conscience came through the gate... I wonder kind of trouble you'll stir up?" she heard Truth chime happily from behind her, as if completely unfazed by her fear.

A large, multi-ringed gray eye opened from inside the gate. Black hands shot out from the shadows within.

Startled out of her stupor, she screamed and stumbled backward onto her rear. The black hands grabbed her, twisting and tangling around her body; slowly dragging her towards the gate.

"Let-let go of me!" she yelled in vain, her struggling proved to be pointless against the hands.

"Isn't this what you wanted? A second chance?" Amity barely managed to turned her head towards Truth. Her breath caught in her throat...

... and her pupils shrank to the size of pinpricks.

Truth had _her wings_. Dragonfly-like, clear, yet shimmering a thousand different colors and hues; they fluttered slightly on Truth's back, like they knew they didn't belong there. Amity was only dimly aware that the gate was closing around her. Her eyes were focused on Truth. Her wings, her freedom, her life, everything she knew was all uncontrollably slipping between her fingers. She grit her teeth. So this was the price she had to pay for a second chance at freedom? This was the equivalent exchange? Amity closed her eyes tightly.

"You will learn the Truth."

The Gate closed.

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And somewhere in Amestris, a door opened.

_Authors Note:_

_Thank you LeFay and Usagi-chan123 for the reviews!_

_I used __Fullmetal Alchemist Profiles __ for the explanation Sidius gives Amity on Alchemy, as well as some Wikipedia __references for the seven planetary metals._

_I love any help I can get with my writing. All constructive __criticism__, hints and tips are appreciated :)_


	3. Chapter 02

_Authors Note:_

_Thank you LeFay Strent, Guest reviewer, and black-rose-angel for the reviews!_

_Gah! I just realized I've been using the wrong kind of Conscious throughout the entire story Dx I've been using Conscious - which is awareness of one's own existance, sensations, thoughts or surrounding, when I should have been using Conscience - the inner sense of what is right or wrong in one's conduct or motives._

_So, I went back through the previous chapters and changed the spelling. Also, I will be changing the story title to __**Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking**__._

_Now that __**that's **__taken care of, lets get on with the show!_

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Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking

by: Fyuro

Chapter 02

In Which Kittens are Evil, Sunhats are Friends, and Palmtrees Have Unknown Genders

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_"If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there." _

- George Harrison

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"A fine mess I've gotten myself into this time." Amity gasped, doubling over and panting for breath. The hot desert sun beat down on her head relentlessly and she nearly choked on the dusty air. The blunette chuckled dryly to herself and shook her sweat covered head. "You're really a piece of work, aren't you Amity?" After nearly being stepped on by a dozen passerby's, Amity discovered a very loathsome thing about being a weak Conscious.

In this world, she was the size of the average adult males thumb.

And, if that wasn't bad enough, no one could see her. She was use to not being seen, but not being seen and nearly flattened by a shoe was an entirely different story indeed.

After the Portal of Truth spat her out, Amity found herself in a large, desert town (which she later discovered was named Liore). She quickly changed out of her old Conscience clothes once she could find a private place to do so. Not that anyone could _see_ her, mind you, she just felt awkward stripping down naked in front of a bunch of people.

The clothes Sidius had given her were definitely out of style here and Amity couldn't help but wonder if the clothes he chose for her ever _were _in style. White, slightly puffy pants that reached just above her ankles. They they were so baggy, she had to tie it with a white, cloth belt. She also had a white, short sleeve open jacket that she believed was a bit to long for her, and a black tank-top undershirt. There were no shoes, but Amity didn't mind; she liked walking barefoot.

She couldn't help but wonder... Why did she have to wear clothes from this world? What was wrong with her old clothes? It's not like anyone could see her, so why did Sidius give her clothes that would help her 'fit in'? After thinking of several possibilities, the young fairy shrugged it off,_' It's probably not important anyway.'_, and started walking again; though the nagging feeling in the back of her mind didn't go away.

Putting her mind on the task at hand, she jumped up off of the busy street in one great leap, and landed on a small stores window edge. That was one thing she was glad that she didn't lose; her fairy ability to jump high. She supposed though, it wasn't magic that made her be able to jump great lengths and heights, it was just the way her own body naturally worked. Amity sat down and pulled out the necklace Sidius had given her from around her neck.

At first glance, Amity believed the necklace was just a plain compass attached to a silver chain. It was upon further inspection, however, that Amity discovered that this item was of a very different sort indeed. It was a Valderite locator.

Valderite is a purple, liquid mineral that existed in her home world. It is typically used as a kind of flu shot for Consciences to ward off strange illnesses that they might pick up on other worlds. Valderite also has a cousin mineral; Malderite. Malderite it a black, hard crystallized mineral that has no known use besides the fact that it steadily changes from it's black color to white when it get close to a concentrated source of Valderite.

The tip of the compass arrow Amity held was made of Malderite crystal.

So, if her hunch was correct, that meant whoever this Envy person was must have a concentration of Valderite on him. Amity couldn't help but grin slightly. It was brilliant! A completely non-magic way to locate your partner! She wondered, since Valderite is a mineral that can only be found on her home world, how did Envy come into possession of some? Did Sidius sneak over before she came and inject some into Envy's bloodstream? A comical image of a mouse-sized Sidius holding a needle larger than himself whilst sneaking up on a poor unsuspecting man flitted into her mind; she didn't even try to stifle the giggle that made it's way up her throat.

The compass was pointing towards a large chapel and its tip had turned dark gray. _'At least I know which direction to go in now.' _she thought happily.

"_Meow."_

The fairy nearly jumped out of her skin and whirled around. Standing on the opposite side of the window's edge was a small, black and quite underfed kitten. It blinked it's large, bulbous yellow eyes at her.

Amity put a hand over her pounding heart and sighed in relief, mentally berating herself for how silly she was being. The kitten couldn't even see her for goodness sake! And here she was being as jumpy as a new born purgle.

"_Mrrow?_"

Amity _didn't_ twitch in fear at all when she saw the kitten crouch down...

...

...

...

Neither did she fidget nervously when it stalked closer to her. After all, it wasn't like this thing could _see _her...

...

...

...

Nor did she take a hesitant step backwards when it stopped, wiggling it's rear end in preparation for a pounce...

...

...

...

"_MRREOW!_"

She _did _however, run like a bat out-of-hell when it lunged at her, claws and teeth first.

"AIIEEEE!" she wailed, leaping off the windows edge and landing on the ground in a crouching position with a solid 'thud'. Not wasting any time, she bounced to her feet and took off into the streets, zig-zagging through the crowd. The starving alley kitten was already hot on her heels. Amity was grateful that she manged to retain another useful fairy ability.

Fast running and fairy agility.

She wasn't grateful, however, for the hundreds of shoes she once again had to dodge.

"_MRREOW!_"

Oh, and she wasn't too thrilled with the cat that was trying to eat her either.

_'How can it even see me!' _she mentally raged, somersaulting out of the way before a rather large gentleman could squish her with his pudgy, sandaled feet.

The kitten pounced again. Amity darted to her left, narrowly avoiding its pair of razor-sharp claws. The kitten spun around and slashed at her again. Amity jumped upward, grabbing an innocent pedestrian's pant leg and scaling up it with ease. The cat, however, wasn't detoured and followed.

"Eek! Rat! Rat!" the woman cried, swatting at the cat that was climbing up her with her large purse. Amity barely dodged the blow that was meant for the kitten and hopped up onto the woman's shoulders. She jumped nimbly with all her fairy grace onto the woman's head, then, made a running leap onto another man's balding head.

"What the-!" the gentlemen yelled, swatting at his hair (or lack thereof), once again nearly knocking Amity over. Failing her arms to regain balance, she saw out of the corner of her eye, the kitten pounce from the previous woman's shoulders and at her. In a desperate attempt to evade the cat, Amity began jumping from one person to the next's head and scaring many of bystanders; getting many of them clawed and scratched by the stubborn feline.

Thus the head-hopping game of cat and fairy began...

Amity made another running leap, and took a glace over her shoulder. Her face twisted into a panicked grimace, it was gaining on her! She pumped her arms and legs as fast as her body would allow. "Sweet Jiminy Cricket!" she panted, once again launching herself off another person's cranium. "What is _wrong _with this cat!"

Then, like a light bulb that suddenly went off in her brain, an idea hit her. She scanned the crowd carefully, a her eyes lit up once she found the desired object. _'Perfect!'_

Hopping in a few zig-zag patterns across more pedestrian heads (earning startled cries from all of them as the cat followed), Amity landed on a young woman's shoulders; she prayed the kitten from hell didn't see her, and climbed under the lady's large sunhat.

Beads of sweat dripped off Amity's face. She hugged her knees to her chest, gasping desperately for oxygen. The air inside was stuffy and sticky... and smelled oddly like roses. The woman's hair felt relatively clean and soft under Amity's bare and tired feet. The young fairy's highly sensitive, pointed ears were working overtime, listening for any sounds that could be described as 'hungry feline searching for tasty fairy'. Much to her relief, she heard none.

Amity's breathing calmed, and her heart stopped thundering madly in her chest. The blunette wondered how far off course she'd strayed. She had intended to follow her compass and go to the large chapel, but that demon cat had delayed her.

She pulled the compass out from around her neck.

The tip of the arrow had gone completely white.

The fairy's mouth dropped open in shock. How could that be? She... she would have to be _sitting _on Envy's head to get that kind of a...

Wait.

She looked down at the woman's hair. Was this... was this woman Envy? Amity grinned. _'Lucky!' _she thought, punching the air with her fist. _'I found Envy in under a hour! This has got to be a new record of __some kind__! If my mission is going to be as easy as this was, everything else ought to be __smooth__ sailing!' _Of course, in all of the praise filled thoughts that were bouncing around in her head, she had completely forgotten all the times she was nearly squished or eaten by stray felines in the entire fifty-two minutes she had been there.

Suddenly, Amity became aware that the noise of the busy streets had faded, and that Envy's footsteps started to echo all around them, like they were in a large, open room. She mentally cursed, pressing her ear against the hat and wishing she could see what was happening. It sounded like they were going up a flight of stairs now, and felt like it too, since she was bobbing up and down along with Envy's head.

Then they stopped. She wasn't entirely sure how long they'd been walking, but it felt like it had been at least for several flights of stairs.

"Lust, Gluttony, I'm here."

Amity frowned. This woman certainly had a... well.. not a _masculine_ voice, but it wasn't really feminine either... maybe a cross between the two? Either that, or this woman was a heavy smoker with a raspy voice. Amity shuddered. Oh, she hoped not, she hated the smell of cigar smoke... just smoke in general, actually.

Envy walked a few more steps. From her position on the woman's head, Amity could feel Envy looking over her shoulder. "Tch, they must not be here right now. Didn't those two know I was suppose to be coming today to help them with their little Priest problem?" the woman sighed in annoyance. "Oh well, suppose I'm going to have to wait. Ugh, how annoying."

Red electricity surrounded Envy's body, and Amity had to hold her hands over her mouth to stop a startled gasp from escaping her. Envy's whole body started to change, and the sunhat was soon gone, leaving Amity sitting on a mop of black, slightly green tinted, hair. Envy stretched her ( or his? Amity couldn't tell now) arms; they looked muscled... but not in a huge, hulkish sense, they were lean, lithe... like the fairy boys back in Amity's home world. Amity had to grab tiny fistfuls of Envy's hair to keep herself from falling off. Thankfully, Envy didn't seem to notice... Not that she was worried about being seen _'Because people __defiantly__ cannot see Consciences!'_

The green haired enigma whose gender she was uncertain of, sat down. Crossing one leg over the other and resting his/her chin in the palm of his/her hand.

Amity dared not move for a while. It wasn't until his/her breathing had slowed and his/her chest started falling gracefully up and down that she decided to hop down. She landed noiselessly on the arm of the chair that he/she was sitting on and walked in front of the person of unknown gender until she could clearly see his/her face.

Well, she supposed it looked more like a he than a she, so Amity was going to dub Envy a boy. His whole body was definitely lean, and muscled. He wore his hair in long, thin spikes that greatly reminded her of a palm tree... or blades of grass. He wore a purple headband with a triangle symbol in the center. But, of all the things that threw her, it was his outfit. He wore a body tight, sleeveless purple shirt that showed his toned stomach, and an equally pair of tight purple shorts/skirt... thing.

_'He's... __definitely__ an interesting sort of fellow...'_ Amity thought, chuckling nervously to herself. She wondered how he managed to change his appearance. Magic didn't work here, so how did Envy manage to change his looks without the use of it? Or, better yet, if he could chose to look like anything he wished, why choose to look like that? If he was trying to look unique, green hair was such a horribly common color. _'Brown would have made him look much more exotic.' _thought the fairy with a nod of her head.

_'Oh well.' _She smiled. He looked awfully peaceful while he slept. Almost cute. Amity shook her head. _'No time to gawk. I need to merge with his __subconscious__ mind. Then, I start my job as a replacement Conscience.' _her smile turned sad. She wondered, what would it be like to talk to a human? Another person? She'd never got to before, and couldn't help but wonder what it would be like... How would she even introduce herself?

Giggling before wiping the smile off her face, she stood as straight as she could, then gave Envy a low, over dramatized bow. "Hello! My name is Amity Spicket and I'm your new Conscience!" She nearly giggled at how ludicrous the entire idea was. People being able to see her? What a laugh! She straightened her back...

...And found Envy's purple, cat-like eyes staring down at her.

...

...

...

Both Envy and Amity seemed to be frozen, staring at each other with expressions of pure, utter disbelief.

Then, Envy the Jealous: master of trickery and deception, the fourth eldest shape-shifting homunculus who always had a smart-arse comment to make no matter what position he was in, said the most intelligent, profound thing that could be voiced in situation such as this...

_"...Huh_?"

_Sooo..._

_What did you guys think of the chapter?_

_Review please ^^_

_I love any help I can get with my writing. All constructive __criticism__, hints and tips are appreciated ^^_


	4. Chapter 03

Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking

by: Fyuro

Chapter 03

This Means War!

Two Strong Wills Collide! Fairy vs Homunculus!

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_"You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist."_

-Unknown

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This couldn't be happening.

There was no way in the name of the Great Fairy Wendell that this could actually be real.

She refused to believe it. It was impossible. This could never have happened!

Never never never _never __**never **__**NEVER**_!

Here she was, standing in a church, in a world where magic doesn't exist, where kittens are evil and people perform weird acts using alchemy, being stared down by a human. She was being seen by a _human!_ Those words shouldn't be used in the same sentence in the world of fairies! It just didn't happen!

All the events that had taken place within the past hour crashed down around her like a ton of bricks. She had been sentenced to death for being a Failed Conscience, but given a second chance at life. She was stripped of her wings, dragged through a strange portal through the means of a weird power called 'Alchemy' and met something inside that portal that called itself Truth.

She was then sent into a strange world, completely powerless and less than six inches tall. She was chased and nearly eaten by a stray, demonic kitten, hid under a sunhat, and met a bizarre, shape-shifting, gender-confused palm tree that, somehow, _somehow_ managed to see her!

The poor fairy was a hair's breadth away from breaking down into hysterics.

'_I've got to be dreaming! Yeah, that's it! I'm dreaming! There is no way that this can be real! People can't seen Consciences! I'm dreaming! Please oh please oh please let this all be a dream!' _The little blunette pleaded mentally.

"Ah...Who... _What _are you?" Envy finally asked, managing to snap out of his daze.

Amity wanted to run... maybe even jump out that nice, inviting little window that their chair was sitting next to. It would be a quick way to end all of this insanity. Despite all of her trauma, she managed to answer him. "M-My name is Amity Spicket and... I'm your...Conscience?" She felt like pounding her head against a brick wall. _'Stupid stupid stupid! Don't __**interact **__with him! What are you thinking! If you pretended you didn't see him, maybe he would have __pretended__ he didn't see you! Stupid stupid stupid!' _

"My... conscience?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow until it nearly disappeared under his hair.

Amity fidgeted nervously under his intense stare."Ah ha ha... Uh... well, I'm not technically _your _Conscience, I'm just a replacement until we can, uh, turn yours back on." She chuckled nervously once more, rubbing the back of her neck. "It's, uh, nice to meet you Mr. Envy, sir."

...

...

...

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" he exploded into a large fit of roaring laughter; doubling over and clutching his stomach.

Frowning slightly, Amity failed to see what was so funny. Did all the people of Liore have such a strange sense of humor? Or was there some underlying joke that she didn't understand? Humans were awfully peculiar creatures, after all.

"My-My... conscience!" he cackled.

"I'm just your replacement actual-"

He interrupted by bursting into tears of laughter again. "Hahahaha! That's a... hahaha... good one!" Envy managed to gasp. After laughing for a little while longer, he sat up straight again, wiping a tear from his eye. "No, really, what are you?"

"I'm your _replacement _Conscience." She explained. All previous fears of being seen by him were replaced with a bit of agitation. "I'm the voice that is supposed to help you decide between right and wrong."

He snickered, leering down at her. "I hate to break it to you, but I don't need a _conscience_." he said the word 'Conscience' like it was something disgusting, further agitating Amity.

She put her hands on her hips, her cheeks burned red with anger when she saw his grin grow in size; she subconsciously puffed herself up to make herself appear bigger. "Well, you only think that way because your own Conscience is turned off. You wouldn't feel the same way if you had a _proper _Conscience inside your head." she huffed. "...You should be feeling guilty for laughing at me, by the way." she paused a moment, thinking. "You should apologize."

His mood changed so suddenly, it startled her. All of his previous humor was replaced with a dark, annoyed look. He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're really starting to get on my nerves." Before Amity could blink, Envy had grabbed her, holding her in his fist like a toy doll.

"H-Hey!" Amity yelled, wiggling and squirming to get out of his vice-like grip, she glared at him. "Put me down!"

His impish grin returned, though the dark look in his eyes stayed, and he squeezed her tighter, making the blunette gasp for breath. "Nah, I don't think I will."

Amity's eye twitched. She had just about had enough of this cocky little son-of-a-purgle. "Put me down _right now _or you'll regret it!" she threatened.

His grin grew so large, it nearly split the homunculus' face in two. "Tell me, just what are you planning on doing about it, hmm?"

Something in the back of her mind snapped. Everything that had happened that day replayed in the back of her mind. She wasn't going to let him beat her, not without a fight. Growling like an angry feral cat, Amity leaned over...

and bit Envy's nose

"Yeow!" he yelped in pain, feeling the fairy's tiny, needle-like teeth digging into the flesh on the tip of his nose. He dropped Amity on the ground and covering his regenerating body part with his hands. He glared furiously down at her. "That _hurt_!"

Amity was doubled over, unharmed by the fall and spitting onto the ground. "You think you're in pain!" she yelled right back at him, her face twisted into a disgusted grimace as she wiped her tongue with her hands. "Do you _ever _shower!" her nose wrinkled and she spit onto the floor again. "Gross!"

Envy grit his teeth and hissed, his cat-like pupils dilating in size as he took a threatening step towards her. "Why you little-!"

Then he froze.

Well, more like his face froze, to be exact.

Envy wasn't entirely sure what had just happened to him. He felt his entire face lock up and go numb, and, despite how hard he tried, he couldn't so much as twitch and eyebrow. Not even when he tried to physically move his face with his hands He tried to asked 'What happened', but through clenched teeth (that he could not un-clench it came out as. "Wat Aaened?"

Amity thought for a moment before grinning and pointing at him, placing her other hand on her hip. "That, my dear _friend_, is the side-effects of Pixie Bite! Since I am a fairy, my teeth make a natural venom that can paralyze an entire full grown man's body if they are bitten in the right place." _'In all honesty, I forgot I could even do that.' _she added, a mental sweatdrop forming on her head.

The shape-shifter tried to say 'You little punk! I'm going to _kill_ you!', but it came out as. "Ou lil' unk! I'n goeing to _keel_ ou!"

He lunged at her.

Amity cartwheeled to the right and darted out the doorway at such speeds that surprised even Envy. He tried to follow her, but was stopped.

"Envy, there you are." Lust said, stepping in front of the doorway, Gluttony trailing right behind her; stopping Envy just as he was preparing to run out and strangle the little blunette. Lust, folding her arms over her large breasts, raised a delicate eyebrow at him and said. "You know Envy, you really shouldn't make faces. It might get stuck that way."

Envy let out a long string of swear words (or, attempted to anyway) his paralyzed face still not allowing him to speak properly nor glare daggers at Lust; she looked at Envy quizzically before debriefing him on their current status in Liore.

He didn't hear a word of it though. His thoughts were stuck on the little fairy, and all the ways he wanted to kill her.

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Of course, Amity didn't run too far away from Envy. That would be breaking Rule Number Two _'You cannot leave your charge unattended for any length of time'_ So she stopped running when she noticed that he was no longer chasing her. She quietly tip-toed back towards the room, and snuck inside while the woman with long, beautiful raven hair and purple eyes informed Envy of how their 'project' in Liore was going. Amity didn't understand much of what was going on, but she knew it wasn't a good project by the sound of things.

She chose to hide underneath a small chest located in the room, it barely rose above the floor, so she had to crawl on her stomach to get underneath. She figured if she could barely fit under it, a certain palm-tree haired jerk's hands couldn't fit under it either. Amity couldn't help but feel slightly victorious when she saw that Envy's face was still paralyzed with her Pixie Venom.

The fairy sighed, resting her cheek in the palm of her hand and propping herself up on her elbow. He certainly was going to be a challenge to reform, that was for sure, and Amity wondered if she even could turn him to the side of good. Envy seemed to enjoy being evil...

Amity shook all thoughts of doubt out of her head, a determined look coming across her face. She would not lose focus, she could do this! She _would _do this! Not only for her sake, but for Envy's too! Surely, underneath that mean, foul, evil , wrenched, demonic exterior there was a small shred of goodness in him! _'__Watch__ out Envy, and prepare to become one of the greatest good-guys of all time!'_

She optimistic blunette observed Envy as he transform once again. This time into a large, slightly pot-bellied man in priests clothing. His face loosened up and his mouth curved upward into a demonic grin. Amity frowned. His shape-shifting abilities could counteract her venom, that could lead to some serious problems further down the road.

With no one noticing, Amity scampered out from underneath the chest, climbed up Envy's newly acquired robe and hopped into a pocket on its side.

She had no idea what kind of hell she was about to enter.

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Envy (disguised as the Priest Cornello) exited the room and made his way back down the large staircase.

Though he was excited to see what kind of trouble he could stir up here, and how many foolish humans he could manipulate to his will, Envy still had nagging thoughts of that little fairy in the back of his mind.

Even though she was extremelyannoying, he wondered what she was. He didn't buy that _'__I'm a Conscience.__' _crap for a minute, and he certainly didn't buy the whole 'fairy' act either. Maybe she was an escaped chimera? Or some sort of human transmutation experiment? He supposed either way it didn't really matter.

Envy would get his answers and kill her just the same

His mouth twisted into a delighted, toothy grin. Oh, he couldn't wait for that day to come!

**.**

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At that moment both Envy and Amity had only a single thought running through their heads.

_'Amity.'_

_'Envy.'_

_'This. Means. __**WAR**__!'_

_Authors Note:_

_Wow! Thank you:_

_Moonlit Water Sunny River, Guest 1 and Guest 2 (if I had to guess who you are, Guest 2, I'd say... you're the Easter Bunny!) LeFay Strent, Silence Shouting, and iAnneart01!_

_If any of you guys want to ask questions about the story, fairies, Consciences or the plot, let me know and I'll answer them in the next chapter (I'll only answer questions that won't reveal major plot spoilers though ^^) _

_Well, what did you guys think?_

_Review please ^^_

_I love any help I can get with my writing. All constructive __criticism__, hints and tips are appreciated ^^_

_P.S  
_

_LeFay Strent pointed out I that I had misspelled the town's name. There are actually 3 different way's to spell it. #1 in the manga it is spelled Reole, #2 in FMA 2003 it is Lior and #3 in FMA Brotherhood it is spelled Liore. Since my story takes place in Brotherhood, I am going to change my spelling to Liore ^^  
_

_Thank you Lefay Strent for pointing out the error :)  
_


	5. Chapter 04

Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking

Chapter 04

Running from Monsters

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_"Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate."_

- Unknown

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Amity pulled her knees toward her chest, closed her eyes and plugged her ears; wishing that everything she had just seen would quit replaying over and over again in her mind. She hated her sensitive ears at that moment, since no matter how hard she tried, she could still hear the man's screaming as the bald, fat man-Gluttony-devoured him _alive_.

She loathed her cowardice as she hid on the tiny edge above the balcony doorway's arch, but what else could she do? She was only a few inches tall-_'The perfect bite-size snack.' _she thought with a gulp-she couldn't take on three super powered... whatever they were.

Amity never would have guessed how _evil _these people really were. Envy had just caused a large scale riot outside (and thought it was funny too), Lust had given a speech about how pitiful humans were and how they never seemed to learn from their mistakes, and now Gluttony had just eaten a man! And what did Envy and Lust do while the man was being devoured alive? They were carrying on a conversation, as if nothing was happening!

"That was so yummy!" the bald homunculus cried in delight long after the man had quit screaming. Amity felt bile rise up in her throat at the sound of him licking his fingers.

She shuddered and hugged herself. Amity had never before seen, or met, a person that simply didn't have a Conscience. Envy and Lust each had one-she could sense them-that were just turned off. But Gluttony... he had _nothing. _No human understanding of right or wrong, no awareness of his actions or guilt... not even denial! Just... nothing. He was a stomach with legs. A cannibalistic stomach with legs!

"All right, we'll deal with it somehow." Lust said. Amity looked down and frowned. She wasn't entirely sure what it was they were going to _deal_ with, since she hadn't heard most of their conversation. But, whatever it was, she was sure it wasn't any good. "So, what was _his_ name again?"

They believed they were superior. The way they spoke, their facial expressions, body language and gestures were proof enough. They truly believed that they were above everyone else. Amity narrowed her eyes slightly. They spoke of humans like they were trash, and treated them like it too. It wasn't right. They should be feeling-

"You should be feeling guilty right now, you know." Amity said, absentmindedly speaking her mind. Lust spun on her heel, her finger nails growing out like long, deadly claws. Amity cover her mouth and suppressed an 'eep' _"Me and my big mouth. Wait... she can hear me too? Geeze, first the cat, then Envy, and now this!'_

"What was that?" Lust asked, violet eyes narrowing when she saw no one to whom the foreign voice could belong.

Envy's eyes widened in realization before narrowing into dangerous slits."_My conscience_." he hissed.

"...Your conscience?" she repeated slowly.

He ignored her and stepped forward. "Alright, show yourself you little bug!"

_'Like I'm going to do that! I'm not suicidal Envy!' _Amity thought, watching from above as he searched for her. _'And I am not a __**bug**__!'_

"Gluttony, do you smell anything unusual?" he asked.

The one in question blinked his little, beady eyes at Envy before closing them and sniffing the air. "...I smell something... funny." Amity stiffened. He could _smell _her?

"Hah! Who needs a shower now?" Envy crowed to the room.

She growled. "Well at least I don't have a gender identity problem!"

...

Uh oh.

Amity barely managed to move out of the way before an elongated, deadly fingernail pierced the wall inches away from her head. Unfortunately for her, she moved a little to far. Failing her arms like crazy, she toppled off the archway's ledge. She covered her head with her arms and screamed as she fell towards the ground. Suddenly Amity felt something grab her leg, stopping her in mid air. She opened her eyes.

"Hahahahahahaha! I got you!" Envy cackled, holding onto Amity's leg with his thumb and middle finger, dangling her in front of his face. She felt her face pale when he grinned demonically and flexed his free hand. "Now, I think it's time to-"

"Envy." Lust spoke, staring at the fairy. "What is that?"

_'Oh, wonderful. __**More **__people that can see me. How absolutely __**delightful**__.' _Amity thought sarcastically. Just how many people could see her anyway! She growled. _'I'll bet Sidius had planned this from the beginning! Oh, when I get my hands on him...'_

He shrugged, looking over his shoulder at Lust. "She says she's fairy, or something stupid like that."

Amity narrowed her eyes angrily. "Hey!"

He turned back to Amity and grinned again, his free hand morphed into a giant blade. "Now, I'm going to-"

"Envy, stop."

"Luuuuuust!" he whined, sounding like a teenage boy complaining to his mother.

She walked over to him, looking down curiously at Amity. "I've never seen anything like it before. Father might be interested."

Amity tilted her head slightly before clapping her hands together in realization. "Oh, so you guys are _siblings_! Heh, I never would've guessed..."

She was ignored.

Envy pouted. "Can't we just feed her to Gluttony instead?" he turned to Gluttony and smiled, waving Amity like she was a dog biscuit and Gluttony was the dog. "What do you say Gluttony? Looks tasty doesn't she?"

The pudgy sin shook his head and covered his nose. "No, she smells funny!"

"Hey!" the fairy protested again.

"You're telling me you can almost eat _Greed_-as disgusting as he is-and not her!" Envy yelled. "Come on! Just hold your nose and swallow! I'll even get you a glass of milk to wash her down with."

"Hey!" she said for the third time, her face turning red from being held upside down for so long.

"No! I don't like milk!"

"What are you, the Fullmetal Pipsqueak!"

"Ooo, can I eat him?"

"No! Now eat the damned fairy or so help me I'll-!"

"_Envy_." Lust said. "You won't kill it until after we bring it to Father."

"B-but-!"

"I said-"

"YEOW!"

Amity had managed to swing herself up, grab onto Envy's hand, and bite down on it as hard as she could. The homunculus dropped her, and immediately felt the Pixie Venom paralyze his arm.

"Nice try." Envy hissed, morphing that arm into a blade as well. "But I learned after the last time." He took a threatening step forward. "Now I'm going to carve you up into tiny little pieces!"

Amity squeaked, ducking under Envy's legs and running toward the balcony. She skidded to a halt when she saw Lust lunge at her. Amity darted to the side, almost making the two sins collide with each other. Gluttony sucked on his finger and tilted his head slightly, wondering what kind of silly game his two older siblings were playing.

She did a back-flip, barely managing to dodge Envy's blades when he swung down both of his arms. Lust extended her fingernails, almost turning Amity into a fairy-ka-bob. Thinking quickly, she cartwheeled out of the two homunculi's path, ran over and ducked under Gluttony's pudgy legs, causing both Envy and Lust to crash into him and come tumbling to the ground; making a homunculus sandwich with Envy on the bottom, Lust in the middle and Gluttony on top. From the safety of the stairway entrance, Amity pumped her fist before punching the air. _'Super awesome fairy ninja skillz for the win!'_

Amity stopped her mental cheering when she saw the homunculi had untangled themselves, Envy looked a little squished, Lust's normally long, wavy hair that curled at the ends was now in complete disarray and Gluttony... well... he looked hungry. The three siblings glared menacingly at her.

_'Oh snap.'_

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The rioters of Liore hadn't stopped fighting for anything. Not for food, or sleep, not even to use the restroom. Their anger and passion for what they were sure was the 'right' thing was all that they needed to keep going. The situation was bleak at best. Smoke from burning buildings filled the air and mingled with the smell of blood. Everything in sight was trashed. Few houses and stores were unscathed. Many thought the fighting would never end

Then, the ground began to shake. All the rioters stopped and turned their head simultaneously towards the source of the rumbling... the church. They watched as the walls and windows rattled violently even though there was not a breeze to be had; it almost sounding like a stampede of wild animals had been let lose somewhere within. Many believed they heard angry shouting coming from somewhere inside, saying things like 'Get her!', 'She went this way!', 'Get back here you little bug!' and 'I AM NOT A BUG!'.

"What do you think is going on?" one man asked.

"I'm not sure." said the other, resting the baseball bat he was holding on his shoulder.

They watched a little while longer before the first man looked at the second. "Don't you think we should," he gestured vaguely between the two of them. "continue?"

The second cleared his throat. "Right. DIE HEATHEN HERITIC!"

"YOU FIRST, CULT SCUM!"

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**.**

Do you have any idea how hard it is to run away from somebody who wants to kill you, yet stick around close enough to him so you can keep an eye on him? Yeah, Amity had never known either, until today that is. '_Sweet mother of Wendell!' _thought the fairy, hiding safely on a giant statue in the churches sanctuary. She watched from above as Lust, Envy and Gluttony searched for her underneath the rows of benches. _'These guys just don't give up.'_

She was surprised, with all the riots that were going on, that no one had come in and destroyed the church. The only thing that looked destroyed was a couple of benches, and the statues hand that was oddly elongated with it's fist punched into the floor. Her breath caught in her throat when she heard Envy growl angrily and overturn a bench. With the cat-like eyes these people had, Amity felt the same as before when the kitten hunted and prowled for her. It didn't help any that Gluttony had a extremely keen sense of smell. He ought to have sniffed out her location by now...

Fingernail's pierced the wall a few inches away from her head. Her hiding place being exposed, Amity jumped to her feet and ran, fingernails embedding themselves every few inches behind her as she did. The blunette screamed when a giant, green hand grabbed at her, cutting off her path. Lusts fingernails sped towards her from below. Amity leaped up into the air to dodge them, only to be batted off the statue like a fly by another freakish green hand.

Amity shut her eyes tightly, she didn't even have the energy to scream as she plummeted towards the hard, stone surface.

Which was... oddly warm and squishy...?

She opened her eyes and found herself slightly squished between two large, round balls of flesh...

...Oh.

She'd fallen into Lust's bra...

"I got her!" Envy yelled, running over and sticking his hand down Lust's chest, fishing for the little fairy. Lust made a noise somewhere between a gasp in indignation and a growl before slapping Envy across the face, leaving a large red hand print on his cheek. He stumbled backward a couple steps, placing his hand on his injured face. "What was that for!" he yelled, looking a little shocked.

She didn't get to answer, Amity hopped out of Lust's bra (apologizing profusely to the female sin as she did), landed gracefully on the floor and ran for another hallway.

With three homunculi trailing right behind her.

The blunette groaned. _'This is going to be a looooong day.'_

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**.**

She had been correct.

Flopping down into a sitting position, Amity's tired aching body sang 'hallelujah' and the young fairy breathed a sweet sigh sigh of relief. She had (_finally_) found a safe place to hide.

The roof on the highest tower of the church (funnily enough, the roof of the place where the chase began) was indeed perfect. She could hear Envy and Lust talking from below, and neither one knew she was even there. Gluttony didn't even smell her! Perfect with a capital 'p' if Amity did say so herself.

She laid back on the roof and watched the twinkling stars above her. It would have felt so much more peaceful if there weren't buildings set ablaze and angry yells coming from the streets. Amity sighed. She missed the green lush grass back at her home, and the flowers, and the mountains... heck, she even missed Sidius! A pain filled cry pierced through her thoughts from the streets below.

Her gut twisted, remembering the screams of the man who had been eaten. She shook her head, blocking out the images and focused on other things; like her mission. It was going to be even harder than she had originally thought. Three people could see her now and none of them were friendly. If she tried to get near Envy, or say anything, she'd have three super powered maniacs chasing her again; sure she was agile but she also knew her limits, she couldn't run forever. Of course, she didn't forget about Gluttony's sense of smell. It would probably stop her before she could even get within twenty feet of them anyway. She groaned. _'Why does Envy have to be so difficult?'_

"I'll be heading back to where I'm needed tomorrow, now that my job in this god-forsaken dust ball is done. You guys can wrap things up here without me" she heard Envy say to Lust.

Amity's ears perked up. As in alone? No other siblings tagging along with? She grinned, revealing her extra sharp canine teeth. _'Excellent! If Envy leaves the others, there's a better chance I can get my job done! Besides, those two are bad influences on him.'_

Yup, things were definitely starting to look up. She her grin formed into a smile. She folded her arms behind her head and closing her eyes.

"I smell the little fairy!"

Her eyes popped open.

Or not.

_Author's Note:_

_Thank you iAnneart01, LeFay Strent, critical, Saya, Guest, and channel genie for your reviews!_

_So, what do guys think of the chapter? Any thoughts?_

_If you guys have questions about the story, characters, or anything like that, let me know and I'll try to answer them the best I can at the end of the next chapter (I won't answer your question if it reveals a major plot point in the story, though.)  
Any-who review please ^^_

_All tips, comments and critiques are welcome if anyone is willing to offer it._

_I appreciate any help I can get with my writing :)_

_~Fyuro_


	6. Chapter 05

Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking

Chapter 05

Confession on the Boredom Train

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_"A man without friends is like the left hand without the right."_

- The Talmud

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In hindsight, Amity supposed things could've been much worse. Sure, being stuck inside a miniature cardboard box wasn't the most pleasant place she could imagine herself being, but at least she got to stick near Envy. When they had caught Amity, she thought she was done for. All it would have taken was for Envy to crush her in his _literally _ iron grip (the only way he could hold her without risking getting bit) or for Lust to have run Amity through with her long, deadly fingernails, to kill her. However, the female sin intervened before Envy could do Amity in; saying that the fairy was something that Father (whoever that was) would be interested in. Envy wasn't too happy, but quickly shut up when Lust gave him a deadly glare. She told him to return to Central and take Amity with him, leaving no room for argument in the tone of her voice.

So, here she was. Inside a box with only a few rays of sunlight peaking through pin-prick sized airholes to keep her company; she suddenly felt pity for the little bugs she use to capture and put inside jars when she was a newly born Conscience. Amity leaned one of her pointed ears against the cardboard wall. She could hear the sound of a train on railroad tracks and the occasional train whistle. Amity could make out bits and pieces of conversations from random passengers, but nothing of any real interest. She learned some things about this country, like how some things in the military system worked, what State Alchemists were, the name of the country's leader (Führer King Bradley), she learned about a serial killer who had been given the nick-name 'Scar' and how he targeted State Alchemists.

Sadly enough, that was all the people on the train seemed interested in talking about. Amity soon grew tired of hearing about how horrifically evil Scar was, or how great and wonderful their leader is. She sighed, hanging her head. The fairy rapped against the wall of her prison with her knuckles. "I'm bored." She announced, trying to gain her captors attention.

She heard Envy grumble something intangible under his breath."Deal with it." He whispered in his new disguises voice, so as not to gain any unwanted attention from the other passengers. Amity couldn't blame him, it would look a weird for a full grown man to be talking to a box.

"But there's nothing to do in here!" The blunette protested, whisper-shouting back.

"Tough."

Amity stuck her tongue out childishly at the wall and folded her arms. "...You should be feeling guilty for putting me inside this box, you know." She pouted.

She could have sworn she heard him grin. "Oddly enough, I don't"

"You know, if I had my Full-Conscience powers, I could be making you feel _very _guilty right now."

"Oooo, I'm positively quaking with fear."

"...Your sarcasm is not appreciated."

"Really? I find it one of my more favorable qualities."

"You should also be feeling guilty for chasing me, trying to kill me and attempting to feed me to Gluttony." She added thoughtfully, listing the different things Envy should be feeling guilty for on her fingers. "And let's not forget starting that riot in Liore, or sitting back idly while Gluttony ate that man, or all the times you've insulted me..."

Envy groaned, undoubtedly wishing he could strangle her with his bare hands at that very moment. "Oh just shut up already! If you don't be quiet, I don't care what Lust says, I'll squash you like the little insect you are.".

...

...

...

"You ought to feel guilty for calling me a bug twice now."

Her box was suddenly lifted into the air and give several violent shakes, causing Amity to bounce around inside like a rubber ball. She landed with a 'oomph' onto the cardboard floor. Envy chuckled evilly to himself. Amity groaned, rubbing her now aching head. Who knew cardboard could be so hard?

"What was that for?" She hissed, glaring daggers at the wall-er-ceiling... whatever it was now. She'd lost track.

"That was for being so _annoying_."

"I wouldn't be so _annoying _if you actually gave me something to _do_."

"Oh, put a sock in it."

Amity blinked. "How can I do that? I'm barefoot."

She heard the shape-shifting homunculus groan again. "It's a figure of speech."

The little fairy tilted her head to the side. "You mean like 'Make like a bee and buzz off'?"

"... Huh, never heard of that one before."

"I've got it!" Amity exclaimed, a delighted grin on her face as she thought of something to do that was completely unrelated to what they were talking about. "Let's play Confession!"

"...Confession?"

"It's a game we Conscience's play back home! I ask you a question about yourself and you answer, then you ask me a question about myself I and I answer! I've never got the chance to play it with someone other than Regen!" Amity beamed, recalling her male fairy friend who she hadn't seen in over three years.

...

...

...

"No." Envy deadpanned.

She frowned, her shoulders slumping. "Aw, why not?"

"I see no reason for me to play." He explained.

"If you play, I'll be silent for the rest of the train ride!" She promised, clasping her hands together. "I swear, I'll be as quiet as a cricket! You won't even know I'm here."

"... Crickets are noisy."

"I'll... I'll be as quiet as a _dead _cricket!"

There was a long moment of quiet, making Amity wonder if Envy decided just to ignore her instead.

"You're probably lying." Envy said, his voice taking on a harder tone.

The fairy's eyes widened and she gasped. "Lie?! It's against the rules for a Conscience to do that!" She exclaimed, appalled with even the very thought of it. Envy was quiet once more, so the fairy continued. "If it makes you feel better, I _swear _on my honor as a Conscience, I will be 100% honest with all my answers. And if I ask a question you don't want to answer, you can pass. Besides, don't you want to have some information about me to share with your Father? It's also a good way to make sure what I tell you and what I tell him will match up... C'mon, please? I'm going to die of boredom in here!"

Quiet once more. Then a sigh. "You are the strangest bug I've ever met. Alright, I'll play... But I get to go first!"

Amity beamed from pointed ear to pointed ear. "Okay! Ask away!"

Envy paused, thinking. "Alright... what exactly is a conscience?"

The blunette blinked owlishly, one of her eyebrow lifting. "I told you before... But if you insist on hearing it again, a Conscience is someone who helps you decided between right and wrong."

She heard him snort. "Right."

"My turn! Hmm... Okay, why can you turn into other people? I've never seen anybody do that."

"Pass."

Amity pouted, she really wanted to know that! "Fine... Who is you father?"

"Pass."

Her eyes narrowed. "Are you doing this on purpose?"

"Yes. Where do 'consciences' come from?"

"Well-Hey! That's not fair, that wasn't what I wanted to ask!"

"You asked a question and I answered." Said Envy. She could hear the grin he was wearing just by the tone of his voice. "It's perfectly fair."

Amity let out a frustrated growl, her hands balling up into fists. "You win this round." She grumbled, folding her arms across her chest, looking up at the ceiling of her cardboard prison, her expression turning thoughtful. "Consciences come from a world, well, it doesn't really have a name... We've never told anyone that doesn't live their about it, so we never really had to give it one... That's where I'm from."

"...That's a really complicated way to not answer a question."

"Well, you never really answered any of mine." She retorted, a victorious smile on her lips. "Okay, okay, it's my turn! Hmm..." Amity rubbed her chin. "How old are you?"

She expected him to say 'Pass' since he didn't seem to want to share any personal information to her. So she was surprised when he answered her. "172."

"Really? That's awfully young..."

"Young?" He queered, sounding surprised.

"M-hmm. Most people I know are at least 300 years old." Of course, she only really knew 5 other people, but Envy didn't need to know that.

There was a long period of silence before the shape-shifter asked. "How old are you?" Amity was amazed with how genuinely curious he sounded.

"Oh, I'm really, really young. About...14... I think." She answered, counting up the years on her fingers. "I don't usually keep track."

"Right."

"Oh, I've got one!" She exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "What is... " She paused for dramatic effect. "_your favorite color_?"

"... My favorite color?"

"Yup."

...

...

...

"Green."

"Like your hair?" She asked.

"I'm not obligated to answer that." He said, annoyed with her presumption.

"Fine fine, your turn."

"Are there more of you?"

Amity blinked again, looking down at herself. "I'm pretty sure there's only one of me..."

"Not that! I mean, are there other conscience-fairy things like you out there?"

"Oh! Well... yes. There are thousands of us... Are there any more of you? Your obviously not a human..."

"...Yes."

Amity smiled. "So, those others, Lust and Gluttony... they're your family then? And you work for your Father."

"That's two questions." He grumbled.

She ignored him. "What about your mother?"

"What about _your _parents?" He retorted, his voice raising in volume.

"Consciences... don't have them. Well, we did at one point, but not anymore. That's not how we're born." She mumbled, an odd feeling tugging at her chest.

"What do you mean by-"

"What do you enjoy doing for fun?" She hastily interrupted, wishing to avoid the previous question.

"Pass. Now, how exactly are consciences-"

"It's still my turn!" She snapped, frustration creeping into her tone. "_Why_ can't you tell me what you enjoy doing? How can you telling me what you like to do affect what ever super secret mission thing you are your siblings are up to? Don't you have any hobbies? Things you enjoying doing? People you hang out with? Don't you have any friends?!"

After those last five words fell out of her mouth, she felt the atmosphere drastically change around them. The tension that now filled the air was palpable, nearly suffocating. She felt waves of anger, resentment, confusion, jealously and... a bit of sadness, roll of the shape-shifter in waves. He said nothing, no words really needed to be said. He was angry. _Furious_.

She half expected the little box she was in to be squished, with her still inside. Or maybe to have Envy rip the lid off and strangle her himself. But, after waiting for some time, nothing happened. He was silent. Amity pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly, uncertainty weighed heavily in her mind, wondering what exactly she said to make him react like this. Generally when he got angry at her, he would lash out and attempt to hurt her...

Amity kept her promise, and was as quiet as a dead cricket for the rest of the train ride.

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_Author's Note_

_First of all, sorry it took me so long to update! Things have been really crazy around here ^^'._

_*Sigh* This is probably one of the shortest chapters I've written, and nothing really amazing happens here... Definitely not one of my better chapters..._

_Now, enjoy this bonus chapter at the end, where Amity and Envy thank our reviewers and answer their questions ;)_

_...Is it bad that my bonus chapter is longer than my real __chapter.__..?_

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"Envy! Envy!" Amity called, running over to the palm-tree haired, shape shifting homunculus who was attempting to sneak out of the blank, white void. He wasn't entirely sure if it was a possible feat, but he'd die trying!

"What?" He asked, turning to her, only to come face to face with a small stack of papers. He waved them out of his personal space, revealing the grinning fairy behind them. "What are these?" He questioned, giving the papers she was holding a dubious look.

"They are our reviews!" She chimed happily, her grin growing in size. Envy frowned, he was certain only _he _could grin that big... in a sadistic, evil way, of course.

"Reviews?"

She nodded. "Fyuro told me that we're suppose to read them off and thank the people who wrote them! Oh, and we have to answer any questions they have too."

"Fyuro?"

"Yes."

"Our author?"

"M-hm."

"... She's the reason why we're stuck in this white void isn't she?"

"Yup."

His eyes narrowed into slits and he clenched his fists. "...Someday, I swear on my Philosopher's Stone, someday, I _will _destroy her..."

The blunette rolled her eyes. "Yeah Yeah. But let's start reading the reviews we got from the previous chapter first."

Envy sighed forlornly. "Might as well get it over with, I have better things to do than hang around a stupid, lame bonus chapter."

"I like bonus chapters, I'm my full height in here!" She sang, twirling in a circle. Proudly showing off her 5'5" height.

"Just read the reviews."

The blunette pouted, sticking her tongue childishly out at him. "Oh, fine." Pulling out the first paper and clearing her throat in a business-like way, she began.

_"great story I cant wait to read more!" _

_~from GoldenxDreamer_

"'Great story'?" Asked Envy, his voice raising several octaves as he ripped the piece of paper from the fairy's hands, reading it over himself. "You realize, Amity, that all the people that read this are secretly sadists."

Amity blinked. "How do you figure that?"

"Because," He explained like a mother explaining something to her child. "They get a kick out of watching you and I go at each other like cats and dogs. They think it's funny that I try to kill you and that you constantly annoying me is hilarious. Therefore, all the people who read this and like it are all secretly sadistic, evil little-"

"Okay, I think that's enough!" Amity interrupted, a sweatdrop forming on her temple. "Thank you for your positive review GoldenxDreamer! We appreciate the support."

"I don't."

She sighed, pulling out the next piece of paper.

_"Hilarious_

_I'm going to assume that the only reason Lust Gluttony and Envy can see her because they're __homunculi.__" _

_~from Ikarai_

Amity pursed her lips in thought. "Well, that might be it. I'm not sure though. Fyuro hasn't told us whether that's the reason or not..."

Envy shrugged. "I could care less."

The fairy smiled. "Thank you for the review, Ikarai! We-or at least I-appreciate it!" She turned to the next page.

_"F**K YEAH!_

_woot woot! another update!_

_pretty awesome and why WHY does Envy want to kill her :(_

_He shuld be friends with her! or not..._

_Hopefully she doesnt get maimed by these humunculi... now continue? :)" _

_~ from iAnneart0_

"I agree entirely!" Amity yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at Envy. "You should be friends with me instead of trying to kill me all the time!"

"Do I have to spell it out for you? You're A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G. That is why I want to kill you. And I disagree with iAnneart01, I think we homunculi _should _maim you."

She narrowed her eyes at him before sighing. "Well, thank you iAnneart01 for the review... and for agreeing with me that Envy and I should be _friends _and that he shouldn't be trying to kill me all the time._"_

"Not happening."

Rolling her eyes, the fairy turned to the next page.

_"Well done! Update Soon!_

_Is she going to meet Ed and Al?_

_What happens once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?_

_-Unknown_

_(P.S. No looking it up, thats cheating!)" _

_~from KandyCanes_

"Oh, I know this, I know this!" Amity exclaimed, her face scrunching up in concentration. "It's... um... uh..."

"The letter 'M'." Envy supplied, crossing his arms and turning up his nose arrogantly.

She furrowed her brows at him. "How can that be? I'm sure we say the letter 'M' at least _once _in a thousand years."

The homunculus blinked owlishly at her before face palming. "The riddle isn't talking about _time _it's talking about the words minute, moment and thousand years and how the letter 'M' occurs in minute and moment, but not in a thousand years."

...

...

...

"I still don't get it." She said, shrugging while Envy fell over anime style. She re-read the review. "Am I going to meet Ed and Al?" The fairy looked over her shoulder, and down at Envy who was still laying on the ground. "Who're they?"

"Fullmetal Pipsqueak and the walking trash can." He clarified, standing back up.

"Oh... Well, I'm pretty that they're on a list of people I'm going to meet in the future that Fyuro gave me." Amity said, pulling out a separate piece of paper with a list of names written on it. "Unfortunately, it doesn't say how I'll meet them, or if they can see me, but their names are on here... along with Ling, May-Chan, Winry, Roy Mustang and... Ho_nee_him?"

Envy blinked. "Honeehim?" He pulled the paper from out of her grip and read down the list. He grit his teeth tick mark appearing on his forehead. "That's _Hohenheim _not _Honeehim_ you idiot."

"You people all have weird names..." She sighed. "Thank you for the review KandyCanes!" The blunette said before pulling out the next review and reading it aloud.

_"Luv the story! Write more!"_

_~from Chenchar_

Amity beamed. "Thanks Chenchar! Nice to know you're enjoying the story!"

"They're all sadists I tell you, _sadists_!"

"Next one."

_"The part with the bra was the funniest thing i've ever heard! I'll be waiting for your update! XD"_

_~from Kashagal and Natures Ruler _

Envy burst out laughing while Amity cheeks turned a delicate shade of pink. "I was hoping everybody would have skim-read over that part." She mumbled, blushing all the way to he tips of her pointed ears.

"This 'Kashagal and Natures Ruler' has a great sense of humor." Cackled the homunculus. "I still don't understand why Lust slapped me though..." He added as an afterthought.

"Lets... lets move on the the next one."

_"Hi (it's SilenceShouting btw, I changed my name) Sup? THIS IS AWESOME. I can't wait to see what happens next! _ It's so exciting; you're really good with suspense! :D update sooooooooooon!_"

_~ from Silence-That-Kills-Me _

Envy stared blankly at the review. "Sadist." He grumbled.

"Hey! It's a nice review!" Protested the blue haired fairy, putting a hand on her hip. "And the new name is cool."

"And what's with him complimenting the author?" He asked, gesturing to the letter. "'Really good with suspense' 'So exciting'? He's encouraging her to harass us even more!"

Amity sighed, hanging her bushy, blue haired head. "Would it kill you to say something nice for once?"

"Possibly. That's why I've never tried."

The Conscience shook her head. "Moving on."

_"This is so different. I love it. Amity is hilarious. God, her whole encounter with Envy had me dying. His reaction. First the: "Huh?" then him bursting into laughter - I was like, he would so do that! Anyway, reallly love this story so far, and Amity's unique character. Awesome job, looking forward to more. :)"_

_~from SyncxArietta _

"I like this reviewer!" Amity exclaimed, her face aglow with pride and sheer happiness.

"... I do agree that this story is _different_." Said Envy, reading the review over Amity's shoulder. "I still don't get why people would actually read this garbage though. And this person has to be loopy to think _you're _funny."

She chose to ignore the insult he tacked on at the end. "It's nice to know she finds the story funny, and I'm glad she thinks you're in character... Though, I wish for once you'd act a little OOC. You'd be nicer to me."

"Thank Ishvala-Leto-whatever-that I'm not."

Amity sighed sadly. "Well, that's the last review."

Envy fell to his knees, clasping his hands together and looking up at the white heavens. "Thank you..." He whispered, tears of joy running down his face.

"Okay, that's a little _too _OOC! You can stop that now! Seriously Envy, you're freaking me out!" Amity yelped, taking several large steps away from him. A thought came to her. "Oh, we still have one more thing to do!"

"NNNOOO!" Envy cried, his hands grabbing the sides of his head.

"Our guest for this bonus chapter is going to promote shameless advertising for a new story the author has written." She chirped, completely unfazed by her partners meltdown. "Truth, if you please."

The white silhouette sighed, wondering to himself how he got dragged into this. "Fyuro has written a new story called _Sin and Virtue_."

Summary: _An alchemist, a suit of armor, a kid, a songstress, a homunculus, a dog and cat all board a train... Waiting for the punch line? There isn't one. This is the beginning of a story on how seven very unlikely people save a world where Alchemy is a forbidden practice and Letoism reigns supreme._

The white enigma continued. "The story stars Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, Envy, and four original characters created by the author. This story will also feature the characters of Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Greed, Ling, Lan-Fan, Scar, Father, Hohenheim, etc. And even more, minor OC's. The story is Alternate Universe, but carries many of the same plot elements of the original, like Ed and Al's quest for the Philosopher's Stone. Rated T for mild-language and semi-graphic violence. Fyuro asks you to please check the story out, and review if you like it."

"Thank you Truth!" Amity beamed, rocking back on the balls of her feet.

"And what will you offer me in exchange for doing this?" It asked.

"Um... "

Truth raised an invisible eyebrow at the fairy. "You didn't think I'd do this for free, did you?"

"I was going to offer you a...a cookie?" She offered with a small, nervous shrug and slightly cheesy grin.

...

...

...

"Deal." With that, Truth vanished into thin air.

Amity sighed in relief before turning and smiled turning toward the audience. "Thank you all again for the reviews and support. As usual, the author encourages you all the review and loves any help she can get with her writing skills. We will do our best to answer all questions and are open to any ideas you have! This is Amity Spicket signing off! See you next time!"

"NO MORE I BEG YOU!"

"Envy, we're finished! The white void is gone and we're back in Amestris, you can get up now! Okay, I take it back, please stop acting OOC! ENVY!"

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_**Review!**_


	7. Chapter 06

Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking

Chapter 06

Father, The Divine Cuisine from Heaven, and Pirates.

Central Certainly is a Very Strange Place

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_"Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts."_

- Unknown

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The bushy blue haired fairy resisted the urge to voice her boredom. They had been walking, and walking, and _walking _for _forever_. At first, she could make out the different city noises, get bits and pieces of others conversations. But now, the only sound she could hear was the echoing of Envy's footsteps.

Wherever they were, it was cold... cold and dank... cold and dank and _smelly_. Sneezing, Amity hugged herself, not out of fear, she was just simply trying to get warm again.

Finally, they stopped.

"Envy, you have returned."

Amity blinked. That sounded... that sounded like a kid's voice! Only, like there were several speaking at once. It had an eerie, almost sinister effect; something that did not belong on a child. The fairy pressed her ear against the cardboard wall, wondering if she really heard what she thought she had.

"Yeah," Envy said, sounding like his usual, palm-tree self again. "And I've brought something back from Liore that might be of great interest to Father." Amity felt him lift her box up higher in the air.

...

...

...

"A box?"

She was amazed how the boy (at least, she thought it was a boy) managed to sound intrigued and condescending at the same time. It was a talent that she most certainly didn't posses.

"It's what's inside the box." Envy explained, his voice straining with effort, most likely from trying to not say something insulting to the child. Why Envy felt the need to not be insulting was beyond her; insulting people seemed to be a priority for the grumpy shape-shifter

Silence. The fairy pressed her ear as far as she could into the wall of her prison, and still heard nothing. She frowned, wondering why everything had become so quiet. Suddenly, the light dimmed, she looked up.

Purple eyes and sharp, jagged teeth greeted her.

"Sweet Jiminy Cricket!" Amity exclaimed, pressing her back against the wall, staring wide eyed at the eye and teeth filled shadows that were seeping in through the air holes of the ceiling.

"What is that?" Asked the child's voice from outside, the shadow's eyes mirroring the wonder in his voice.

"I-I-I-I'm E-Envy's replacement Conscience." She stuttered, waving a shaky hand in greeting at the shadow, her lips pulled into a nervous smile. "Nice to meet you?"

"... Your conscience?" The child questioned Envy.

"So she says." Said Envy, annoyance seeping into his tone.

"You'd best bring her to Father then." He announced after a small period of silence. The shadows slithered out of her box, causing Amity to let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She heard Envy mutter 'I didn't need you to tell me that' and 'Bossy older brother' under his breath.

She blinked. Another relative? Just how many siblings did Envy have anyway? And what did he mean by 'older brother'? The kid sounded so much younger than him...

More walking. Amity sighed heavily. She was really getting tired of being in this box. She wished she could see exactly where they were headed and where they were now. Sound and smell weren't much to go on and the only thing she could 'see' was that it was a lot dimmer where they were than it was on the train or in the city. So, for lack of better things to do, she did her best to listen for anything new as they walked...

And walked...

_And walked..._

_**And walked...**_

...

...

...

Still walking...

And, surprise! More walking...

...

...

...

"I'm bored." She announced.

"Don't _even _start that again!" Envy yelled. He lifted her box up higher, and she could feel the furious glare he was sending her. She was surprised it didn't burn a hole straight through her box.

"Hey, I kept my promise! I was quiet the rest of train ride! I never said I'd be silent once we got _off_ the train!"

"I hope Father gives me permission to kill you after this." Envy hissed as they kept on moving. "I will cut you up into little pieces, nice and slow. Or maybe I could run you through a meat grinder..."

The color in Amity's face drained. "I-Isn't that a little... extreme? I-I mean..."

"Or maybe I could feed you to some stray dog." He continued, his tone becoming more and more sadistic. "Or, I could put you in a bottle and leave you in the desert? Or maybe..."

He suddenly grew quiet. Amity grumbled to herself, wishing she knew what exactly was happening.

"Envy. Pride."

Emotionless. Bone chilling. Those words described the speaker's deep voice perfectly. It froze her to the core, she'd never, in all her years as a Conscience, heard someone speak without _any_ emotion. The closest person that came to her mind was Sidius.

"Father." The siblings chorused tonelessly.

Father? This was their father? Amity shuddered. She could understand some of Envy's psychological problems now. Imagine growing up with someone as cold as this man for a father. She was fairly certain dads were supposed to be warm, loving and kind... though, she couldn't really say for sure, since she couldn't remember who her father use to be...

"I found something in Liore that might be of some interest to you." Envy spoke.

The lid on Amity's box came off. Envy's hand, now transformed into iron, reached in and plucked the fairy out, keeping her grasped firmly in his fist. Amity glared at Envy, who was purposely keeping his grip painfully tight, then looked in front of her.

His eyes were as cold as the tone of his voice. They were hard, calculating and absolutely merciless. She didn't think yellow eyes could look so chilling, but this man managed to pull it off horribly well. Father himself had pale skin, and a few wrinkles lining his face, making Amity believe he was somewhere in his forties. Although, if Envy was 172, this man was likely to be much older than that. He wore a long, white robe and kept his shoulder length, golden hair down. He looked at Amity, only a small measure of surprise illuminated the otherwise emotionless depths.

"A Conscience?" He queeried, standing from his chair and walking over to Envy, looking down at Amity like she was a zoo specimen. She blinked. _'Wait... did he just say...'_

"You know what I am?" She asked, forgetting her previous fear in favor of her curiosity. How could he know? That was impossible! Didn't Sidius say that the last Conscience came here over 500 years ago? Plus, no fairy Amity knew of had ever been seen by a human-er-whatever this guy was! Well, excluding herself, of course...

The man ignored her, rubbing his bearded chin in deep thought. Envy, now snapped out of his silent stupor, asked. "Wait, so she really is a..."

"A Conscience? Yes. Though I've only met one other in my lifetime." Father replied. "How did you get here?" He asked.

Amity swallowed thickly. Should she tell him? Biting down on her lower lip, she decided against it. Even though she told Envy little bits and pieces about her world, the information she had given him wouldn't cause any harm. What Father was asking, on the other hand, might. After all, if she revealed _too _much, there was a possibility that the information she gave away could do harm to her home. It would be best not to risk it.

Father glared down at her when she didn't reply, and Amity would have sworn on her fairy wings (if she still had them) that she had never seen, in her entire existence, a glare so fierce and terrifying as his.

...

...

...

She caved.

She told him _everything_. Screw secrecy, this guy was freaking scary! She blabbed about her fist years of Conscience training, all the pranks she'd ever pulled on her teacher Miss Farfella, all the mischief she'd ever committed and every single object she had ever purposely or accidentally broken in her entire existence as a Conscience. She spoke of Regen, how they use to spend a lot of time together before he left on a long mission somewhere she couldn't remember the name of, she spoke of the time she was attacked by a pack of wild purgles, and of the time Miss Farfella had to push Amity off of the classes roof because she refused to fly, due too her old fear of heights. She admitted to once accidentally dying Sidius' hair pink, and it refused to come out for over a month. She confessed her punishment for being a failed Conscience, and told him everything from being sent here through the portal of truth, to being chased by that demonic kitten, to finding Envy and having him nearly kill her and feed her to Gluttony.

By the time she admitted her entire life story, wild gestures and all, she was panting heavily and completely out of breath. Father was silent for a period of time, most likely trying to process Amity's tale, which she gave in under ten minutes. He turned to Envy. "Is it true that this fairy is your Conscience?"

"Replacement Conscience." Amity corrected.

The shape-shifter squirmed a little under his Fathers stare. "She claims to be." He finally managed.

Father's eyes narrowed slightly, like he was disappointed in Envy for something. He switched his gaze back down at the fairy. "She will be your responsibility then."

...

...

...

"...What?" Envy asked, blinking several times.

"This girl came here through the portal of truth, and could prove useful to our plans. See to it she remains unharmed and healthy." Father explained.

"..._**What**_?" Envy repeated, his voice raising in pitch and volume.

"A-aren't you worried I'll... turn Envy good?" Amity queeried, earning a snort from said homunculus.

"No." The golden haired man said, turning his intense gaze towards her once again, making Amity shiver. "You're kind have been here before and failed. I see no reason as to why you would succeed now."

She wasn't entirely sure whether or not to be insulted, but soon decided she didn't care. She got to stick with Envy! Pain and death free! Woo-hoo! It was too good to be true! The fairy grinned. Maybe her luck was finally starting to change?

"B-But, Father!" Envy protested, sounding much like teenage boy at that moment.

"This matter is not up for discussion, Envy." Said Father firmly.

Pride grinned smugly at his younger sibling. Amity blinked, surprised that Pride was so young...

And so absolutely, positively adorable! Of course, the fairy didn't voice this. But she found his slightly messy, black hair (a rare, exotic color in her world), paired with his dark purple eyes made him one of the cutest kids she's ever seen! She just wanted to go over there a squeeze the living daylights out of him! Of course, she would never tell him that...

"You're required back at headquarters. Make sure she is not discovered." Father ordered, bringing Amity back to reality.

"...Yes Father."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Envy roared, punching the sewer wall with his fist, forming a nice sized crater in it. Why!? WHY!? Why would Father _do _this to him!? Did Envy do something wrong and this was just Father's way of punishing him? The homunculus did a mental background check. He couldn't think of anything he had done that would invoke his creator's wrath. It's wasn't fair!

"Envy..." That obnoxious fairy who plagued his very existence whined from within his skort pocket.

He ignored her. Damn, being stuck with this pest was such a pain. Envy wondered if maybe he could leave her in a bottle somewhere for several hours while he did his usual spy work at Central HQ. It would be better than babysitting the little bug all day long...

"Envy... I'm... I'm..." She groaned, her voice hoarse, almost sounding as though she was in sheer agony.

"What?" He asked. Envy didn't care if she was hurt or not, but Father told him to keep her healthy, so he really had not choice but to make sure she wasn't dieing.

"I'm... I'm... _hungry_." She wheezed, as if it took all of her strength to utter those three words.

His eye twitched. "You can wait until tonight." Envy growled.

"B-but I haven't eaten anything ever since yesterday!" Her voice grew panicked, all traces of being deathly ill magically gone. "I'll-I'll _die_ if I don't eat something!"

"Humans can go a lot longer than that without food." He snorted.

"... Father told you too keep me healthy, remember? And even though I'm _not_ human, I still require three square meals a day." Amity informed. He wanted to squish her right then and there. "You don't want to disappoint your Father, _do you_?"

Envy grit his teeth. That cocky little bug, sounding so obnoxiously smug... Oh no, he was starting to rhyme now! He sounded like some stupid, Cat in the Hat, children's book! Damn, he was already starting to go insane (well, insane-er) and he hadn't even been on babysitting duty a hour yet! Suddenly, an idea occurred to him, and his lips pulled back into a wicked grin.

"Okay, I'll get you some food then."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Amity never before, in her entire life, had ever _ever _consumed food so undoubtedly, positively, absolutely, unquestioningly...

_Wonderful!_

The blunette shoved another piece of the delectable creation in her mouth. It was so adoringly crunchy, and so moutwateringly tasty. The fairy swallowed, then sighed in pure, unadulterated bliss. They had nothing so delicious back home! Nothing even came close in comparison! She picked up another one of the funny-shaped pieces, biting down on it, making another loud, satisfying _'Crunch'_. Licking her fingers, so as not to waste any of the heavenly dish, she looked up at Envy. For reasons she did not understand, his mouth was gaping open slightly, his right eye was twitching, and his face was turning an odd shade of green that complimented his hair.

"...Did you want some?"

A slow shake of the head.

She shrugged, picking up her make-shift plate (a bottle cap) and licked up any leftover crumbs from her meal. She also licked her chops and her pointed fairy teeth and gums for good measure. She held her plate toward Envy, grinning brightly. "That was fantastic! What do you call it?"

He turned a darker shade of green. "That-that was... catfood..." He said. It didn't sound like he was answering her, but more like talking to himself in pure, utter disbelief.

"Catfood..." Amity repeated thoughtfully.

...

...

...

"Do you have any more?"

Envy blinked, taking the bottle cap from her and looking down at it. As he walked away to fetch her more of that divine cuisine, she could have sworn she heard him say...

"Well, that backfired."

**.**

**.**

**.**

"What's going on out there?"

"Amity, be quiet."

"But I can't see anything from in here." She whispered loudly.

"Good."

Amity glared at the inside of the pocket she was in. Envy had transformed into a blonde military soldier and forced her to hide in the breast pocket of his blue coat. It was stuffy in here, even worse than it was inside her cardboard box. She swayed slightly back and forth as Envy walked. She was once again put in the dark about their location, but it certainly sounded like a busy place. Many footsteps, lots of chattering and shuffling of papers. Envy would every now again again stop and talk to a random person, but Amity didn't really understand what they were talking about. It sounded very much like important business though. Wherever they were, it smelled boring...like lots of window cleaner and pine air fresheners.

The blunette sighed heavily.

The thud of a door shutting and the click of a lock. A shuffling of footsteps...

"Welcome back Envy. I trust your mission in Liore was successful?"

Another new voice. His was deep, but not quite as deep as Fathers. It was commanding and strong, Amity thought.

"Yeah. Humans, easy to manipulate as always." Bragged Envy.

"...Envy, is there something in your pocket?" Asked the mysterious new voice.

"Just my conscience." Envy hissed irritably.

"...Your conscience?"

Amity grinned. No better cue than that! Hopping out of Envy's coat like a fairy-sized jack-in-the-box, Amity expertly landed on the shape-shifters shoulder, then jumped up onto his now blonde haired head. She beamed brightly, gesturing at herself with her thumb "My name is Amity Spicket! Replacement Conscience extraordinaire! Pleased to meet you."

There was a long period of silence. Out of the corner of her eye, Amity could see Envy's hand switching.

"Amity... get off of my head." Growled the sin, his whole body shaking in barely suppressed, boiling hot rage.

"But it's so much nicer up here. I can actually breath! That pocket gets pretty stuffy, you know." She informed him. The fairy turned to the new person in front of her, who was staring as curiously at her as she was at him.

He wore a blue military uniform similar to Envy's and had a sheathed sword strapped to the right and left side of his belt. His hair was black, cut short, and sleeked back almost perfectly, were it not for a few stray strands that came down from his forehead. He had a squared jaw, and a sleek mustache that followed his upper lip. He wore an eye patch over one eye, and the other was dark in color. He had a few winkles on his face, but nothing too noteworthy.

After analyzing him for a little while longer, a stunning revelation occurred to Amity, making her gasp aloud. She pointed at the person before her...

"You're a pirate!"

...

...

...

"What?" Both Envy and this new person asked, each sounding just as disbelieving as the other.

Amity cupped her face with her hands, her blue eyes sparkling. "This is so cool! I've always wanted to meet a pirate!"

Envy groaned, covering his eyes with one of his hands. This was just downright embarrassing! How can he plot sinister deeds with... with _her_ going goo-goo-ga-ga over... _pirates?_!

"Wrath... Wrath is not a pirate." He managed to choke out.

Amity blinked. "Of course he is. He's got the eye patch, the swords... even a mustache! Plus, look at all those stars on his shoulders! He's _obviously _a captain!"

Wrath was too stunned to say anything. He just watched as the comical scene unfurled before him.

"Just because he has an eye patch and swords does not mean he is a pirate!" Envy snapped.

The fairy crossed her arms stubbornly. "And what would _you _know about pirates? I bet you've never met one in your entire life." She shook her head in disgust. "I'll be you've never set foot on a boat, you lilly-livered land lubber."

_...Lilly-livered? _"You said you hadn't either! And it's NOT lilly-livered!"

"That's besides the point! And it is _too_ lilly-livered!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is _too_."

_"Is not!_"

_"Is too!"_

"What is the point of this conversation!?" The shape shifter bellowed.

Amity opened her mouth to argue, but stopped. Her face becoming puzzled. She tapped her cheek with her index finger. "You know, I don't recall."

"ARGH!"

"Aye Cap'n, what be the matter?"

Once again, the envious sin groaned. Something in the back of his mind said that this was only the beginning... the beginning of the many tortures he would soon endure...

**.**

**.**

**.**

_Author's Note:_

_Thank you all for the amazing reviews! I had a lot of fun with this chapter for some reason or another xD Maybe since I got to express my inner love of pirates?_

_Anyway, since the last bonus chapter was so popular, I decided to make one at the end of every chapter ^^_

_Poor Envy ;D_

**.**

**.**

**.**

A Special Thanks to Reviewers Like You!

"Oh no." Envy breathed, looking around the all to familiar white void. "We're _here _again." He hissed, turning to his now full-sized fairy companion. "Why are we here _again_?!" He demanded, his face the very definition of panic.

Amity grinned, holding up a small stack of letters. "Apparently, the last bonus chapter was so popular, Fyuro decided to make one at the end of _every_ chapter."

"E-every chapter?"

"M-hm."

...

...

...

"What could I have ever done to deserve this!?" Envy cried out, his voice echoing in the emptiness around them. "Okay, sure, I started a war, I killed an innocent kid, I've tortured and taken the lives of many other people and enjoyed it... but do I really deserve this!? This... this is a fate worse than death!"

Amity sighed, placing a hand on her hip. "Envy, are you having another OOC moment?"

"Shut up! I've been condemned to a life of sitting here and reading reviews with... _you_. As if hanging out with you in the actual chapters wasn't bad enough, now bonus ones too?!"

The fairy sighed heavily once again, shaking her head. "Well, lets just get on with the reading the reviews. Then you can get back to... whatever it is you do..."

The homunculus took a deep, calming breath, his OOC expression fading from his face. "Fine. What's the first review?"

The blunette beamed, pulling out and reading the first review.

_"Wow... I feel so honored to be part of your story! HOW DARE YOU DISAGREE WITH ME ENVY?!_

_Why? WHY!_

_This chapter was awesome, I feel that Amity is going to have a real breakthrough with Envy's tough-guy mask and they will one day be friends._

_... No?_

_alright :("_

_~ from iAnneart01_

Amity smiled. "So glad you liked it!." She leaned closer to the audience, covering the side of her mouth his her hand and whisper loudly. "And, between you and me, I think I'm getting closer to breaking through Envy's tough-guy mask as well."

"I can _hear _you." Envy drawled, giving the fairy an annoyed glare. "And you are _not _breaking through my 'tough-guy' mask... It's not even a mask! It is the way I naturally am."

"Deni~al." Amity sang, making her companion's cheeks turn red with anger.

"And further more, I disagree with _all _humans, iAnneart01, it's nothing personal."

"Onward to the next review!" Amity exclaimed, punching her fist into the air.

_"Loved this chapter_

_I also loved the responses to reviews. I love it when people decided to give Truth cookies or things like that in exchange for things, it's funny XD_

_This is probably one of the few, if not the only, __fanfictin__ starring an OC that I like."_

_~ from Ikarai_

"Wow! Thank you so much!" She gushed, a bright grin on her face. "And, just so you all know, Truth is a surprisingly big fan of chocolate chip cookies! Apparently, he doesn't get things like that very often. " Amity sniffed, small tears forming in her eyes. "So, so sad..."

"Just get on to the next one!"

"Alright alright, you don't have to yell!"

_"You should make bonus chapters like that more often!"_

_~ from PaperHandy453_

Envy glared at the piece of paper. "It's people like you that get me stuck in chapters like this. I'm telling you Amity, they enjoy torturing us."

The fairy rolled her eyes.

_"I love this story, envy happens to be one of my favorite character's, theres some thing about the sadistic thing that makes him sexy haha. i also love amity shes always getting herself into tricky situations but it makes it funny like landing in lust bra hilarious!._

_P.S i love the bonus chapter thing, you should keep doing it when u get reviews, and hopefully this will be in one and if it is i have a question for amity and envy. amity first, whats your faviourite colour? and envy how tall are you?_

_Kelly"_

_~ from xXDark-Fallen-angel_

"Finally, a reviewer with common sense!" Envy exclaimed, a large, egotistical grin plastered on his face. " '_envy happens to be one of my favourite character's' _and '_theres some thing about the sadistic thing that makes him sexy '. _This human actually knows a thing or two." He looked over at Amity, his grin becoming slightly sadistic. "And people only like_ you _because you keep doing stupid things, _like falling into Lust's bra._" He drawled slowly, delighting in the fact her cheeks turned bright red with embarrassment.

"Why does everyone keep having to comment on that!?" She hissed, the red color in her cheeks darkening. "And I thought you said you didn't agree with humans?!"

"I didn't agree with this human... this human agreed with _me._"

"Let's...let's just answer the questions now." She mumbled, re-reading the review. "What is my favorite color? Hm..." She tapped the side of her cheek with her finger. "I've have to say... Orange."

"...Orange?"

"You know, like the color of sunsets?" She clarified. "It also reminds me of pumpkins, and I love pumpkin pie! Oh, and it reminds me of orange juice! My favorite drink! It's also the color of fire, which reminds me of smores and-"

"Yes Amity, we are aware that all of those things are orange." Envy said condescendingly. "How stupid, only liking a color because it reminds you of different foods? Pathetic. Now, can you get on to the next question?"

"Oh, alright." Amity sulked, reading the next part of the review. "Envy, how tall are you?"

The subject in questioned blinked. "Well, that depends. I'm a shape-shifter, so I can be whatever height I want."

Amity made a vague gesture at him. "Well, what's the height you usually like to be in your favorite form?"

"I usually like my height somewhere around 5'9"." Envy said with a shrug of the shoulders. "Sometimes I'll make myself 6', if I feel like ticking the Fullmetal Pipsqueak off."

"I guess that makes sense." Amity agreed, taking out the next review.

_"Ahahahahaha! Omg how many cookies should i give you right now? Im laughing my guts out! And I think Envy is right in saying we are all sadists...even though we may deny it._

_Anyways I LOVE and ADORE this story! I can't stop laughing! Amity is such a fun and unique little character while Envyy is so Envy:) This is such an original story and I hope it continues !_

_I'll be popping up from now on , so you best beware of my ranting -smiles creepily and lets out a mad cackle- MWHAHAHA!"_

_~ from Sky65 _

"Nice to know you're enjoying the story so much!" The blunette laughed."But please don't laugh your guts out!" She added, a worried expression on her face. "And thank you! I'm glad people don't think I'm a... what did you call them, Envy? Merry Stews?"

"Mary Sues." He sighed. "Those things are just... freaks of nature. And coming from me, the over two stories tall green dinosaur, that's saying something."

Amity nodded. "Well, I'm glad so far, no one thinks I'm one of those."

"I'm surprised there's another human that agrees with my theory." Said Envy. "You humans, no matter how much you deny it, are all sadists. How else could you enjoy a story where the two main characters torture each other?"

The fairy opened her mouth to argue, but closed it again and shook her head." You know what, I'm not going to even try."

_"Hahaha! Gluttony didn't want to eat her!"_

_~from LeFay Strent_

"I still don't understand why." Envy said, rubbing the side of his head. "He eats humans I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole! I've seen him consume the Flame Colonel's paperwork, pieces of buildings, even tires! So why wouldn't he want to eat you?"

"I'm not complaining." Amity said, a sweatdrop forming on her temple. "I'm glad he doesn't want to eat me."

_"Too-slothful-to-login_

_Lol this is hilarious! I love Envy! Just had to put that out there...however, I hath forbidden myself of being a fangirl of him, to avoid freaking him out, so he is just my anime crush. ;)_

_Fantastic story-(SADISTS FTW) please update soon! :D_

_-Owl"_

_~ from Owlsweety_

"Yet another human who appreciates my awesomeness." Envy boasted, putting his hands on his hips. "And I suppose I can't blame you for having a crush on me. After all, I am handsome, intelligent, strong, powerful-"

"Humble? Modest?" Amity supplied sarcastically.

"Psh, humility is for pathetic losers." Said the homunculus with a dismissive wave of the hand.

"Oh, speaking of being the _opposite _of humble, we have a special guest star with us today!" Amity said, gesturing to the person who magically appeared out of thin air next to her.

"How did I get here?" Asked the young looking sin known as Pride. He looked around the white void. "_Where _is here?" He questioned, his gaze resting on Amity.

She shrugged her shoulders. "You mostly likely got here via Magic Author powers. And you are in... _the Void._" She said, emphasizing 'the Void' part by wiggling her fingers.

"Welcome to a place worse than hell." Envy greeted, gesturing to the emptiness the surrounded them.

"A place worse than hell?" Queeried the oldest homunculus, raising an eyebrow at his younger sibling.

"A bonus chapter."

...

...

...

"Damn." Pride hissed. "You're right, this is worse than hell."

Amity gasped, covering her mouth. "A kid your age shouldn't swear!"

The homunculus blinked. " 'A kid my age'? I may look young, but I am old enough to be your great-great-great-great-grandfather, I can swear as much as I please."

...

...

...

"You aren't really my great-great-great-great-grandfather, are you?"

Pride's mouth fell open, his expression was of pure, utter disbelief. He quickly closed it again and turned to Envy, giving his younger brother a disbelieving stare. "Did she really just ask...?"

"I told you, this place is _ .HELL_." He hissed.

Amity grinned, holding a piece of paper out to Pride. "Would you like to read our next review?"

"No."

She pouted, retracting her hand. "You people are such kill-joys, you know that?" Clearing her throat, she read.

_"Lmbo! I luv envy! *hugs envy with hearts appearing* and luv! Ur story! Go envy!"_

_~ Chenchar_

Envy grinned. "Yet another human who appreciates my awesomeness."

"I'm glad you like the story thus far Chenchar." The blunette said with a small laugh. "And I'm sure Envy needs all the hugs he can get, so by all means people, hug away!"

"AMITY!" Envy yelped, his eyes widening with horror. "Don't tell them that!"

Amity smiled innocently at him. "But I thought you _liked _your rabid fans?"

"Not when they're trying to maul me to death with hugs! Do you have any idea what you've unleashed upon me!?"

"What can I say? Karma's a-"

"I have a complaint." Pride interrupted.

Both Envy and Amity blinked. "What?"

"How come I'm not mentioned anywhere in these 'Reviews' you speak of?" He growled, shadows swirling behind him.

"Umm... Because you now just entered the story?" Amity said, taking a step backward.

"So? I should still have just as many reviews as Envy does! I'm twice as evil and sadistic as him! It's not fair!" He yelled, stomping his foot.

"Sorry big-bro, but with that kid form, you just don't pull off the 'sexy' quality that I have." Envy boasted.

"My gosh, I think they should have named _you _Pride instead." Amity sighed, giving the palm-tree haired homunculus a dirty look. "Well, maybe this will knock you down to size." She cleared her throat. "Envy has an apology he needs to make to a previous reviewer." She said, looking pointedly at the homunculus.

"I do?" He asked, looking bewildered for a moment.

"Yes. Remember our last bonus chapter?"

Envy blinked, then apparently remembered. He stubbornly crossed his arms and looking away from her.

"Well?" She prodded, tapping her foot impatiently and narrowing her eyes.

"...Fine." Envy sighed begrudgingly. "I... apologize, Silence-That-Kills-Me, for accidentallycalling you a boy in the previous bonus chapter. Fyuro informed after my... error, that you were of the... female variety." He looked over at Amity, who gestured for him to continue. He grimaced. "And... I guess I can understand if that comment might have made you upset... I've been mistaken for the opposite gender in this form all the time... So, yeah. I'm sorry... The end."

"See, was that so hard?"

"Yes! Now, I'm going to go find the Flame Alchemist and have him burn my tongue out after that little 'nice fest'. I'm not made to apologize to you lowly humans, dammit!"

"Well, I guess you're free to do so now, since that was out last review." Amity said. She turned to Pride, a bright smile on her face. "Anything you'd like too say to our reviewers before we sign off?"

Pride slowly turned to face the audience, shadows covering half of his face, making his one eye seem to glow red in the dark. "Review or _die_."

"...Is everyone in your family incapable of being nice?" Amity asked, hanging her head in exasperation.

"Pretty much, yeah." Envy replied with a nonchalant shrug.

"Oh well... Thank you everyone who reviewed, followed and favorited! As usual, Fyuro appreciates any feedback she can get on her writing, and we all love to hear from our readers!" Behind Amity, where she couldn't see them, Envy and Pride vehemently shook their heads and failed their arms madly, mouthing 'No more reviews!' "Please, feel free to drop by with any questions, ideas, critiques... anything! See you next time!" Amity said, smiling brightly and waving.

"Oh, and by the way..." Envy trailed, he and his older sibling giving each other knowing smirks.

"SADISTS FOR THE WIN!" They cheered, punching their fists up into the air.

Amity promptly glomped Pride, squeezing the boy tightly and ruffling his hair. "Darn it all, you're just so _cute_!"

"Unhand me woman! Gah! Get off! You're worse than my mother!"

**.**

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_**Review!**_


	8. Chapter 07

Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking

Chapter 07

Amity's Solemn Vow

The War of Tongues

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**.**

_"Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."_

-Hans Christian Andersen

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**.**

**.**

T_he six year-old Conscience in training rubbed her nose ever-so unladylike on her sleeve, sniffing sadly to herself as the trudged the all to familiar path that led to her special spot. Mind you, not many thought a lone tree in the middle of a sea of green grass was special, but Amity could care less what __**they **__thought..._

_At least, that is what she kept trying to tell herself._

_Once she reached her secret place the little fairy huffed, sitting down on the lush, slightly damp grass and leaning her head against the rough bark of the tree. She watched as the sun slowly started to set, filling the sky with an array of orange, pink and purple. She shivered as a small, cool evening breeze blew across her. The fairy's thoughts traveled back to class that day._

_'Maybe, if you could actually do something right, you'd have some friends.'__ One of her classmates taunted after Amity had once again made an epic failure of herself in the classroom, giving everyone extra work that day for her stupidity._

_Forget those guys! What did they know?_

_'At lot more than you.' __They claimed, as always._

_She shook her head, narrowing her eyes at the ground. So what if she wasn't the best in class? It's not like she cared..._

_'But you really do.' A nasty little voice spoke in her head._

_She closed her eyes tightly, hugging her knees close to her chest._

_'__Silly little Amity, always trying but never succeeding.'_

_'Can't remember a thing. Not how to be a Conscience, not even her real name!'_

_'A fairy that doesn't even remember who she used to be...'_

_'Wendell help us all if they actually make __**her**__ a Conscience.'_

_Amity blinked back her tears, burying her face in her knees._

_She didn't understand. Why did she feel so sad? Why did it feel like something was missing? She had everything she needed. She was healthy, had three square meals a day, and besides Conscience training, she had all the free time in the world. So, why did she feel this way? All the other kids in class didn't seem to be as sad as she was, so why?_

_In the end... why was it was only her?_

_Only her..._

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Why don't you eat lunch with those guys?"

"Psh, like I'd eat lunch with a _human_."

Amity sighed as Envy chose his usual lone table to eat at in the cafeteria at Central HQ. She'd officially been his Replacement Conscience for a week now and had learned a little bit more about her shape-shifting partner; like how Envy was completely anti-social. She tried to convince him many times to go sit with a group of other officers and soldiers, but he refused. Apparently, even sitting next to humans was 'beneath him'.

She wondered if he really felt that way though. The looks he gave the friends laughing and sitting next to each other, they were like the looks Amity use to give whenever she sat alone, not exactly the same, but very, very similar...

It was longing.

She looked up from the pocket she was hiding in, watching as Envy turned his gaze from one particularly happy group of friends and toward his food. Amity learned that Envy didn't need to eat, but did so to keep himself 'in character' while he did his spy work amongst the different departments of the military. She could tell by the slow way he chewed his food, and the glazed over look in his eyes, that Envy was deep in thought. And, by the occasional flickers of emotions that went through his eyes, they weren't happy ones.

The blunette frowned thoughtfully. It was almost the way she looked, before she met...

**.**

**.**

**.**

_"Yoo-hoo, girly!"_

_Amity blinked back her tears and looked up. A boy, who looked to be sixteen (but was probably much older, Consciences hardly ever were as old as they appeared) looked down at her with annoyed, grass green eyes. The younger fairy thought he needed a haircut, since his hair reached all the way down to his waist and was pretty messy looking. The mysterious boy narrowed his eyes slightly. "This is my spot."_

_Normally, Amity would have told him to buzz off, that this was __**her **__spot and that he was a meany-purgle-faced jerk. But, she felt so... dead inside. Empty. Too empty to argue over silly things. Instead she choose to look down at his feet and mumble a quiet. "Sorry." But made no move to get up. She was to numb for that as well._

_He was quiet for a moment, but Amity could hear him shift awkwardly from foot to foot. "Hey... are you okay?" He asked, all annoyance gone._

_Amity felt her throat close up and hot tears began to form in her eyes. Quickly, she buried her face in her knees, nodded 'Yes' and prayed that this boy would just go away._

_No such luck. She heard him sit down next to her, and could feel his eyes on her. "You don't look okay."_

_"I'm fine." She croaked pitifully. "Just go away now."_

_Silence. "Why, I can't very well just leave a maiden such as yourself in distress!" He exclaimed, his voice taking on a playful tone. "What kind of knight in shining armor would I be?"_

_Amity raised her head, wiping away the tears that started to form in her azure eyes and looked up at him in confusion. He grinned teasingly back as her._

_"You're not a knight." She informed, narrowing her eyes scrutinizingly._

_His mouth dropped open, aghast. "What makes you say that?"_

_The blunette gave and exasperated roll of the eyes. "Because," She said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Knights in shining armor actually wear __**armor**__, and they bring the girls they save flowers and stuff... and I don't see any flowers."_

_He hummed, rubbing his chin in thought. "Well, I can't do anything about the armor, but we'll see about those flowers." The boy turned to her, giving her a wink. "Now, just close your eyes for a sec." He said, opening the satchel bag he had been carrying. _

_Amity blinked. Who was this guy? Why hasn't he left yet? Glad, but curious and a little confused why he hadn't, the fairy closed her eyes like the mysterious boy asked._

_The rustling of leaves in the wind, the creak of moving branches, the methodical sway of grass tickling her bare legs and the breathing of two fairies. It was oddly peaceful, she decided. _

_"Okay, you may open your eyes now." He finally spoke after a while._

_She did so, blinking the fading beams sunlight from over the horizon out of her eyes. Amity was greeted by the strangers grinning face._

_And a pink, paper flower._

_She gasped in awe, making the boy's grin grow larger. "Neat, huh?" He asked, tucking it behind her ear._

_It did not stay there long. Amity, eager to see such a glorious creation, plucked it out of her hair and examined it in wonder. She was amazed, watching it's petals ruffle in the light breeze. "W-what is it?" She breathed, twirling the delicate thing between her fingers._

_"A rose." Answered the boy, a proud note in his voice._

_"It's beautiful." She whispered, a soft smile forming on her face. "It must be awfully hard to make..."_

_"Nah, it's really simple actually." Said the boy with a shrug, his gaze turning to lazy clouds floating overhead. "I can teach you, if you like. Then, you can give all your friends paper flowers."_

_A lump formed in her throat. Friends? She didn't know what those were, but for some reason, she felt sad again. Her eyes turning downward. "I-I... I don't..."_

_"Huh?" He asked, looking at her from the corner of his eye._

_"I-I don't have any... friends." She mumbled, looking at her flower sadly._

_She chewed her lower lip. The silence was starting to make Amity nervous. Oh, he probably thought she was pathetic now! Stupid, stupid! Why couldn't she just keep her big mouth shut!_

_"Well, I guess I will just have to remedy that, won't I?" He asked. Amity looked over at him in stunned surprise. He beamed toothily and stood directly in front of her. His expression quickly sobered as he place one hand over his heart and closed his eyes. "I, Regen Bavaria, solemnly vow from this day on and forever more, no matter what you may say, do or be, to eternally be your friend, and not sickness, pain or death will ever separate us." He opened his eyes, his goofy grin returning to his face as he extended his hand out to her. "So, might I know the name of my new friend?" He asked, wagging his eyebrows up and down playfully._

_For the first time that day, Amity laughed. It was an all out, honest to goodness, heartfelt laugh. "My name is Amity Spicket! Pleased to meet you, Regen!" She giggled, shaking his hand._

_Dropping down next to her, Regen propped one elbow on his knee, resting his chin in the palm of his hand._

_"So Amity, ever played Confession?"_

**.**

**.**

**.**

Watching him now, Amity decided something.

Envy needed a friend.

Not someone like Lust or Father who only wanted to use Envy as a tool, but someone who genuinely cared about him, who wanted was was best for him. The fairy frowned, tapping her chin rhythmically in thought. Someone like that would be hard to find... after all, Envy wasn't exactly friendly...

She blinked. Wait...Why couldn't _she _be Envy's friend? There wasn't any rules forbidding a Conscience to be friends with her partner, so why not? Besides, Envy was ordered not to kill her or harm her, so, he couldn't really do anything about it if she tried.

Her eyes glinted mischievously.

Oh, Envy had _no _idea what he had coming.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Envy blinked owlishly at the blunette, who held a small paper flower she had made out of a bubble-gum wrapper out to him. "... Would you mind... repeating that?"

Lunch was over, and they were back underground in Fathers Evil Lair (yes, Amity believed the place was cold, smelly, dark and creepy enough to be dubbed 'evil lair'). Envy had taken Amity to what was supposedly 'his' room. Apparently, whatever Envy was, they needed to sleep sometimes.

So, standing on the plain nightstand and huffing in annoyance, Amity repeated herself. "I said: I, Amity Spicket, solemnly vow from this day on and forever more, no matter what you may say, do or be, too eternally be your friend, and not sickness, pain or death will ever separate us."

...

...

...

"...Could you run that by me one more time?"

Sighing, the fairy parroted it once again, this time, saying every word very _very _slowly.

...

...

...

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Envy screeched, jumping back like he'd been burned and pointed a finger at her. "What makes you think I'd even _want _to be friends with you!?"

Not hurt even the in slightest by his comment, Amity replied. "I decided as your Replacement Conscience that having a friend would do you some good, and since you'd kill just about anyone else I would have picked, I thought I would be the best candidate." Amity grinned from ear to ear. "Besides, whether you want to be my friend or not is completely irrelevant, because you don't have to be my friend for me to be yours."

"...That might be the stupidest thing I'd ever heard come out of your mouth. And, considering it's _you_ we're talking about, that's saying something."

The fairy placed a hand on her hip. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." She sang, waving her bubblegum wrapper flower at him tauntingly.

"Have you ever had a dictionary thrown at you? Words hurt. Believe me."

Amity paused in mid wave, blinking. "You've... had a dictionary thrown at you before?"

"Yes, Lust did one time after we had an argument over the definition of 'zymosis', but that's besides the point!" He snapped, glowering at the thumb-sized girl. "I refuse to let you be my friend." He crossed his arms stubbornly.

The fairy stomped her foot, glaring back at him. "And what, pray tell, are you going to do about it?" She challenged, raising an eyebrow.

Anger sparked in his violet, cat-like eyes. He growled ferally, his right hand transforming into a blade as he raised it threateningly. "I'm going to-!"

"Envy, you're being immature." Interrupted a smooth, feminine voice.

"Lust!" Amity greeting with an enthusiastic wave as the lovely female sin entered the room. "Nice too see you, how've you been?" Asked the blunette cheerfully.

Lust, momentarily at a loss for words, nodded her head in greeting. "I'm... doing well." She spoke, sounding oddly uncertain.

Amity nodded, grinning from ear to ear. "Glad to hear it! I haven't seen you in a while and I was starting to get worried. Oh," She clasped her hands together. "And by the way I wanted to thank you for not letting Envy kill me _and_ for not actually spearing me with those fingernails of yours. I really appreciate it."

The busty female blinked, once again not knowing what so say, so instead chose to ignore the Conscience and turned to Envy. "Father wants to speak to you." Her gazed turned to the fairy, who was preparing to hop into the shape-shifters pocket. "_**Alone**_."

Envy grinned cheekily at the fairy, pointing a finger at her. "Hah!"

"B-But I have to go with Envy!" She yelped. "And-and I thought Father ordered him to babysit me!"

"I'll be taking over Envy's guard duty until he gets back." Lust informed tonelessly. "I'm sure you can survive without your 'eternal friend' for a few minutes."

"You heard that?!" The palm-tree haired homunculus shrieked, his cheeks turning red from either anger or embarrassment. Possibly both.

"Yes, and I think it's sweet of her to assume she can form a 'friendship' so easily. " The lustful sin cooed condescendingly.

Amity, unaware she was being mocked, replied cheerily. "Well, our relationship is still in the 'rocky' stage right now, but with a little effort and bonding time-"

"WHAT RELATIONSHIP!?" Envy screamed, making Amity and Lust each take a step backward. "There is no 'relationship' of any kind between us!"

"Who's in a relationship?"

Envy whirled on the newcomer, pointing a finger at him. "This isn't funny Wrath!"

The youngest homunculus stepped inside the room. "Father wishes to speak with you Envy. He said he sent Lust, be she didn't return, so he sent me to come find you instead."

Amity squealed fan-girlishly. "Wrath! Wow, that's such a great pirate name! Wrathbeard the Eye patch Pirate King! Terror of the Seven Seas! Yar!" She cried, her voice taking on a 'pirate' accent.

"...Pirate?" Lust asked.

"This young girl believes I... am a pirate." Answered Wrath, sounding torn between exasperated and amused.

"_WRATH. IS. NOT. A. PIRATE._" Envy hissed. "Plus, he doesn't even have a beard! It's a mustache!"

Amity gasped. "Oh, that could be the name of your ship!" She babbled. "_The Wrathful Mustache!_"

...

...

...

"Hey, what're you all laying on the ground for?" Amity asked as the entire group tipped over anime style.

"Do you even hear half of the things that come out of your mouth?" Envy asked, hopping back to his feet.

"What? It's a scary name! I certainly know _I _wouldn't want to be attacked by a Wrathful mustache... would _you?_" She replied, making a mustache on her upper lip with her finger.

Envy gestured to her with both hands, giving his siblings a pleading look. "_This _is what I've had to put up with for an entire week!"

The blunette frowned. "You're no walk in the park either, mister."

"At least I don't go around blathering about Wrathful Mustaches and pirates!"

"Oh, can I eat it?"

Lust sighed, turning to the next newcomer. "No Gluttony, you may not."

The pudgy sin pouted as he entered the room, giving Wrath's mustache a whimsical look. "But it looks so yummy..." Wrath took a large, yet inconspicuous step away from Gluttony, who sucked on his own chubby fingers innocently. "Father sent me here to tell Envy that Father wants too see him now."

"We know." Chorused Wrath, Lust and Envy.

"Envy would be there already... if he'd only admit that _the Wrathful Mustache _is a scary name!" Amity spoke, giving the palm-tree haired sin a scolding look.

"It isn't!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Cut it out, both of you. You sound like five year olds." Lust admonished, her beautiful facial features forming into a scowl.

"He started it!"

"She started it!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Gluttony, are you sure you don't want to eat her." Envy asked, gesturing to the little fairy, licking his lips temptingly.

"No! No! She smells funny!"

"Hey!" Amity protested, blushing. "It's not my fault they don't have fairy sized showers in your world! And I don't smell that bad!"

"Not bad smell! Just funny smell! Not human, not human!" Gluttony cried, covering his nose with his hands.

Wrath hummed thoughtfully. "Is it possible that Gluttony finds your smell displeasing because you're not human?"

"Gee, what gave you that clue Captain Obvious?" Envy asked sarcastically.

"See! He _is _a Captain!"

"He is _not_!"

"Though that would explain it. Gluttony eats just about everything else." Lust added.

"Eating... such a pain."

Everyone blinked, gawking at the next newcomer. "Sloth?"

Amity gasped, pointing too him. "You're like... the Godzilla of all Frankensteins!"

Envy turned to her, blinking several more times. "He's a what now?"

The massive, muscled out, zombie like sin entered the room. "Running here... is such a pain..."

"I thought you were supposed to be digging the tunnel?" Lust questioned, unhappy that Envy's tiny room was starting to get very overcrowded, leaving the sin a little squished.

"Pride told me... that Father said... to tell Envy... that Father wants... to talk to him." Sloth replied with a large yawn.

"I would be if some annoying little bug would stop pestering me." Envy hissed, glaring pointedly at the fairy.

"Don't blame me for your problems." Amity huffed, folding her arms and turning away from him.

"You _are _my problems!"

"Envy, don't you think you should be-"

"Not now Wrath!" Envy snapped.

"Oh! Lust, Lust! Sloth is sleeping, can I eat him?" Gluttony asked, tugging on Lust's dress like a child wanting to gain the attention of his mother.

Amity made a face, her complexion turning a pale shade of green. "You'd... you'd eat your own sibling?"

Lust sighed heavily. "No, you may not Gluttony. And it's not that surprising, Amity. He'll eat just about anything."

"Yeah... remember when he was first born and ate Greed's head? Oh, those were the days." Envy sighed happily, a far-off look in his eyes.

"He _ate _his head?!" Amity squeaked, covering her mouth in horror.

"It regenerated." Lust explained with a nonchalant wave of the hand.

"I wish it hadn't." The shape shifter pouted sadly. "Then we wouldn't have had to put up with the bastard for so long."

"Envy! You shouldn't swear! It's not nice!"

"Since when was I 'nice'?" Envy snapped back at the blunette, who was glowering at him.

"Well, it's never too late to start!"

"It's never too late to _not _start!"

"What are you arguing about?" Asked an annoyed Pride as he ducked under the sleeping Sloth's legs and entered the room.

"Things you never though possible." Supplied Lust, shaking her head.

"Like?"

"Wrathful Mustaches." Wrath replied.

...

...

...

"Wrathful...?"

"Mustaches, yes."

Pride blinked at his 'father' then looked back at Envy and Amity, who were still fighting over the perfect time and place to start being nice. "Father wishes to speak with you Envy." He spoke, his tone commanding.

"I'm a little busy here." The shape shifter took a deep breath. "Now listen here you little bug," He spoke to Amity. "I can not, will not be nice on a boat, I can not, will not, to a goat, I will not be nice in the rain, I will not be nice on a train. Not in the dark and not in a tree! Not in a car! Amity you let me be! I will not be nice in a box, I will not be nice to a fox. I will not be nice in a house, I will not be nice to a mouse. I will not be nice here or there, I will not be nice _anywhere_!" He took a deep breath. "I will not be nice at all, you see. I will not be nice on to you, Am-i-ty."

Amity sighed. " 'I do not like to be nice' So you say. But try it! Try it! And you may. Try it and you may I say!" She pleaded.

"I-No. NO. I am not playing word games with you." Envy growled.

The opened her mouth to argue but stopped, her mouth contouring into a sly smile. She turned away from the him, shrugging her shoulders. "I guess you wouldn't After all, I'll bet homunculi aren't very good at word games."

"Who said we weren't?" Pride demanded, his large ego unable to take such slander.

"Why else wouldn't you want to play?"

"Because it's childish, immature, juvenile?" Lust supplied, glaring at the fairy.

"That's just what you say so you don't have to do it. After all, you wouldn't be able to take _not _being good at word games, your pride as homunculi couldn't handle it." Amity spoke, hopping from her place on the nightstand over to a bookshelf, walking leisurely along it's edge and reading the various book titles.

"We're just as good at word games as any stinking human!" Envy yelled.

The Conscience's grin nearly split her face in two. "Then why don't you prove it?"

"How?" Wrath asked.

The grin still plastered on her face, Amity grabbed one of the very thin books that almost went unnoticed surrounded by the larger, thick ones. Using both of her arms, and all of the fairy strength, she managed to pull the book out, sending it crashing onto the floor. Envy bent over, picking up the mysterious book and reading it's title. "Fox in Socks?"

"That's a children's book." Lust scoffed before looking perplexed. "Envy... Why do you have a children's book in you room?"

Blushing, the homunculus replied. "It was... It was for when I had to go undercover as a child in Pride's class!"

Curious eyes turned toward the proud sin, who also was starting to turn a shade of pink. "It was for a good cause!" He defended.

"Like?"

"It's-It's none of your business!"

"So, are we going to play or not?" Amity asked, amused, but growing impatient.

The sins looked at each other uncertainly.

"Great! I'll start!" The fairy trilled, hopping onto Envy's shoulder before anyone could argue. "Fox, socks." She spoke, giving Envy a challenging stare.

Envy glowered back, accepting her challenge. "Knox, box."

Lust took the book from Envy's hands and sighed. "Knox in Box. Fox in socks."

"Knox on fox in sock in box." Wrath spoke, snatching the book from the female sin in the blink of an eye.

Shadow's creeped up from behind Wrath, stealing the children's book from his grip. "Socks on Knox and Knox in box." Pride said smugly.

"Fox in socks on box on Knox."

"Chicks with bricks come, Chicks with blocks come. Chicks with bricks and blocks and clocks come."

"Look, sir. Look, sir. Mr. Knox, sir. Let's do tricks with bricks and blocks, sir. Let's do tricks with chicks and clocks sir."

"First, I'll make a quick trick brick stack. Then I'll make a quick trick block stack."

"You can make a quick trick chick stack. You can make a quick trick block stack." The proud sin grinned.

Amity took a deep breath. "And here's a new trick, Mr. Knox... Socks on chicks and chicks on fox. Fox on clocks on bricks and blocks. Bricks and blocks on Knox on box."

Envy's eye twitched. "Now we come to ticks and tocks, sir. Try to say this, Mr. Knox, sir... Clocks on fox tick. Clocks on Knox tock. Six sick bricks tick. Six sick chicks tock."

"Please, sir. I don't like this trick, sir. My tongue isn't quick or slick, sir. I get all those ticks and clocks, sir, mixed up with the chicks and tocks, sir. I can't do it, Mr. Fox, sir." Lust groaned.

Wrath shook his head mournfully, patting her on the shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Knox sir."

Pride rolled his eyes. "Here's an easy game to play. Here's an easy thing to say. New socks, two socks. Whose socks? Sue's socks."

The blunette glared at the oldest sin. "Who sew whose socks? Sues sews Sue's socks."

Envy grinned wickedly. "Who sees who sew whose socks sir? You see Sue sew Sue's new socks, sir."

Lust raised a delicate eyebrow. "That's not easy, Mr. Fox, sir."

"Who comes?... Crow comes. Slow Joe Crow comes. Who sews crow's clothes? Sue sews crow's clothes. Slow Joe Crow sews whose clothes? Sues's clothes." Wrath spoke, smiling pleasantly at Pride.

The child-looking homunculus' face turned red, shadows swirling around behind him. "Sue sews socks of fox in socks now. Slow Joe Crow sews Knox in box now. Sue sews rose on Slow Joe Crow's clothes. Fox sews hose on Slow Joe Crow's nose. Hose goes. Rose grows. Nose hose goes some. Crow's rose grows some."

Amity held her head in her hands, falling too her knees, wailing. "Mr. Fox! I hate this game, sir. This game makes my tongue quiet lame, sir."

Envy sighed sadly. "Mr. Knox, sir, what a shame sir."

Lust held up her hand. "We'll find something new to do now. Here is lots of new blue goo now. New goo. Blue goo. Gooey. Gooey. Blue goo. New goo. Gluey. Gluey."

"Gooey goo for chewing chewing! That's what that Goo-Goose is doing. Do you choose to chew goo, too, sir? If, sir, you, sir, choose to chew, sir, with the Goo-Goose, chew sir, Do, sir." The youngest homunculus spoke.

Pride growled. "Mr. Fox, sir. I won't do it. I can't say it. I won't chew it."

The fairy shrugged her shoulders. "Very well, sir. Step this way. We'll find another game to play." She cackled evilly. "Bim comes. Ben Comes. Bim brings Ben broom. Ben brings Bim Broom."

The shape-shifter inhaled deeply. "Ben bends Bum's broom. Bim bends Ben's broom. Bim's bends. Ben's bends. Ben's bent broom breaks. Bim's bent broom breaks."

"Ben's band. Bim's band. Big bands. Pig bands. Bim and Ben lead bands with brooms. Ben's band bangs and Bim's bang booms." The female sin declared, making her fellow tongue-twister mates shudder with fear.

Wrath groaned. "Pig band! Boom band! Big band! Broom band! My poor mouth can't say that. No, sir. My poor mouth is much to slow, sir."

"Well then... bring your mouth this way. I'll find it something it can say." Pride offered. "Luke Luck likes lakes. Luke's duck likes lakes. Luke Luck licks lakes. Luke's duck licks lakes."

Beaming, Amity sang. "Duck takes licks in lakes Luke Luck likes. Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck likes."

Envy pulled his hair, shouting. "I can't blab such blibber blubber! My tongue isn't made of rubber!"

Lust sighed impatiently. "Mr. Knox. Now come now. Come now. You don't have to be so dumb now... Try to say this, Mr. Knox, please. Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew. While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze. Freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze. That's what made these three free fleas sneeze."

Wrath's eyebrow twitched. "Stop it! Stop it! That's enough, sir. I can't say such silly stuff, sir."

"Very well, then, Mr. Knox, sir. Let's have a little talk about tweetle beetles..." Pride spoke sadistically, making several of the people in the room gasp in horror. "What do you know about tweetle beetles? Well... When tweetle beetles fight, it's called a tweetle beetle battle. And when they battle in a puddle, it's a tweetle beetle puddly battle. And when tweetle beetles battle with paddles in a puddle, they call it a tweetle beetle puddle paddle battle."

Amity grinned. "_AND... _When beetles in battle beetles in a puddle paddle battle and the beetle battle puddle is a puddle in a bottle... they call this a tweetle beetle bottle puddle paddle battle muddle..."

"_AND..._" Envy added, giving Amity a smug look. "When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles... they call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle..._ AND..._"

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone in the room turned. Father stood in the doorway, looking disheveled and completely outraged. He walked into the room, his face going from furious to eerily calm. He stopped directly in front of Envy, who swallowed thickly. The golden haired man breathed heavily through the nose and the entire room froze when he parted his lips and spoke...

"Now wait a minute, Mr. Socks Fox! When a fox is in the bottle where the tweetle beetles battle with their paddles in a puddle on a noodle-eating poodle _**THIS **_is what they call... a tweetle beetle noodle poodle bottled paddled muddled duddled fuddled wuddled fox in sock, sir!" Turning and exiting the room, Father added. "Fox in socks, our game is done, sir. Thank you for a lot of fun, sir." While the room was in their dead silent stupor, Father added. "Now that your game is finished, Envy, I wish to see you in my chambers. _**Now.**_" And left without another word.

...

...

...

"Wow." Amity spoke, awestruck. "Just... wow."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Meanwhile, not too far away in a messy house, Dr. Knox was having the largest sneezing fit of his lifetime.

Sneezing loudly once more, the poor Doctor snuffled, wiping his nose with a tissue "I must be catching a cold..."

**.**

**.**

**.**

_Author's Note:_

_Thank you all for the reviews! Woo-hoo! I am now past the 40 mark now! *does happy dance*._

_I wonder if I went overboard with the Dr. Seuss reference in this chapter? Though, you have to admit, a bunch of baddie homunculi reciting Dr. Seuss stories is a hilarious thought xD._

_Although, this story isn't going to be all laughs, there will soon be more serious and sad things to come, so enjoy this goofy stuff while you can!_

_And, for the record, I do not own Fox in Socks or Green Eggs and Ham._

_*Ahem*, on that note, enjoy the bonus chapter!_

**.**

**.**

**.**

A Special Thanks to Reviewers Like You!

"Hello readers and welcome back to..._ the Void_! My name is Amity Spicket, and I'm-"

"AMITY!"

The fairy turned her head, watching as what looked to be a raging palm tree charging at her at high velocity. "Um... yes?" She asked uncertainly once the tree stopped in front of her, it's eyes blazing with blood-lust and revenge. She giggled, recognizing the figure. "Oh, Envy! It's you! How've you-"

"Do you know what happened to me the past week?!" He bellowed, grabbing her by the shoulders. It was then she noticed his disheveled appearance, and the lip-stick marks all over his body.

"Uh..."

"Fangirls... Rabid fangirls! This... this is all your fault!" He snarled, shaking her violently. "What you said before in the last review about the damn hugs! Do you have any idea what it's like to be nearly mauled to death by hugs!?"

Amity slowly shook her head.

"Well, it's not a pleasant experience!" He hissed, his eyes narrowing into slits.

...

...

...

"Envy, I hate to sound uncaring... But we have reviews to read." Amity said gently, so as to not hurt the homunculus' feelings.

His glare intensified. "..Fine. The sooner I get out of here, the better. But don't you _dare encourage_ any of my fangirls to hug me, kiss me, or touch me in any way, shape or form, understood?"

"M-hm. Now, lets get to those reviews!" Amity beamed, pulling out a stack of papers from thin air; the fairy cleared her throat and read.

_" Unhand me woman! Your're worse than my mother!"_

_HILARIOUS!_

_LOVE the bonus chapters, I literally smile and laugh when I read them._

_Oh Envy! You are getting a big head mister, you may have a lot of rabid fangirls that may want to hug you to death (myself included *bows head shamefully*), but arrogance is such an UGLY trait!_

_(sorry Pride!)_

_If you ever want to woo the ladies, you should be complementing them, not boasting about yourself!_

_~ iAnneart01_

"So glad you enjoy the bonus chapters!" The blunette laughed, while the homunculus scowled angrily behind her. "And don't worry about Envy. I think getting attacked by a bunch of hormonal teen girls knocked him down a few pegs."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Envy snapped, glaring ferociously at the fairy. "And who said I was trying to 'woo' anyone!?"

Amity shrugged her shoulders. "I think you'd be more tolerable if you'd quit bragging about yourself and tried complementing some one else for a change."

He snorted. "Like that'll ever happen."

"A girl can dream." She sighed. "Well, thanks for the review iAnneart01!" The fairy thanked with a small bow. "Now, let's read the next one!"

_"haha wrath a pirate haha great work!"_

_~ Neusuada _

"I still can't believe you think he's a pirate." Envy deadpanned, reading the review over her shoulder.

She narrowed his eyes at him."He _is _a pirate!" The fairy insisted. Before Envy could argue, Amity cut him off by reading the next review.

_"hahaha This chapter wase awesome_

_Yeah...Father does seem to be able to make such a nice color like gold and yellow seem pure evil._

_I liked Prides reaction to meeting Amity, and how he acted in the bonus chapter! Pride is awesome._

_WRATH IS A PIRATE CAPTAIN! HE NEEDS HIS SHIP! XD_

_Keep up the good work and keep being epic (That goes for Amity and all the homunculi too)"_

_~Ikarai_

"I never thought yellow could be evil until I met your father." Amity sighed sadly, shaking her head.

"... Okay, I'll admit it, Father does pull off the evil villain thing extraordinary well even with the yellow hair and eyes." The shape-shifter agreed.

Amity hummed, re-reading the review. "And I have mixed feelings about Pride... He's so _cute!_... But his shadow things creep me out..." Grinning, she added. "And I agree entirely! Wrath needs a pirate ship!"

"Enough with the pirates already! Sheesh."

"...Land lubber."

"Annoying fairy."

"Palm-tree haired jerk."

"Scrawny pain the neck."

"Neck scrawny in the pain."

Envy blinked. "...That makes no sense whatsoever."

She folded her arms, huffing. "Since when have I ever made sense?"

Sighing, the homunculus nodded. "Good point. Read the next review."

_"Yay! Bonus Chapter! And, Envy... I love torturing you like this. Come on, you're hot. Really. The fangirls of the world need some time to see you like this. Also, Amity, 10 points for the glomp._

_SADISTS FOR THE WIN!"_

_~ PaperHandy_

"Hah!" Amity crowed, victoriously pointing a finger at Envy. "I am now ten points in the lead!"

"... I am not keeping track of glomp points with you... I've never even glomped anyone before in my entire 172 years of life!"

The fairy grinned broadly. "That's why I'm winning~" She sang. Pausing, she re-read the review. "And you don't look hot... you look about medium temperature to me..."

"The reviewer didn't mean it like that." Envy grumbled, annoyed. "And why the heck do fangirls need time to see me like this?!"

Amity shrugged her shoulders and began reading the next review.

_"K: Hi, i'm back. Sorry for not reviewing the last chapter the second it was put up. My computer crashed and couldn't find time until now. :'(_

_N.R: Move it! *pushes me away* Envy is the awsomest villian i've ever heard of! :) Pride, if i were you i wouldn't complain about not getting reviews because the more reviews you get the longer you stay in 'the void'. *gl__omps__ Envy in death like bear hug* I will never let go!_

_K: I feel sorry for you E-bee, she's serious. Once she clinged onto me and wouldn't let go for a complete 12 hours. Even when she's asleep she has a vice like grip. My condolences. *dissapears*"_

_~ Kashagal and Natures Ruler_

"It can't be!" Envy gasped, jumping away from the review like it was about to bite him.

"What?" The blunette asked, looking between Envy and the review.

"N-Natures Ruler... Was... was one of the fans that... that glomped me..." He whispered fearfully.

Amity giggled. "Aw, that's sweet!"

"Sweet nothing! Amity! Natures Ruler wouldn't let go! Not even a pry bar could get that rabid fan off of me! It was awful! Awful!"

"Envy, you really _really _need to stop having these OOC moments." The fairy said, rubbing the homunculus on the back in an attempt to calm him down. When he didn't respond, she sighed. "Well Kashgal and Natures Ruler, thank you for the review... but try not to glomp him for so long next time... It's hard to work with a OOC partner, ya know? Also, love the nickname E-bee!"

"No more hugs... NO MORE!"

"Anyway... lets get to the next review!"

_"Oh my. It's been a while since I've looked forward so much to a fanfiction story update. It's been so busy for me that I don't have time to keep track of all the stories I've alerted. But seriously, when I check my email and see this story? I don't even care that I have two assignments to finish, and a presentation to plan. I read this. It always manages to cheer me up._

_Amity, is, like I said in my last review, a great character. Her interaction with the homunculus' is perfect. Calling Wrath a pirate? Oh, I laughed. And Envy! Feeding her cat food? Clever plan, but never would have expected Amity to like it, haha! Loved his reaction to that though._

_Envy is still perfect. Shouldn't say that though, huh, or his head will swell even more. Sorry Amity._

_And Pride! Glad to see his debut to the story. He is another of my favourite homunculus'. I always like the really bad ones. But good to know I'm not the only one, so I can't be that messed up, right?_

_The review bonus' at the end are really amusing as well. (Sorry Envy, but we're sadists, right?)_

_On another note, can't wait for Ed and Al to appear! Looking forward to more, and sorry for the long review. ;)"_

_~ SyncxArietta _

"Oh, don't worry about it, we love long reviews!" Amity gushed happily, reading it over again. "So glad that this story manages to cheer you up! And I'm glad you like my character and-" She stopped, blinking. "What's so clever about feeding me cat food... and why wouldn't I like it?"

"Only you would ask that." Envy replied, apparently over his OOC syndrome.

"Huh?"

"Never mind." He sighed heavily, reading the review. "And, yes, I am still perfect, and most likely always will be."

"Once again, your humility astounds me."

"Shut up."

"And of course, who could dislike Pride and Wrath the pirate. They're practically the best characters in the entire story!" She exclaimed, a far off look in her sparkling eyes.

"Excuse me?!" Envy growled, shooting the glittering fairy a nasty glare. "_I'm _the best character in the story. Is this fiction labeled under the characters Wrath and Pride? No. It's labeled under _Envy_."

Amity sighed, waving her hand. "Details details. Now, onward to our next review!"

_"Great chapter!"_

_~ Sky65_

"Glad you enjoyed it!"

"I'm not."

"You never are."

"True... very true..."

"...What am I doing here?"

"Wrathbeard!" Amity squealed, her sparkles returning at the sight of the newcomer.

Wrath blinked owlishly at the white void he now found himself in. "Where am I?"

"Ye be in _the Void _cap'n." The blunette spoke in a thick, pirate accent, making a hook with her index finger.

"Oh no." Envy groaned, slapping a hand over his eyes as blue sparkles began to roll off of Amity in waves. "At this rate, she'll outdo Armstrong in the sparkling department..."

"NONSENSE! SPARKLING HAS BEEN A SKILL PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS!"

"Armstrong?!" Envy choked, gawking shamelessly at the unexpected newcomer.

"Indeed!" Cried the muscled Major, ripping off his shirt and flexing his pecks, pink sparkles all around him.

"Wow..." Amity breathed in awe, watching the sparkles float about.

"Your majesty, King Fuhrer Bradly, what are you doing here?" Armstrong asked with a perplexed tilt of the head.

"At ease Major. I'm just here on a trip with my..." He looked uncertainly at Envy and Amity. "My... Wife's niece and nephew."

"Splendid!"

And a sparkly poof of smoke, the Major disappeared.

...

...

...

"Sh-Should I read the next review...?" Amity whispered to Envy.

"Please do... for the sake of my own sanity."

_"I absolutely Love your story! I haven't read a fanfic about an OC that was this good in a LONG time. I also Love Envy! And Pride! Update soon! :D"_

_~ Random Reviewer _

"So glad you like it!" Amity laughed. "And I'm sure Pride'll be happy to know he's been mentioned in so many reviews!"

"I have yet another fan." Envy boasted.

The fairy rolled her eyes, looking up at Wrath. "Ye seem to have many fans yerself cap'n Wrathbeard."

"...Are you going to gain a pirate accent every time you speak to me?"

"What accent cap'n?"

"... Never mind."

"Next review." Envy reminded, snapping Amity out of her admiring gaze upon Wrath.

"Right, right."

_"Rotflmao, "What is the point of this conversation?!" "You know, I don't recall..."_

_Am very slowly gaining a soft spot for Envy, even though I really REALLY don't want to... He killed Hughes. TTTT_

_but seriously, this is awesome. And yes Envy, we are sadistic for enjoying this. But you're sadistic too, so :P. It's part of our charm!"_

_~ Guest_

"...Who's Hughes...?" Amity asked.

The shape-shifted shrugged. "Who knows. But apparently, I'm going to get some pent up anger released pretty soon."

The fairy glared ferociously at the homunculus, cuffing him on the back of the head. "Jerk!"

"Ow... Amity! I haven't killed him yet!"

"You won't be killing him at all if I have my way about it!"

"What're you gonna to do? Outside _the Void _you're the size of my thumb!"

"Y-you big purgle faced... JERK!"

Wrath cleared his throat, turning to the audience. "I guess I'll wrap things up now. Review, or many of your loved ones may start 'disappearing'."

"That's not how you do it! You have to thank them first!" Amity yelled. Her legs were wrapped around Envy's torso, riding on his back in a painful looking piggy-back ride with one arm wrapped around his neck, and her other hand gripping a handful of his hair.

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!" Envy chanted, failing his arms madly.

"Ah, I see." Wrath spoke with a nod of the head. "Thank you all for the reviews. Fyuro appreciates all feedback she can get for her story. If you have any questions you'd like to ask, Envy and Amity will be more than happy to answer them."

"Will not!"

"Quiet!"

"Ow! Would you quit pulling my hair, woman?!"

"Also, if you have any ideas, critiques, or anything of that nature, feel free to drop the author a line." The eyepatched homunculus added. "Now, if you'll excuse me, my wife is making pot roast for dinner tonight and I don't want to be late." He smiled, giving a small wave. "So long." And disappeared in a plume of smoke.

...

...

...

"When we get back home, I am going to drop down on my knees and beg him to teach me how to do that..."

"Are you saying you don't like my company?!"

"Yes! Maybe! N-No! Amity! What're you-? No! Not the hair, not the hair! OW OW OW OW OW OOOOWWW!"

**.**

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**Review!**


	9. Bonus Chapter Part 01

The Horrors of Halloween

Part 1 of 2

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**.**

**WARNING:**

_**Crack, Possible OOCNESS, wacky and just plain disturbing things lurk within...**_

_**You have been warned.**_

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"Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars."

A great silence filled the room. Seven pairs of wide, disbelieving eyes looked toward the speaker, each one as utterly flabbergasted as the next.

"...What?" Pride dared venture, blinking owlishly at their creator.

"I said, bring me Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars." Father repeated.

Were it not for the fact the tone of his voice was to commanding, so serious and resolute, everyone was sure Father would have been joking. They all gawked a while longer, disbelief etching clearly into their faces.

"Cocoa Chocolate Pumpkin Almond Crispy Coconut Raspberry Nougat bars...?" Envy attempted to repeat, the name spilling roughly out of his mouth.

Father abruptly slammed his fist into the armrest of his chair, his eyes ablaze with a burning hot rage that none of the homunculi had never seen before in their creator. "Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars! Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars!" He roared, as if getting the name of the treat wrong was a blasphemous crime.

"Yes Father!" Envy squeaked, ducking behind Sloth, who looked like the best shield in the room.

"Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars," Father continued. "is a treat _only _given out on Halloween Night, and, has not been produced in over a hundred years due to... _certain circumstances_. Tonight is the first night in 103 years that these bars have been put back out onto the market. As your Father and creator, I command you all to bring as many Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars as you can lay your hands on to me."

"We're going... Trick or Treating?" Lust asked dubiously, not even bothering to hide the horrified look on her face.

"Yes."

"YES!" Amity cheered, hopping up into the air and pumping her fist. All eyes turned to her, widening in shock.

"Amity, you're... you're tall!" Envy exclaimed, pointing at the bouncing blunette

The fairy stopped dancing and blinked, looking down at herself. Indeed, she was no longer the size of Envy's thumb. She now stood her full 5'5" height. She turned several circles, taking in the strange phenomena.

"How is that possible?" Wrath inquired.

Grinning happily, the fairy replied with a shrug. "Magic Author Powers, what else?"

Envy growled dangerously, shaking his fist at the ceiling. "**Curse you Fyuro**!"

"Perfect. You're the right size to trick or treat as well." Father spoke, the only person besides Amity who appreciated the magic powers of the author. "More Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars for me. Now, go my minions! Retrieve my chocolates!" He bellowed, standing on his chair and pointing toward the door.

"I don't know about you, but if I had minions, I'd so want to say that." Amity whispered to Envy as they filed as quickly as possible out of the room.

"I can't believe we're doing this." He groaned, completely mortified.

Lust sighed sadly, hanging her head. "Orders are orders."

"We get to go trick or treating, we get to go trick or treating~" Amity sang happily, skipping alongside the other crestfallen homunculi. She clapped her hands together. "Oh, this is so exciting! I've never been trick or treating before!" She gushed, oblivious to the glares that were being sent her way. "This is going to be so much fun! We get to wear costumes and eat all that candy!"

"Candy!" Gluttony echoed happily, clapping his hands childishly.

"Such a pain..." Sloth groaned.

"My sentiments exactly." The shape-shifter spoke solemnly, giving his younger brother a pat on the back (well, as high up the back as he could reach, anyway).

Wrath, the ever dutiful, sighed. "I suppose we had better find some costumes."

Envy growled bitterly, turning the the blunette. "I blame _you_."

Amity shrugged her shoulders. "For some strange reason I cannot fathom, you always do."

**.**

**.**

**.**

"No."

"But Envy, it's adorable!"

"No."

"Aw, c'mon." Amity coaxed to the stubborn homunculus on the other side of the costume shop's dressing-room door.

"No!"

"Envy, it's the only costume they have left! You have to wear it!"

"Damn it all!" Envy roared, making some of the wig wearing mannequins in the display window topple over. "I hate Halloween! The only night of the year my powers _don't work_!"

The whole store was, in the opinion of the homunculi, completely looney. The _Baba Yama Rosa_was run by a not-so-sane woman named Rosa. Madame Rosa (as she insisted to be called) tended to elongate her vowels, and blamed everything in life on 'Fate'. She had wild, un-combed black hair, one blue eye and one green eye, each one looked in an opposite direction, which freaked Envy out to no means on end. And a rather large, crooked nose (which reminded Amity of Sidius).

The _Baba Yama Rosa _had a heavy, sickeningly sweet, pine scented fog that filled it's small quarters. The carpets were a deep red color, and the walls were a horrible shade of mustard yellow with painted black bats plastered all over. Various spider-webs, skulls, witches and stuffed black cats decorated the area. There were also many, many nude mannequins, symbolizing that most of the costumes had already been taken.

So, the sins were forced to pick from whatever was leftover.

"Ennnnvy!" Madame Rosa called dreamily. "Faaaate has deeeeemed it fit for you to wear that cooooostuuuume, so you muuuuust! You muuuuust!"

The shape shifter hissed murderously from within. "Tell 'Fate' to take it's brilliant ideas and stick them up it's-"

"Madame Rosa." Lust spoke, emerging from another changing room, allowing Gluttony entrance. "Are you sure you have _no _other costumes?" Amity had never heard that pleading tone in Lust's voice before. Though, she didn't understand why. Lust looked so cute with bunny ears and a little, white cotton tail! Sure, the skin tight, red swimsuit and fish-net leggings looked like they might be a little bit on the chilly side, but otherwise, amity thought the female sin looked adorable!

"Luuuuust." Madame spoke, patting the female sin on the back, making Lust cringe and wrinkle her nose in disgust. "You muuuuustn't question the haaaand of Faaaaate."

While Lust gave the woman another pleading look, Pride rolled his eyes, entering the second changing room that Gluttony just exited.

The chubby homunculus was dressed like a large, orange pumpkin; and in Amity's opinion, he played the part very well. Gluttony sucked on his thumb, staring at the old woman contemplatively. Amity had a feeling that if he asked to eat the poor Madame Rosa, the others would be more than glad to let him.

Sighing, the fairy decided to give up on Envy, and check on the homunculus in the third and last changing room. "How's it going in there?" Amity called, eager to change into her own costume.

"I fear your reaction." Was the human-based homunculus' muffled response.

She blinked several times as his reply processed through her brain. "My reaction?" She repeated, even more dumbfounded than before. "Why would you be afraid of my-O MY PURGLE!"

The exclamation drew everyone's eyes to the fairy, as the glomped Wrath, tears of joy streaming down her face. "You're right Madame Rosa, you're right! Fate did indeed chose these costumes!" The fairy sobbed happily.

Wrath sighed. He never had been a believer in karma, but now, he was starting to think otherwise. It seemed that the only costume available in his size... was a pirate outfit. Complete with fake talking parrot, hook hand, and giant captain's hat. Amity cried happily again, getting his red pirate coat soaking wet with her tears of pure, unadulterated bliss. Who knew one little girl could leak so much water?

"Amity, really. You need to let go now." Lust sighed in obvious annoyance, untangling the girls limbs from Wrath, releasing him from her death grip.

A high pitched, girly scream came from the changing room Pride just entered. "What is_ this_!?"

"Priiiide! Do not fiiiight the floooow of 'Faaaaate'!" Madame Rosa advised.

"I will not wear this! I _refuse _to wear this!" He roared. Amity gulped, fearing that whatever chances of survival Madame Rosa might have had, just plummeted to 'zero'.

"I can't be any worse than mine!" Envy retorted, still refusing to emerge from his own room.

Wrath cleared his throat. "Pride, it can't be that bad..." He attempted to reason.

"Do you remember what 'mother' made me wear last year for my classes costume party?" The oldest homunculus seethed venomously. Wrath's eye widened in horror. "Yeah. This is ten-times worse."

"What did he wear?" Amity asked eagerly, a mischievous grin on her lips.

Before Wrath could reply, shadows erupted out of the changing room like lava out of a volcano. The shadows teeth barred and it's many purple eyes narrowed dangerously at the youngest homunculus. Pride hissed "Tell her and _die_!" His multi-speaker voice boomed.

Wrath made a 'calm down' gesture with his hands and Amity took a nervous step backwards. "Okay, okay! I was just asking!" She attempted to ease the proud homunculus. "No need for all of... this." She gestured vaguely to the shadows. Oddly, Madame Rosa saw no reason to question or be afraid of the sudden phenomena, and went to go find things to create a make-shift costume for Sloth, who was to big to wear any of her left-over ones.

"Envy, if you don't come out, I'm coming in after you!" Lust threatened, banging on the changing room door with her fist.

"You'll never take me alive!" He yelled, a hint of hysteria in his tone.

The female narrowed her eyes at the closed door. "You have until the count of three."

"You _wouldn't_." Envy hissed.

"One..."

"I'm not coming, you old bat!"

Lust's expression darkened "Two." Before anyone could blink, she _kicked _the changing room door down, marching inside. Envy gave a girlish scream almost as convincing as Pride's.

"Oi! Oi! Whatever happened to 'three'!?" Envy yelled, squirming and writhing in Lust's grip as she drug him out by his hair. "Ow ow ow, the hair, the hair!"

"Oh ... my..." Lust said, blinking several times to take in Envy's outfit. Amity giggled, safely out of range from Envy's wrath. She'd already seen his costume, so she decided to let the others have their say about it.

"You're..." Wrath trailed, looking the shape-shifter up and down.

"Pinocchio." The Conscience supplied, a slightly evil smile playing on her lips.

The shape-shifter groaned, covering his eyes with his hand. Indeed, he was dressed like the Disney-fied version of Pinocchio. Short, red overalls, the beige shirt with sleeves that reached his elbows, the blue bow tied nearly under his chin, brown penny-loafers, white gloves... oh, and lets not forget the horribly dorky hat with a red feather in it.

Yes, Envy was a hairs breadth away from killing himself right then and there.

Amity, being the supportive eternal friend she was, attempted to reassure her partner with a smile. "I told you you looked cute!" The blue fairy beamed.

...

...

...

"That's it." The shape-shifter sighed, morphing his arm into a giant blade. "I'm just going to stab myself a couple thousand times and save myself from this insanity. Nice knowing you all... except you, Amity."

Amity shrugged her shoulders and the female sin rolled her eyes, cuffing him on the back of the head. "Quit being so melodramatic."

"It's not fair..." Envy lamented, hanging his head in shame. "What have I ever done to deserve this?"

"Living?" Pride suggested dryly from the safety of his own room.

The palm-tree haired homunculus glared murderously at the door. "Har-har-har. That was so funny, I forgot to laugh."

"Don't tease him too much, Pride." Lust advised, crossing her arms over her breasts. "We still haven't seen _your _costume yet."

"And you never will." Was the arrogant homunculus' quick reply.

Amity placed her hands on her hips and huffed in agitation. They were wasting precious trick-or-treating time with all this nonsense! Why did Pride have to behave like such a child? She stared at the door a little while longer before a conniving grin made it's way onto her face. The blunette walked up to the changing room the proud sin was in, bouncing back and forth on her toes. "OK, fine, you don't have to come out." She sighed.

"... I don't?" Pride asked, his tone suspicious.

"Nope." Pride said nothing, so she continued. "But I need to change." So, before the child-looking homunculus could say anything, Amity barged inside and closed the door behind her.

The fairy made no comment on Pride's costume and turned her back toward him. "No peaking." She teased. If she were to turn around, she would have seen the homunculus' eyes as wide as saucers, and his cheeks beet red as she began to undress...

For the second time that night, Pride shrieked like a little girl. The other homunculi, clueless as to what was happening inside, were shocked when their oldest sibling came barreling out of the changing room, his whole face as red as a ripe tomato. Before anyone could comment, he turned back toward the changing room, screaming. "There were other _unoccupied _changing rooms, you know!"

"I know, but I found myself unexplainably drawn to this one." Amity replied, her tone full of false wonder.

Pride's retort was cut short when Envy burst into peals of laughter. "O-oh man!" The envious sin chortled. "Y-you were right! Your-your costume..." He dissolved into snickers. "Your costume is way worse than mine!"

Pride the Arrogant, the most powerful and deadly homunculus of the seven. The deceitful, evil and treacherous sin who commanded the shadows and brought fear to the hearts of all...

... was Winnie the Pooh.

"Sh-shut up!" The young-looking homunculus demanded. His cheeks, if possible, turning an even deeper shade of red. He stomped his foot childishly. The shadows swirled behind him, nearly ready to rip the cackling shape-shifter to shreds.

"What d'you think?" Amity's voice chimed happily from behind Pride, stopping him before he could decapitate the Pinocchio impersonator.

She was dressed in a greyish blue, shiny top hat with a yellow band around the middle, a black suit coat with a long back and white collar, a pair of matching shorts, a light orange undershirt and light yellow tie. Her shoes were obviously fancy, dress up shoes, even though the first half of them were yellow and the other half of them were the same shade of blueish-gray as the hat. To complete the bizarre outfit, Amity also held a light red umbrella.

"What the hell are you suppose to be?" Envy asked rudely, raising an eyebrow at the strange site.

"Jiminy Cricket! He's Pinocchio's Conscience!"

His eye twitched irritably. "This is the authors lame idea of irony, isn't it?"

"Yup."

"CURSE YOU FYURO!"

Sloth lumbered into the room, guided by an eager Madame Rosa. She apparently had found some old Christmas decorations, and decorated the poor, lazy sin like a Christmas tree, blinking lights, green wreaths, and the star placed neatly atop his head.

"At least he'll be able to play the part well." Envy snorted, disgusted that his younger brother was too lazy to even put up a fight.

Wrath sighed, deciding that he desperately wanted to get out of here. Turning to the Madame and pulling his wallet out of his pirate coat, he asked. "How much for the costumes?"

Envy's mouth dropped open in shock. "We're going to _pay _her for making us look stupid!?"

Ignoring him, the Fuhrer asked again. Madame Rosa smiled angelically, though you could see the dollar signs light up in her eyes. "140,000 Sens."

Pride hissed, shadows once again swirling around the room. "How about we let you live instead?" Though, the threat did not have the same desired effect in a Winnie the Pooh suit. She gave the sin a contemplative, almost appraising, look.

...

...

...

"120,00 Sens."

**.**

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**.**

"I can't believe we let her live!" The palm-tree look-alike raged as their unusual group walked the Halloween decorated streets of Amestris.

"I know! You've all matured so much! There's hope for you yet!" Amity sang happily, taking Envy's words the entirely opposite way he meant them.

"Zip it cricket." The envious one huffed, folding his arms. "So, what's the plan to get those...you know..."

"Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars." Pride reminded bitterly, looking down at his own costume is disgust. "I suppose the best thing to do would be to split up to cover more ground."

"I call dibs on Wrathbeard!" The fairy yelled, raising her hand into the air.

"No." Lust deadpanned, giving the young girl a sideways glare. "You'll cause too much trouble." The fairy pouted slightly, but eventually nodded in agreement. "You, Envy ad Pride can take the West houses in central while Wrath, Gluttony and I take the East." Neither Pride or Envy looked particularly thrilled with the arrangement, but kept their mouths shut.

"And what will Sloth do?" Wrath asked, looking over his shoulder at the sleeping sin.

"He can... guard a lamppost, or something."

"It's 7 PM now. We only have several hours for trick-or-treating before everyone starts to go to bed." The arrogant homunculus observed.

"Right. We'll meet in the park by the fountain and 10 PM sharp." Lust ordered, blowing one of the bunny ears out of her eyes in obvious agitation.

Envy snorted. "Yeah yeah, lets just get this over with."

So the five sins and the Conscience set out into the night. A goal in mind and trick-or-treat baskets in hand, they believed that nothing could stop them from obtaining the sacred Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars.

Meanwhile, from the safety of her own room, the author chuckles ominously.

The poor fools had no idea what was coming.

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**.**

"Right?"

"Left."

"Left?'

"Right."

"Okay, then right."

"No! Left."

"But you said right!"

"I meant that you _were_right!"

"...But I'm Amity."

Envy roared, pounding his fist into the poor, unsuspecting brick wall. "It can't be humanly possible for you to be this _dense_!" He snapped, glaring daggers at the bushy blue head in front of him.

The fairy huffed, folding her arms and sticking her nose up in the air. "It's not my fault you give lousy directions. And you ought to feel guilty for calling me dense, by the way."

Pride felt a migraine forming in his head. Groaning, he began to massage his temples. Oh, how he wished he could silence both the fairy and his fellow brother permanently. But orders were orders, no matter how infuriating they may be. The homunculus almost laughed when Envy made a very tart comment about Amity's mother. Then, when fairy opened her mouth to express her outrage, a new voice interrupted the fight.

"Selim Bradley?"

Amity noticed Pride brighten considerably. No, it wasn't the fake persona of Selim that made him act cheery, it was honest-to-goodness happy. "Miss Monteith!" He chimed, his voice changing from creepy Pride to sweet Selim. A young woman, probably in her mid-twenties, approached the group. She was dressed-up like a cat, much to Amity's discomfort. Her auburn hair barely reached her shoulders, and her caramel-colored eyes shone happily in street lamps light. Then, homunculus' aura darkened considerably, once he saw that the woman was not alone. "Who's this?" He asked, his tone accusational.

The woman blinked twice before laughing, taking the strangers hand in her own (an act that made Pride stiffen considerably). "Oh, this is Steven Baker!" She introduced. The man was wearing a dog-costume and had messy brown hair and dark colored eyes. "We're old college buddies, and he offered to escort me to the Hallows End festival in the park."

As the mysterious woman and Pride fell into casual conversation, Amity leaned over towards Envy, whispering in his ear. "Who's she?"

The homunculus chuckled, a mischievous grin on his face, like he knew a really good secret he was just dieing to share. "That's Nancy Monteith, 'Selim Bradley's' teacher."

"...And?" She pried. There just had to be more to it than that by the look on Envy's face.

He grinned wider, putting an arm around Amity's shoulders and pulling her closer to whisper into her pointed ear, cupping his mouth with his hand. "Well, she's also Pride's little... _crush_."

Her mouth nearly hit the concrete. Pride... had a crush on his teacher?! Wow. Was it even possible for him to_ have _one? "Isn't she a little old for him?" The blunette whispered back.

"You forget, Pride's at least 450 years old."

"And how do you know he has a crush on her?" Amity asked.

"Well, earlier this year, he asked me to help him with a -get this- a poem! That's how I got a hold of those lame Dr. Seuss books." Amity blinked. That certainly was a very un-Pride like thing to do... in fact, it seemed like a very un-Envy like thing to do as well. "So, after he asked, I got him one of those books and he left. Curious, I followed, and you'll never guess what I saw! Pride _flirting _- well, attempting to anyway, he was doing an awful job at it-with a woman! Nancy Monteith, I later found out. Thankfully, like most humans, she's oblivious to all Pride's fraternizing attempts."

"...Was Father okay with it?" The fairy questioned.

"He doesn't know." Envy snickered.

"And you didn't tell him?"

His expression turned sour. "Well, I was going too, but Pride caught me spying and... well... he has a little bit of... blackmail he threatened to use if I tell... soooo..."

Amity's eyebrow rose. "... Is it okay for you to be telling me then?"

He gave a small, fake gasp of surprise. "But Amity, your my conscience! You ought to know these things!" He spoke with a sagely nod of the head.

"Then shouldn't you tell me what Pride is blackmailing you with then?"

"Hell no."

"Figured as much."

"So, who are your friends?" The object of Selim's affections spoke, looking over at the whispering Envy and Amity.

"Oh! I'm Amity Spicket!" Amity chirped, immediately pulling away from Envy so as not to look conspicuous. "And this is-" She froze. She couldn't say 'Envy', that might blow his cover! "is...is...**Ogilive Von Gopperbottom the Fourth**!"

...

...

...

"Wow..." Steven uttered, the first time he had actually spoken that night. Nancy elbowed him in the ribs, giving the man an admonishing look.

"My, what a... charming name." Miss Monteith finally spoke, albeit slowly, giving Envy a slightly pitying smile. No doubt feeling sorry for the 'poor boy who was given such an awful name by his parents'.

"It is, isn't it?" Selim spoke, struggling desperately not to break down into fits of laughter right then and there. It was times like this when he really, really appreciated Amity.

The Conscience grinned nervously, feeling the blood-lust radiating off of Envy like heat off of the sun. '_I'm going to die.'_

Clearing her throat awkwardly, Nancy spoke. " Well, have a nice day Selim, Miss Spicket, Mister... Gopperbottom. Tell your father I said hello." Giving a small wave as she and Steven walked away hand-in-hand. It wasn't until they were well out of ear-shot that Pride and Envy decided to speak.

"Did you see how that man was leeching onto her like a... a LEECH!?" He roared, kicking a small pebble in the direction the man left in. "It was sicking! You could practically see the perverted thoughts going on in his mind!"

"OGILIVE VON GOPPERBOTTOM!?" Envy roared, wheeling on Amity and making strangling motions with his hands. "What. the. hell?!"

"The Fourth..." She squeaked in correction. His glare intensified. "It was the only name I could think of on such short notice!" The fairy defended, blushing with embarrassment.

"The only name you could think of?! How about Joe Colson!? Or Bob Bentley!? Or James Hawthorn!? Luke Winslow! Matthew Jones! Winston Downham! John Eliot! Scott Smith! Eric Prince! Peter Fields! George Fisher! Jacob O'Donnell! Andrew Garner! Sean Pennifold! Thomas Porter! Ryan Patterson! Duke Astor! Fred Underhill! Michael King! Ian Fletcher! Louis Norman! Nicholas Schmidt! Herman Vincent! Frank Butcher!"

Amity opened her mouth, but quickly shut it again, having no real argument against that very impressive list of names Envy was able to conjure right off the top of his head. Instead she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and looking down at her shoes. "Can we just.. just go trick-or-treating now?" She grumbled, her cheeks tinted pink.

"Yes. Lets go... _Ogilive_."

"DAMN IT ALL!"

**.**

**.**

**.**

Lust never considered herself an impatient person.

"Lust, can I eat it?"

But curse-it-all, Gluttony was about to make her one.

"No Gluttony, you may not."

It was the 67th time she had told him that night. Though, she knew Gluttony never had never been known to have a long memory. Apparently, children dressed up in ludicrous costumes were very appetizing to her younger brother, for whatever reason that may be. When he asked once again if he could eat one rather fat child dressed as a slice of pizza, she nearly pulled her own hair out. "**No **Gluttony you **may not **eat the child."

"But he looks so yummy!"

Of course, his majesty King Fuhrer Bradly was doing absolutely _nothing_ to help_ 'Irresponsible! Completely irresponsible!'_ , besides candy collecting. They'd already trick-or-treated at all of the houses, and not a single one had Chocolate Nougat Coconut... somethingsomethingsomething bars. So, they had to start raiding _other _trick-or-treaters candy baskets. It wasn't the most entertaining thing Lust thought she could be doing at 9 PM, but she digressed.

"Lust, Lust! Can I eat _them_?" Gluttony asked, tugging at her dress.

"No." She replied abesentmindedly. Looking up, Lust was surprised to see six adults a dog and... a monster sized _ballerina_ approaching them.

"Fuhrer King Bradly." They all saluted, stopping in front of the Fuhrer. Lust could feel several of the men's eyes roam over her body. She suppressed the urge to strangle them..

"At ease." The Fuhrer laughed, falling flawlessly into his human persona. "I did think I'd see you here, Colonel Mustang. And trick-or-treating too."

Lust blinked, gaping shamelessly with horror. These costumed people were... Roy Mustang and his crew?!

Roy's cheeks tinted with pink. "Well, uh, this was Major Armstrong's idea, sir."

"Trick-or-treating has been a tradition in the Armstrong family for generations!" The large, pink ballerina crowed, flexing his pecks.

The female sin covered her hand with her mouth, certain she'd turned a pale shade of green. Oh sweet Leto, was Armstrong dressed in a pink tutu!? Of course, Roy and the others weren't much better off. The Flame Alchemist was Peter Pan, green tights and all. Riza Hawkeye was Tinkerbell. The dog had a small bandana with a feather sticking out of it (an Indian, perhaps? Those were in the Peter Pan stories) Kain Fuery was... Harry Potter? That's what it looked like, anyway. Breda was Ron Weasly, Falman was Voldemort... and poor Jean Havoc was... Hermonie Granger.

"That and Havoc lost a bet... So I couldn't resist." Mustang joked, giving his subordinate an evil grin.

"And I'm here to make sure the Colonel doesn't overdose on sugar." Riza joined in, her tone flat and serious.

"I won't!" Roy insisted, pouting like the boy he was dressed to be.

"Last time, sir, you overdosed on chocolate and nearly burned the house down."

"I was twelve!"

"And hyper and setting every flammable substance on fire."

"So, what's your name?" Havoc asked Lust, attempting to be suave, even in an embarrassingly bushy woman's wig.

"Solaris." Lust said, letting the name roll elegantly off her tongue. "And you?"

"J-Jean Havoc." He stuttered, his eyes not-so-secretly roaming over her chest before snapping his attention back up to her face. "So-um.. this may be a little sudden, but, would you like to... go out... sometime?"

'Go out sometime'? The idea was so ridiculous that Lust nearly laughed out loud. "Perhaps." She replied coyly, winking at the already blushing man, though every fiber of her being wanted to stab him in the chest repeatively.

"So, your excellency, what are you doing trick-or-treating?" Armstrong asked, pink sparkles floating about.

"I was here with my son, but he went off to trick-or-treat with my wife's niece and nephew." The Fuhrer explained. "Speaking of which, we're suppose to be meeting up with them now. If you'll excuse me gentlemen... and lady." He nodded his head at the group, before turning to Lust. "Shall we go, Miss Solaris?"

"Yes. Come Glut-Gilbert." She took the drooling pumpkin by the hand and lead him away from the group.

"It's costumes like those that make me feel not so bad about my own." Wrath spoke, looking over his shoulder at the disappearing backs of the Flame Alchemist's crew.

The female sin nodded her head in agreement. "I wonder how Envy, Pride and Amity are doing?"

"With Amity, it's bound to be something entertaining."

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Envy, did you know that the only reason I have blue and hair and eyes is because it's the authors favorite color?"

The envious homunculus suppressed a groan. If he ever found the person who thought it would be a brilliant idea to give Amity a book titled _101 Things You Didn't Know About Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking_ for a treat instead of candy, he would make sure they died a very slow and painful death.

"Hey, it says here that the reason my favorite color is orange is because orange is the complimentary color for blue! How cool is that?!"

Where has Pride wandered off to!? Surely he wouldn't have left Envy alone with Amity! Even he's not that cruel.

"Wow, did you know that Sidius was accidentally named after a Star Wars character? Or that _Hello! This is your Conscience Speaking _is suppose to be loosely based off of the movie Pinocchio? I suppose that explains why I'm always exclaiming things like 'Jiminy Cricket'. Oh, did you know that the fairy who gave Jiminy the title 'Conscience' is named the 'Blue Fairy'? I guess that also explains why I have blue hair and eyes." Amity was unaware that during her rant, Envy had gotten much farther ahead of her. "-and the author gave me the name 'Amity Spicket' to rhyme with 'Jiminy Cricket'. She later found out that 'Amity' means friendship and 'Spicket' is a term for faucet, so, my names sort of translates to 'something friendship flows out of' pretty appropriate for you eternal friend, huh? Or how about-"

Amity bumped into something large and _hard_. Knocking her off of her feet and onto her rear. The blunette groaned pitifully, rubbing her cranium that also made contact with the large, hard object.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

She blinked, looking at the strange, giant suit of armor that was.. blushing? Was that even scientifically possible? Shaking her head, she smiled. "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry _I _bumped into _you_." She grinned now. "You've gotta be pretty strong to walk around in armor as hard and heavy looking as that."

Yup, the suit of armor was definitely blushing. Amity stifled a giggle, he was just too cute! She marveled how the boy sounded a lot smaller than someone of that size. Clearing his throat awkwardly, the armored giant held out his hand, helping the Conscience to her feet. "I'm Alphonse Elric." He introduced.

"Amity Spicket, pleased to meet you." Amity chimed. It was so refreshing to meet someone who wasn't a homicidal maniac and had a perfectly functioning Conscience of his own.

Alphonse handed the blunette her dropped book, gently dusting the dirt off of the cover. The Conscience had a feeling that he was smiling underneath that armor. "Here you go, Miss Spicket."

Taking the item from him, she laughed. "Just 'Amity' is fine. And thanks." Looking behind him, she frowned. "Say, have you seen a girly-looking guy around? He has dark hair, looks slightly like a palm-tree and is dressed like Pinocchio. I'm his friend, and I think he lost me." '_On purpose or accident, I'm not sure.' _

He stared a moment, probably still trying to process her odd description, and even odder phrasing. "Um, no, I haven't seen anyone around like that... Oh, by the way, have you seen a blonde boy with gold eyes and a braid? He's pretty short-" He chuckled. "-he hates to be called that. He's got a pretty bad temper and he's dressed as a-"

"I'M A FREAKIN' DRAGON! NOT A FRILLY, PANSY UNICORN!" Screamed a voice that nearly made Amity jump out of her own skin. She edged closer to Al.

"GEEZE, CALM DOWN PIPSQUEAK! I WAS JUST SAYIN-"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL AND SHRIMPY AND PUNY THAT HE COULD BE CRUSHED BY A DUST-MITE!?"

"I DIDN'T EVEN _SAY _THAT!"

Amity blinked, recognizing the second persons voice. _'Oh no...' _She blanched. Envy + Hot tempered boy = Major disaster.

"Yeah... that's my brother." Alphonse chuckled nervously, rubbing that back of his neck.

"...And that's my friend he's having a shouting match with." Amity sighed, hanging her head.

"A babysitters work is never done, huh?"

"Amen to that, brother."

**.**

**.**

**.**

_To be continued..._

**.**

**.**

**.**

_Author's Note_

_Man, what started out as a small Halloween skit turning into such a monster of a story, I've had to split it up into two pieces! This Chapter alone is twenty two pages long!_

_And yes, I'm aware that this is a little late for Halloween, but I have a good reason! What is that reason, you ask? Well..._

_October 31st was my birthday! ^^_

_So, yes, this two piece bonus chapter is sort of a present to myself._

_Hope you guys enjoy it! I'm hoping to have part two uploaded in about a week, but I make no promises._

_Now, without further ado... I present the __**bonus **__bonus chapter!_

_All tips, comments and critiques are welcome if anyone is willing to offer it._

_I appreciate any help I can get with my writing :)_

_~Fyuro_

**.**

**.**

**.**

A Special Thanks to Reviewers Like You!

"...What was the point of this chapter? I mean, really, there's not even a plot!" Envy questioned from within the void, still dressed in his Pinocchio costume.

Amity, still dressed as the famous cricket conscience, shrugged her shoulders. "I think the author may have hit a snag with the next _real _chapter, which she is working on, by the way, and she's using this senseless comedy to unblock her writers block."

"...Hey, that almost made sense."

She frowned, looking over at her partner. "You sound surprised."

Envy snickered. "Well, you're not exactly know for making sense, sooooo..."

"How about we get to those reviews?" The fairy suggested irritably, shooting Envy a dirty look. The homunculus smirked, but made no protest, so she pulled out the stack of reviews from thin air, her eyes widening. "Oh my..."

"What?" Envy asked, eyes the stack like they might leap over and attempt to bite one of his limbs off.

"We... we... WE GOT 15 REVIEWS LAST CHAPTER!" Amity cried, tears of joy streaming down her face and sparkles filling the space around them. "I'm-I'm so happy..."

The palm-tree cursed when one particularly sparkling sparkle poked him in the eye. "Would you just read already?" He hissed, dodging another stray sparkle.

"O-okay..." She sniffed, wiping the moisture out of her eyes.

_"Father pwns all in word games XD_

_Amity! Y u keep Envy from going to Father? XD"_

_~ Ikarai_

"Well, it wasn't on purpose." Amity giggled, rubbing the back of her neck. "And yes, Father is the king of word games." She frowned. "But, you know what's been eating at me?"

Envy blinked, looking over at his replacement Conscience. "What?"

"How did Father know the ending of Fox in Socks?"

"..."

"..."

"Maybe he..."

"He could have..."

"..."

"..."

"I guess some things... are better off a mystery." Envy finally sighed.

"I guess so."

_"super cute! word games can get so emtertaining huh? I love that all of the humunculi family gets so into it :p_

_you go amity and sware eternal friendship. envy will sooner or later be grateful for it I'm sure :3_

_Now, I must glomp you you little sexy palm treeee! ! RUUN c:"_

_~iAnneart01 _

"I will never _ever _be grateful for her 'friendship' and what the hell is wrong with all these crazy teenagers!?" Envy yelled, noticeably taking a defensive stance behind Amity, like a fan-girl could pop-out any moment to glomp him.

"I thought you'd be happy so many people like you?"

"Like me? Yes. Glomp me? No."

"Though you've got to admit, word games are fun." Amity smiled, earning a glare from her partner. "Yeah, I didn't expect you too agree." She sighed.

_"My sister nearly died from laughter reeading this! You are truely an awesome writer!"_

_~ Neusuada_

"Don't encourage the author! Seriously! We need a danger sign or warning label or something on this story, you know, like 'Beware of Dog' or 'Don't Feed the Lions'?"

The blunette rolled her eyes, ignoring her partner. "Thank you very much Neusuada! We're glad to know we can provide you with an entertaining and enjoyable experience."

"What are you, a cruise director?" Envy huffed.

"I'm trying to be nice!"

"See, that's your problem..."

"Oh and Fyuro thanks you very much for the kind words on her amateur writing skills."

"Don't ignore me!"

"Onward to the next review!"

"You're still ignoring me!"

_"YaY another chapter :) and just for the fun of it imma glomp you envy but dont worry it will be for only a couple of seconds because i can never bring myself so low to turn into..into a..fangirl*creepy shivers* i could never stoop so low. and you should feel special you get extra glomping points cause im from another dimention* appears out of now where jumps off a kangaroo wearing a mexican poncho, pirate hat with a katana on my back and glomps envy*"haha you wouldnt believe how long it took me to get here, and i even saw a pirate ship..haha. hi amitty. *deglomps from envy* by envy, by amitty. kelly out".*two finger solute and suddenly dissapears*_

_kelly ;)"_

_~ xXFallen-Angel-Of-DarknessXx _

Envy blinked once. Then twice. "Wha-?"

Suddenly, a portal opened up within the void, and out hopped a kangaroo. Riding on this Australian marsupial was a girl wearing a Mexican poncho, a pirate hat, with a katana strapped on her back. Before Envy or Amity could even process what was happening, the girl flung herself at the homunculus, glomping him so hard a few of his ribs cracked. "Haha, you wouldn't believe how long it took me to get here, and I even saw a pirate ship!" She laughed again, releasing Envy and turning to Amity. "Hi Amity!" She called cheerily. Amity waved enthusiastically back. The strange girl took a large step backward. "Bye Envy, Bye Amity! Kelly out." She gave a two-finger salute, hopped back on her kangaroo, and vanished without a trace.

...

...

...

"That. was. _AWSOME_! Let's do it again!" Amity cried, her eyes lit up with some crazed joy that made shivers run up Envy's spine.

"No."

"But-"

"You were not the one who got glomped by some stranger wearing a poncho and a pirate hat, okay? So NO."

Amity pouted. "You're no fun."

_"Holy Poptarts. O_O_

_Father is not a noob at word games..._

_Envy, I really wanna glomp you, but I won't for fear of becoming a fan-girl._

_Amity, keep swearing eternal friendship to Envy. I bet he'll appreciate it some day._

_Great chapter, as always!_

_Update soon! :D"_

_~Random Reviewer_

"Thank you..." Envy sobbed. "Thank you for not glomping me..."

Amity smacked him on the back of the head. "Envy, you're acting OOC again."

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Right. And, once again, I will _never _appreciate the eternal friendship... **ever**."

The Conscience grinned. "I'm glad so many people are encouraging me! Worry not readers! I shall never give up!"

Groaning, Envy ran a hand down his face. "Why me...?"

_"Brilliance. Utter brilliance. "No! Not the hair, not the hair!" Lawl, I can't get over this."_

_~PaperHandy453_

"My hair is very sensitive, I'll have you know." Envy grumbled, gently fingering his dark-green locks.

"Glad you enjoy the story. And I'm keeping the hair trick in mind for a later day." Amity grinned evilly.

The homunculus gulped. "Aw sh-"

"Next review!"

_"N.R: *evil aura, devil voice* You will be mine Envy, MINE! *Chases after but is shot with a tranquilizer, falls*_

_K: I'm so sorry for her rude behavior. I give you guys these apoligy chocolates for last time, *gives chocolates* She hasn't been the same since she got lost in the woods on her way home a few days ago. I curse doctor Seuss, i can't read a single book of his without getting a headache, but green eggs and ham is my favorite. Keep up the good work! Good luck Amity! Have fun with the she devil Envy! *dissapears with N.R still in the Void*"_

_~ Kashagal and Natures Ruler_

"You take _it _back!" Envy hissed, pointing at the passed out N.R on the void's 'floor'. Growling, he nudged at her with his foot. "Amity! Help me get rid of... _it_." He hissed.

"Sorry Envy, I'm too busy eating apology chocolates." Amity sighed happily, popping another piece into her mouth. "This is almost as good as cat-food!"

"Get over here and help me you lazy little excuse for a conscience!"

The fairy took a deep breath, looking down at the passed out N.R. "I guess I'll help. Truth charges an arm and a leg for rent here, you know. I'm barely making enough cookies to keep him satistfied as it is."

So, whipping out a box from thin air, the two barely managed to shove Natures Ruler into the cardboard container/ Amity was kind enough the wrap the girl in protective bubble-wrap and poke airholes into the box before sealing it shut. Envy covered the thing in stamps, and wrote 'Return to Kashgal' in neat, but large letters, then chucked the entire package into an open portal.

"Think she'll be okay?" Amity asked worriedly.

"Who cares? She nearly glomped me to death, she deserves it."

Owlsweety

_"(Too-slothful to login (again :/)_

_Sail away, across the bay_

_And we're on our journey's way_

_Sail away, across the bay_

_Forever we'll be free!_

_Sail away, across the sea_

_The moon is full and so are we_

_Seven drunken pirates_

_We're the seven deadly sins!_

_Hi again!_

_Sorry for not reviewing the last chapter, I was so busy! (I KNOW THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE IM SO SORRY ;_;)_

_(reads last bonus chapter) ..._

_*blushes hard* o-oh...rabid Fangirls have been hugging, kissing and...*blushes even harder* Touching...Envy?_

_(rabid Fangirls surround me with pressure)_

_O-oh! Well! (claps hands) I'll only risk death and hug/kiss/touch Envy if he does it first! (weeps with relief) which he never will! thank you, Envy, for sparing me and my innocence!_

_Yay! Pride! :D I love you Pride! You're so awesome, it's like you're my BFF! (clears throat) er, not that I could ever be as awesome to be yours..._

_Amity, big question: exactly how rare is light brown hair in your world?...because I have a lot of it...enough to reach to my lower back..._

_Nya, great story! Please continue, I promise I'll review next time!_

_And, what else?...oh yeah! My fingernails glow in the dark! :D er, random..._

_*I am Owl and I approve of this message*_

_-Owl"_

_~Owlsweety_

"Woo-hoo! Long review!" Amity cried, beaming from ear to ear. "I love those! And Pride, indeed, is cool... except when he's wearing a Winnie the Pooh costume, then he's just adorable!"

"I hate to admit it... but the song is kind-of catchy." Envy spoke, cocking his head to the side. "And don't worry about it. Your innocence is spared."

The fairy giggled. "And to answer your question, light brown hair is the third rarest color of hair in my world. So, you'd be the envy of all the Conscience's back home!... Including myself. The order of rarity from rarest to most common is: Medium brown, dark brown, light brown, black, blonde/gold, white, gray, red, green, purple, pink, orange, and... blue."

"So, in other words, you're pretty average back home." Envy snickered condescendingly.

The Conscience's face flushed red. "You're pretty common too, mister palm-tree head." Pausing for a moment, she added. "And glow-in-the-dark fingernails are awesome! Seriously, I didn't know such a thing existed!"

"I admit, I'm interested as well..." Envy mused, looking at his own fingernails.

"Thank you Owlsweety! Next review!"

_"OMG! I love how creative and original this story is!_

_I've always felt bad for Envy, yeah he a psychotic sociopath, but underneath he's probably so lonely... :(_

_Awesome story, please continue!"_

_~ Saya_

"... I am not lonely." Envy pouted childishly, crossing his arms and sulking in the 'emo' corner..

"Uh-huh." Amity spoke, giving her eternal friend a look that clearly showed she wasn't buying it. "Whatever you say, Envy. I'm glad you love the story so far, Saya! I know the author was worried when she first started writing that this story might have been a little 'too' creative... in a bad way. So your input really means a lot!"

_"Woah...Trippy chapter._

_Envy...I feel so conficted with you. First off, you murdered an innocent child to start a civil war to make Philosopher's Stone. But you are a total badass character too. I guess your already huge ego is about to inflate, but you are one of my favorite character in both this fanfic and the manga. So I guess that I'm a huge fan, despite your evil ways. Here's hoping Amity can help you out! But because I feel sorry for you here* Tosses Envy a roll of duct tape* Ever heard the expression "Silence is Golden"? Well, they've modernized it: "Silence is Golden, but Duct Tape is Silver." I'll let you figure out what it is for._

_Also, I understand that you and your "family" are human forms of the seven sins. But are there also human forms of the seven virtues, like Charity and Kindness. If so, have you met your counterpart (Kindness) and hate her?_

_Amity, you ae so adorable. HAHAHA! Wrath's a pirate! But why were you eating cat food? 0.o Make Envy a reformed character!_

_Pride: Alright, you are a totally evil little boy, but you are awesome. How many little kids say they're a reborn sin that has the ability to attck through shadows? ...Yeah, not that many. Hopefully, you guys keep this fanfic going._

_Truth: You are a jerk and all, but your a damn good neutral character. And here's a cookie, chocolate chip."_

_~ WhiteOwl74_

"Alright! Another big review!" The fairy cheered, punching the air with her fist. "Conflicted... yes, I admit I have conflicted feelings about Envy as well..."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here." He grumbled, reading the review over Amity's shoulder. "...'Silence is Golden, but Duct Tape is Silver'...?" Then, as if those were the magic words, a large roll of silver duct tape fell from the ceiling, and into Envy's hands. He stared at it for a moment until he put all the pieces together in his head; a demonic grin nearly split his face in two. "Oh, I'm going to enjoy this _a lot_."

Amity gulped, taking a wary step away from her partner, who was staring at the duct tape like it as his long lost lover. "I am afraid...Very very afraid..." Humming, she read the review again. "Don't worry! I'll reform Envy if it the last thing He -or I- do!"

"And I'm pretty sure there aren't any human forms of the virtues in this story." Envy added. "Though, I suppose Amity comes pretty close to being 'Kindness'. And yes, if I ever met my opposite, I would most likely hate his/her guts."

"I'm adorable!" The fairy cheered happily. "Yes, Pride is evil, but awesome. Truth is a jerk, and I'm sure he appreciates the cookie."

"Why does only Truth get a cookie?" The homunculus asked, sulking.

Amity shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe you could exchange your duct tape for a cookie."

The evil grin returned. "No way."

"Darn!"

_"Holy Christmas nuts. Poor Envy, hope you recover from the fangirl attack. I was not part of it, but if I was, you would have been whacked in the head with a mallet by Marion (Long story)._

_But back to Envy. You are dastardly! And what was with all the rythming in this chapter? You STOLE that paragraph from Dr. Seues! Shame on you Envy! But are you touched that Amity is trying to be your friend? Do you know what will happen to her if she can't reform you?_

_I can also not wait for Al and Ed to make a sceen! Also...When will Barry the Chopper show up? He's also cool, the manga version not the 2003 anime, he dressed like a woman!_

_Hey Wrath? I have a question. Does your wife know your a homolicus?_

_Amity, keep on trying! I'm sure you can get SOME sort of emotion out of him, eventually...Good luck though._

_I hope Pride shows up again!_

_And I get that Gluttony doesn't want to eat Amity because she isn't human, but what repells him so much?"_

_~ WhiteOwl74 _

"Yes! Another long review... yet again from WhiteOwl74!"

"MWAHAHAHA! Yes! I am the dastardly sin, Envy! Stealer of Dr. Seuss rhymes!" Envy cackled madly, lighting striking around him.

"Envy! **Envy**! Snap out of it!"

He blinked several times, rubbing his head. "Sorry... this Pinocchio costume messes with my head... And no, I have no idea what'll happen to Amity if she doesn't reform me, and I honestly don't care, nor am I touched in the slightest that she wants to be my friend."

The fairy frowned a little at his harsh words. "Well, it doesn't matter." She huffed, crossing her arms. "Either way, I'm still going to be your friend, whether you like it or not."

"And why is everyone eager to see the Fullmetal Pipsqueak?" The envious homunculus growled. "He's not that great..."

"Barry the Chopper sounds like someone in a motorcycle gang." Amity mused, tapping her cheek with her index finger. "I think Fyuro mentioned me meeting him at some point... but she never gave an exact time or date..."

"Barry the Chopper... Barry the Chopper... Why does that sound so familiar?" Envy wondered out-loud. "For some reason, the only thing that comes to mind is rump-roast and bacon..." He frowned. "And we can't ask Wrath about his wife, since he's not here..."

At that instant, there was a loud pop and a poof of smoke. It slowly cleared, making Amity squeal fan-girlishly at the sight of the newcomer. "Wrathbeard!"

"Wrath!?" Envy squeaked, unable to believe his own eyes.

"I believe you have a question for me?" He asked coolly.

"Uh-um, does you wife know your a homunculus?" Envy stuttered, still in shock.

"No, she doesn't. Information like that could jeopardize our mission entirely." He looked between Envy and the sparkling Amity. "Is that all?"

"Uh... yeah."

And with a poof, he was gone.

"Wait! Take me with yooooouuuu!" Envy cried, falling to his knees, his hand outstretched to where Wrath disappeared.

"Lust was right, you really are mellow-dramatic..."

"Said the pot to the kettle."

"I'm not a pot... and your not a kettle."

"That's not-You know, I'm not even going to try." Envy sighed, standing and shaking his head in remorse.

The fairy frowned slightly, re-reading the review. "Well, I can get some emotions out of Envy... but those are usually agitation and anger... And I have no idea why Gluttony dislikes my smell so much. But, as I said before, I'm not complaining. Now, lets move on to the next review!"

_":3 hey! 3 tell me, was it Bc of me that everyone started hugging envy? Bc if it is... YEAH! I hugged him first! XD I'm soooo happy! *hugs envy and nv lets go* *anime tears* Envy ROCKS! Long live envy! :3"_

_~Chenchar_

"If it was you who was responsible for everyone hugging me, I swear to whatever deity out there that I will hunt you down and sick Kimbley on you..."

"Envy! Be nice!" Amity scolded. "We don't want to scare the reviewers away!"

"I do!"

_"Oh! And luv the story! 3 plz! Write the next one!"_

_~Chenchar_

"Thank you for both reviews!" Amity thanked, holding Envy by the hair.

"Why does everyone feel the need to pull my beautiful hair!?" He roared, attempting to squirm out of the fairy's grasp. Amity released him, but only so she could read the next review.

_"I'm dying. I was bored and your story looked entertaining. It wasn't. It was freaking hilarious. Envy the gender cofused palmtree, pirates, throwing Dictionary's, word games... I'm laughing so hard right now. I can't wait for more (seriously I read all of this in about 30 miniuts I NEED MORE!) Keep up the hilarious work. (And yes Envy, I will admit I am a sadist. :D"_

_~ IridescentCat_

"We're glad you're enjoying it so much!" The pointy-eared girl laughed. "A lot of crazy things have happened, huh? Hopefully you'll find this chapter satisfactory as well."

"And yes, you are an honorary sadist." Envy spoke with a nod of the head. "Seriously, I think we may need to start a club."

Amity snorted. "Yes. And You and Pride could be the presidents. Now, on to our final review!"

_"Call me sadistic, but I love this story :)_

_Amity has to be one of my favorite OC character, ever! Sorry to bring it up, but that bra scene made me laugh so hard! XD_

_Thank you for making Envy is in character. I love his personality! :D I was upset that he killed Hughes but couldn't bring myself to hate him..._

_Sadistic, remember?_

_But Amity, you should seriously try to stop Envy from killing him! I'm counting on you!_

_Can't wait for Amity to meet Ed and Al! Will they even be able to see her? I hope so!_

_Anyways! Update as soon as you possible can! :D_

_Scarlet_

_P.S. When the homunculi began to recite Dr. Seuss I almost died of laughter! Too funny! XD"_

_~ScarletNinja1026 _

"I'm a favorite OC character!" The fairy sang, twirling in a circle.

"Now who was an over-inflated ego?" Envy sneered. "Maybe this will bring you back down to earth... _the bra scene_."

Amity froze, her cheeks turning bright red. "Why can't everyone just forget about that?!" She hissed.

"All the people who read this story are sadists, remember?"

"I'm really starting to feel sorry for this Hughes person..." The Conscience sighed. "Don't worry readers! I will stop Envy from killing him, even if it costs me my life!"

"You're just encouraging me to go find him now, you know." He grinned.

"Ed and Al certainly are popular characters. Everyone wants me to meet them." Amity pointed out. "I wonder if they'll be able to see me?"

'"For their sake, let's hope not." Envy snickered. "Now since that was the last review... hey... HEY! Where's my duct tape!?"

"Oh, _that_?" Amity asked innocently. "I traded it for some magic beans!" She announced, proudly showing Envy three beans in the palm of her hand. "I'm thinking about naming this one 'Edward Elric'." She pointed to the smallest bean. "And this is Fred and this is Barney."

Envy's eye twitched, his fist clenching. "You... you traded my _precious_ duct tape... for... for some MAGIC BEANS!?"

"Well, I didn't think it'd be a good idea to let you lose into society with something as dangerous as duct tape, so-Envy, why are you morphing you hand into a giant hammer?... Envy, quit grinning!... Envy? Envy!? AAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!"

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**Stay Tuned for Part 02!**

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**Review!**


	10. Bonus Chapter Part 02

The Horrors of Halloween

Part 2 of 2

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**WARNING:**

_**Crack, Possible OOCNESS, wacky and just plain disturbing things lurk within...**_

_**You have been warned.**_

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Amity had been expecting many things when she rounded the corner with Alphonse; following the screeching voices of their uncooperative partners. But one thing she _hadn't _been expecting to see was a pink unicorn and a Pinocchio impersonator knocked unconscious on the ground, giant bumps forming on their heads and small pools of blood forming around them.

"W-Winry!" Alphonse stuttered.

Standing over the bodies of the two boys was a young girl, probably not much older than Amity. She had long, pale gold hair and fair skin. Her eyes were almost the exact shade of blue as the young fairy's. She was dressed in a princess gown and tiara... and held a blood covered wrench in her right hand.

"Oh, Alphonse! There you are!" The young girl called cheerily, smiling innocently at the two. "Ed and I thought we lost you! ...Who's your friend?"

Amity blinked. Was it possible for someone so cheerful to have cause so much damage?

"Oh, this is Amity Spicket." Al kindly introduced. The blunette wondered if things like this happened on a regular basis, since Alphonse was so casual about the whole thing. She mentally sighed; perhaps she was destined to only be friends with homicidal maniacs and murderers?

Winry smiled, walking up to the slight startled Conscience and holding her hand out. "Nice to meet you Amity. I'm Winry Rockbell."

Amity stared cautiously at the girl's small, delicate looking hand before taking and shaking it. A small grin slowly made its way onto her face. Winry seemed friendly enough. "It's nice to meet you too."

A pitiful groan came from the ground. "What the hell...?" Envy grumbled, slowly sitting up and rubbing his head.

"Ow... Winry, what'cha do that for?" The other boy slurred, casting the blonde girl a slightly disoriented glare.

"You shouldn't pick on other trick-or-treaters Ed! ... And I'm sorry I caught you in the ricochet, Mister...?"

"Ogilive Von Gopperbottom the Fourth." Amity supplied instantly.

Envy's eyes widened horror before narrowing into deadly slits, he opened his mouth to retort, but Edward's chortling beat him to it.

"O-oh man!" Ed cackled, slapping his knee. "N-No wonder you've got issues!" He laughed, nearly writhing in mirth on the pavement.

"S-Shut up!" Envy roared, a blush forming on his face. When Edward didn't comply, the shape shifter pounced him, holding the struggling blonde in a head-lock. Ed grabbed a fistful of the homunculus' hair, yanking down on it hard and making the shape shifter cry out in pain and outrage. "Let go of my hair you twerp!"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT A SNEEZE COULD BLOW HIM ALL THE WAY TO XING!?"

"Ogilive Von Gopperbottom the Fourth! Release that unicorn right this minute!" The Conscience yelled, giving the rogue homunculus the most scathing look she could muster.

"I'M A DRAGON, DAMNIT!"

"Brother! Calm down!" Al ordered from beside her. Though Amity could not see his face, she knew he was giving the blonde boy a look just as scolding as her own.

"Ed, listen to your brother! ...Don't make me use the wrench again!"

Both Envy and Ed froze at those words, giving each other mirrored looks of horror.

"...Ogilive?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"What say you we call a truce?"

"That sounds like a splendid idea, old chap."

They both rose to their feet, shaking hands. "But once she's gone, we'll settle this _properly_." Envy hissed quietly, grinning demonically while squeezing Ed's hand extra tightly.

With an equally evil grin, the blonde boy increased his grip on the homunculus' hand and replied. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

"What are you two whispering about?!" Amity and Winry demanded, each looking as fierce as the next.

"Nothing~" Envy sang. The blunette glared at him in obvious disbelief, but made no comment.

"...So, are you here to trick-or-treat as well?" Alphonse asked conversationally, helping his brother to his feet while attempting to break the period of awkward silence that fell upon the group.

"No, we enjoy walking the streets at night dress as fictional characters, it's our hobby." The homunculus snorted sarcastically, refusing the helping hand Amity offered him and standing on his own. His comment earning an elbow in the ribs from his partner.

"Be nice." She scolded before turning back toward the group and offering them a slightly apologetic smile. "Yeah, we were here with, uh, _Ogilive's_ younger brother, but we lost him..." She trailed off into thought. _'I wonder where Pride wandered off to anyway.'_

"...A little boy? About_ this _tall with dark hair and hark eyes? Kinda creepy acting and wearing a Winnie the Pooh costume?" Winry asked, making a measurement between the ground and her hand the close to the same height as Selim.

"That sounds like him!" Amity exclaimed. "Where was he?"

"He was headed toward the park, last I saw." Answered the blonde girl, smiling. "If you hurry, you might be able to catch up with him."

"Thanks!" The blunette said, grabbing Envy by the hand and dragging him off down the road, making the homunculus have to sprint to keep up with the fairy's face pace.

Winry, Alphonse and Ed watched the two strange people disappear into the darkness.

"Well, that was..."

"Bizarre." Edward finished flatly for his younger brother.

Winry chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of her head as the trio started walking. "Think we'll see them at the Hallows End festival tonight?"

The Fullmetal Alchemist grimaced. "I hope not."

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Envy wanted to die.

"Did you know that Fyuro is currently working on over 15 stories in all sorts of different animes, video games and book series? And that most of these stories she hasn't posted?"

Oh how he really, really wished he could die.

"...and that the reason I'm so fast and can jump so high, is because my character was originally cricket based! Wow, and it says here-"

Preferably a quick and painless death. Unlike the death he envisioned for Amity, no, her death would be painful and slow... very very slow.

"... and even though you're only the author's third favorite character, you're her favorite character to write about! And-"

Slow and... Wait... what?

...

...

...

_WHAT!?_

"What do you mean I'm her _third favorite _character?!" Envy hissed, wheeling on the unsuspecting fairy behind him.

Amity froze on the spot, her eyes doubling in size at the realization of her grievous error. This was Envy the Jealous she was talking too, after all. He wouldn't take being the third favorite lightly. Slowly, she brought the open book higher, so only her eyes could be seen, almost as if she was trying to shield herself from the enraged sin. "Um... well... You're her favorite to _write_ about..."

"That only means I'm her favorite one to torture!" Envy shrieked, making the blunette wince. "Who. is. in. first. place." The homunculus growled lowly.

The fairy took a hesitant step backwards when Envy moved closer. "E-Edward Elric...?" She squeaked.

"**The Fullmetal **_**Pipsqueak**_!?" He roared, advancing on her.

"But you're her favorite to write about!" Amity pleaded once more, ducking even lower behind her large book and stumbling back even more.

"If she's going to harass me, the least the she could do is make me her favorite!"

"But you're her favorite to-!"

The rest of her words were drowned out by two loud gunshots. "Roy Mustang, you get back here this minute!"

Streaking past them in nothing but boxer-shorts which were adorned with bright red letters on the backside saying 'So HOT I Sizzle' was a man with wild black hair and crazed, hyper looking black eyes. Chocolate was smeared all over this man, in particularly his mouth and hands. The man cackled insanely. "WOOOO! You'll never take me alive, Riza baby!"

Another set of loud gunshots ensued soon after. "COLONEL!"

Both Envy and Amity blinked owlishly as a woman clad in a green, tube top dress that was cut off mid-thigh blazed past them, wielding a small pistol in each of her hands. I wasn't until the woman passed that Amity noticed a chocolate hand print on the lady's rear end.

"Riza! Don't kill him!"

A stampede of black cloaked strangers paraded past them not too long after the woman had; all shouting in a desperate attempt to calm the enraged female.

"He didn't mean it!"

"He's not in his right mind!"

"You know sugar makes him crazy!"

Slightly windblown, Amity straightened her now lopsided top-hat, gazing in the direction the people ran off to. There was a small period of silence before she spoke. "Well, that was unexpected."

As soon as the words fell out of her mouth, the ground began to tremble. A feeling of dread crept into Amity's stomach, though she didn't understand why. Slowly, she turned her head toward the source of the rumbling. She felt her mouth go dry; her pupils shrank at the sight that raced toward them from afar.

Screaming, she jumped into Envy's arms, wrapping her arms around his neck a burring her face into his shoulder. Now, normally, Envy would have dropped her and laughed at her pathetic weakness, but he and his brain were too preoccupied arguing over if the pink, tutu clad, mustached man was really there, and not some strange fabrication of his tired, over-worked brain.

"Think you can out run me, do you? Cross country running has been a skill passed down the Armstrong family for generations!" The sparkling man bellowed, paying no heed to the shivering girl and the Pinocchio costumed sin as he sped past at speeds that should have been impossible for such a large man.

Envy blinked once. Twice. Three times before his brain finally convinced him that was he was seeing was, in fact, real and not some sugar induced hallucination. He sighed. "Well it's official; this night couldn't get any weirder."

The horrifying ballerina out of mind, Amity, still in Envy's arms, nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah, I don't things could get any more bizarre than this."

"Would you like me to leave you two _alone_?" A smug voice asked from behind them.

The palm tree haired sin turned around with Amity still in his arms. Pride smirked condescendingly up at them, his arms folded. Envy and Amity looked down at the arrogant sin with mirrored looks of confusion, before slowly turning and looking at each other.

Their eyes widened.

"Pride!" Envy yelled, dropping his Conscience immediately like a hot-potato; a blush made its way onto his face. "That is just sick and demented!"

The blunette hopped to her feet, ignoring the fact that she was dropped. "Why would we even-?" She screeched, her cheeks turning to color of a ripe tomato, unable to finish her sentence.

"It's just wrong on so many levels!" The jealous homunculus protested veheminately. "I mean, really, we would never do what... what _couples _do!"

"Exactly!" Amity agreed. "I would never _ever _go on a date with Envy, or let him buy me chocolates and… " She trailed off, her eyes brightening. "…actually that doesn't sound so bad, now that I think about it…" She hummed thoughtfully.

"It's not that sort of stuff I'm talking about!" He shouted.

She tilted her head innocently to the side, her brows furrowing in confusion. "What kind of stuff do couples do besides that?"

The silence that engulfed the group was almost suffocating. And, for reason's Amity couldn't fathom, Envy's face turned even darker red than it had before.

"Um… more intimate things." Pride vaguely explained, tugging nervously at this collar of his costume and refusing to make eye contact.

The corners of her lip curved downward. "What do you mean 'intimate'?"

Envy coughed awkwardly. "Um… you know… the birds and the bees?"

The fairy blinked several more times. "What do birds and bees have to do with-"

"Okay, I think we're done with this conversation now!" Envy announced with false cheer, clapping and rubbing his hands together. "How about we go find Lust, Wrath and Gluttony now? Yes? Let's go."

Amity's frowned deepened; her mind still stuck on the previous conversation. "Do these 'birds and bees' have anything to do with Pride's feelings for Ms. Monteith?"

"My feelings for… WHAT!?" Pride shrieked, his eyes widening with horror.

Envy's expression nearly rivaled his older brothers. "Amity!" He cried.

She chuckled nervously, rubbing that back of her neck. "Heh…heh… Uh, whoops..."

The young looking sin whirled on his younger sibling, his eyes sparking with promised payback. "You _told _her?!"

"Um…"

Pride hissed; the blood-lust in the air was nearly palpable. No one dared to breath for a long period of tense silence.

The proud sin narrowed his eyes venomously. "Equivalent exchange."

"…Huh?" Envy asked.

"You reveal a secret about me, so to make things equal, now I have to reveal something about _you_."

Envy paled. "Y-You wouldn't dare!"

Grinning like the sadistic child he was, Pride turned his attention to bushy haired fairy, who was watched the exchange with uncertainty. "Envy told you of our bargain, correct? That if he kept my ... _feelings _for Ms. Monteith a secret that I wouldn't reveal Envy's little problem to anyone."

Her uneasiness thrown out the window, Amity nodded eagerly, chewing on her lower lip with anticipation.

"Traitor!" Envy growled.

Prides grin grew so large it threatened to split his face in two. "Envy…" He paused for dramatic effect.

"…is married."

…

…

…

"I did not see that coming." Amity admitted, completely awestruck.

"Pride!" The palm-tree haired one wailed his cheeks once again aflame with embarrassment.

"About 150 years ago, when Envy was still pretty 'young' Greed convinced him to go drinking at a bar." Pride drawled with deliberate slowness, as if to prolong Envy's suffering. "Envy, as it turned out, couldn't hold his liquor at all. So, after a long night of drinking enough booze to give an ordinary human liver poisoning, Envy wakes up the next morning in Xing, married to…"

"Stop! Stop! I'm begging you!" Envy dropped to his knees, clasping his hands together. "I'll do whatever you want for a year! I'll clean your room! I'll be your personal slave! Just. Don't. Finish!"

"Equivalence." The evil little boy sang, wagging his finger at the begging sin. "Envy wakes up in Xing the next morning with a marriage certificate. He is now officially married to a lovely _potted palm tree _houseplantnamed Lillian."

Amity tried. She really did. But she just couldn't take it anymore. Her suppressed giggles burst out of her mouth, metamorphosing into peals of insane laughter that made tears well up in her eyes. Eventually, while catching her breath, she stuttered. "I-I'm sorry Envy! B-But you and-and a _palm tree!_" She dissolved into giggles again. "It's just so… so…"

"Some Conscience you are!" Envy retorted, stomping his foot on the ground. "You should be defending me right now! Not laughing your butt off!"

"I-I'm sorry." She choked, wiping the tears of mirth out of her blue eyes. "B-But you…" She snorted.

Pride sighed happily, smiling pleasantly at his younger brother. "I feel so much better now. Don't you?"

"Go to hell." Envy spat, folding his arms and marching away from the group; attempting to keep whatever dignity he had intact.

"I'll see you there, won't I?" Was Pride's retort, following his sibling. "I bet _palm trees _don't last very long down there."

Envy gave his brother a nasty glare. "Bug off you little imp!"

"Come now, gentlemen, don't be like that!" Amity giggled, trailing behind Envy like the good like Conscience she was. "What would Lillian and Nancy say if they saw you now?"

"SHUT UP!" Pride and Envy barked, glaring daggers at the blunette.

"Oi, if we're following the rules of equivalent exchange, shouldn't you cough up some dirt about yourself?" Envy asked, raising an eyebrow at the fairy.

Pride grinned roguishly at the girl, whose grin had fallen clean off her face. "That seems fair…"

"Hey hey hey!" Amity yelped, waving her arms in panic. "I never asked to be indulged in your deep dark secrets… as hilarious as they may be. Besides-" She huffed, folding her arms across her chest. "I'm not giving you guys any blackmail material."

"Ooo, so little Miss Goodie Two-Shoes _does _have some deep dark secrets of her own." Envy practically cooed, causing Amity's cheeks to redden in embarrassment.

"I don't have any silly crushes or secret marriages to potted plants, if that's what you mean." She bit back spitefully, her hands now resting defiantly on her hips.

Envy whistled. "That's pretty harsh, coming from someone who's normally the size of my thumb."

Smirking sardonically, Pride added. "Not to mention you're supposed to be Envy's voice between right and wrong. How could you be so mean?" He pretended to pout.

Amity frowned looking a little unsure with herself. "Well…"

"And after we shared some of our deepest and darkest secrets with you!" The jealous homunculus cried dolefully.

"Really Amity, you ought to be feeling quiet guilty, you know." Pride tsked, shaking his head in disappointment.

The Conscience chewed her lip, looking down at her shoes. Guilt spread plainly over her face. "Well… I guess one little secret wouldn't hurt…"

Grinning like the cunning geniuses they were, Pride and Envy eagerly leaned in closer, looking all too much like schoolgirls enjoy a juicy bit of gossip at the lunch table.

Amity took a deep breath, looking her trick-or-treating companions straight in the eyes.

"I have a severe phobia of mustached ballerinas."

…

…

…

Envy threw his hands up into the air, disgusted. "That's boring!"

The child-looking homunculus scowled at the blunette. "Of all the ridiculous…"

"I'm serious!" She wailed, looking terrified at the very mention of her phobia. "When I was an 8 year-old Conscience, Sidius, a fairy that never liked me and had a mustache, was a substitute teacher for my class for an entire week. Once in class I accidentally fell asleep and started dreaming. It was a pretty normal dream at first, I was doing to polka in a field of chocolate daisies with a some garden gnomes, until I heard someone call my name. I looked, and there was Sidius! He had turned into a giant ballerina and began crushing all of my gnome friends with his feet! It was horrible!" She sobbed.

…

…

…

"… Why don't we go meet up with Lust? Maybe they've had better luck finding those Whatchamacallit bars." The Pinocchio impersonator suggested after a long moment of awkward silence.

Pride snorted. "I highly doubt it."

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"Nothing?"

Lust let out a long-suffering sigh. "Not a candy bar to be had."

"Damn." Pride cursed, folding his arms and scowling at the pavement. "We were unable to attain any Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars as well."

"Maybe they don't make them anymore?" Envy suggested, sitting down on the fountains edge and scowling at the happy couples playing games at the varying festival booths.

"Can I eat that Lust?" The chubby sin pleaded, tugging on the hem of her dress and pointing to something off in the distance.

The one in question sighed. "No Gluttony that is a building."

"But it looks so tasty!"

Lust's eye began to twitch spastically, her patience thinning down to the point of nothingness. "No Gluttony."

"Hey, lookie what I found!" Amity cried from afar, running towards the group of homunculi

The palm-tree haired homunculus wrinkled his nose in disgust. "I don't even want to know what you found in the restroom."

"I didn't find it there." Amity said with a roll of the eyes. Grinning, she continued. "I was on my way back here and I noticed a prize at one of the booths! The man that ran the booth was nice and let me play the first time for free, and you'll never guess what I won!"

The homunculi all gave her blank stares, making the blunette's eager grin falter. "Well, guess!" She prodded, hiding the item behind her back.

They continued to stare, much to Amity's disappointment. "You guys are no fun at all." She grumbled. Then, grinning like a fool, she revealed her prize. "Ta-da!"

Envy's eyes widened. "Is that…?"

"A Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bar? Why yes, yes it is." Amity beamed proudly. "They're giving tons of these things away as prizes at all sorts of different game booths!"

"Does this mean what I think it means?" The proud sin asked, looking over at Wrath.

The Fuhrer sighed. "Yes. Unfortunately, to acquire Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars we're going to have to play the carnival games."

"Won't it be fun?" Amity gushed, once again oblivious to the other homunculi's misery.

Envy groaned, running a hand down his face.

"We'll need money to play." Pride observed, giving Wrath a pointed look.

Exhaling through the nose, Wrath pulled his wallet out from a pocket in his pirate uniform. He handed everyone several stacks of bills. The sight made Amity's eyes go incredibly wide.

"I-I don't think I've ever held so much money before in my life. " She murmured in awe, looking down at her own stack with glassy eyes.

"Geeze Wrath, we're going to play some games, not purchase a villa." Envy drawled, placing the paper money into his pockets.

"Just a precautionary measure. Though I have no personal experience, my wife claims that carnival games are difficult to win, are often times set up so that it is impossible for you to win, and are expensive." Wrath explained, placing the wallet back inside his coat pocket. Gluttony wasn't given any money, since he would most likely devour it.

The palm-tree impersonator snorted, folding his arms. "Sounds just like a typical human; blaming the game instead of their pathetic, inept ability."

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"I'm telling you, this game is rigged!"

"Envy calm down!" Amity hissed, waving her hands in a placid manner, smiling apologetically at the people who wandered by. "People are starting to stare." She whispered.

"Let them!" He roared, handing the man who ran to booth another set of bills. The man took them all too eagerly, handing the homunculus a set of three round balls.

"Envy, you've already spend half of the money Wrath gave you on this stand alone!" The fairy attempted to reason.

"I don't mind." The runner of the booth replied cheerily, running his fingers of the massive amount of money affectionately.

"Shut up! I will knock those glass bottles down if it's the last thing I do!" Envy snapped at her.

Scowling, she retorted. "Why must you be so stubborn!?"

"Why must you be so annoying!?"

"You'll never knock the bottles down at this rate, Envy! You throw like a girl!"

His eyes widened, stunned. The look on his face reminded Amity of the time Lust slapped him for sticking his hand down her chest. "T-Take that back!"

"Hey Ed, this game looks like fun!"

Amity paused. Turning her head over towards the familiar voice coming from behind her. Grinning, she waved enthusiastically at the trio making their way towards the booth. "Winry! Al! Ed!" She called cheerily. "What are you guys doing here?"

Winry was the first to look up; smiling brightly once she recognized the blunette. She rushed over. "Hey Amity!" The blonde girl greeted. "I was wondering if we'd bump into each other again! Having any luck with the carnival games?"

Amity pouted. "I haven't got to play any besides one. Env-er-Ogilive is being stubborn and won't go play any others."

"We'll leave when I've beaten this pathetic excuse of human entertainment!" Envy snapped, throwing his second ball and failing once again to knock the bottles down, though they did rattle a little.

"That's pretty pathetic." Ed jabbed.

"I'd like to see you do better, pipsqueak!" The homunculus growled, narrowing his eyes, his glare challenging.

Edward's eye twitched and he ground his teeth together at hearing the 'p' word. Spinning on heel, he slammed a small stack of bills onto the stands counter. He turned toward the homunculus, shooting him a dark look. "Set me up!"

Amity sighed heavily, then pausing as something occurred to her. "Your costumes are different." She pointed out.

"Ed's idea." Alphonse sighed.

"I was sick and tired of all you delusional people thinking I was a unicorn! So, I transmuted our costumes into something different." The Fullmetal Alchemist explained, as he threw one of the small balls, failing to knock even a single bottle down much to the homunculus' delight.

"I'm Dorothy, you know, from the Wizard of Oz?" Winry chimed in, pointing to her blue-plaid dress and low-hanging pigtails.

"I'm the Tin Man." Al spoke, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"So…" Amity turned toward Ed, who let out a loud curse when his ball missed the bottles entirely. "Why is Ed dressed as a kitten?"

Edward Elric nearly blew up.

"I'M A LION!" He roared in a very lion-like way, his teeth bared at the Conscience.

Envy burst into an insane fit of laughter. Earning a slap on the shoulder from the not-so-lion look-alike.

"Hey, no fighting!" Winry snapped, pulling out her wrench and pointing at the two threateningly.

"He started it!" Ed and Envy yelled, pointing a finger at each other accusingly.

Amity couldn't help but let a giggle escape her lips. Envy and Ed acted a lot like brothers, in her opinion. Very violent, grumpy brothers.

When Winry threatened their well-being once again, they begrudgingly released each other.

"Creep." Ed grumbled.

"Shrimp."

"WHAT DID YOU-!?"

"Hey Ed, I'd like to try and play!" The blonde girl interrupted, pointing to the booth.

Edward grumbled turning toward her; his own failure at the game was a painful blow against his own ego. "So, play."

She narrowed her eyes. "How can I play if I don't have any money?"

"How is that my problem?" He asked, drooping and exasperated.

"Pay for me, Alchemy-nerd!"

"Pay for it yourself, Mechanic-geek!"

Amity, observing the scene with pondering eyes, piped up. "But Ed, isn't the boyfriend supposed to pay for the girlfriend?"

Both froze in mid-argument, their faces turning impossibly red as they slowly turned toward the Conscience.

Envy's laughter broke the stunned silence.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Ed shrieked, his face burning with embarrassment.

Amity frowned. "Are you sure? Don't you two like eachother?"

"U-U-Um. Ed, money please!" The girl choked out, turning her face away from the staring fairy.

"S-Sure Winry…" He mumbled, looking mortified and no less than being mentally scarred for life.

Al chuckeld from beside Amity. "So, you think they'd make a good couple too?" He whispered to her.

"You mean they seriously aren't a couple already?" She asked, surprised. "What are they waiting for then!?"

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Envy shrieked, his voice rising in pitch.

Startled, the three turned to see…

The bottles knocked down.

Not by Envy, no, it was the blonde mechanic who was grinning proudly, holding up a teddy bear the size of Ed in her arms.

"I won!" She cried victoriously, making a 'V' with her middle and index finger.

Envy stared, rage and disbelief etched onto his face as he watched the human female dance around with the bear, practically singing her accomplishment so loud, the people in Drachma could have heard her. Envy's eye began twitching.

His nerves were shot. His pride had been trampled on by some pathetic human girl and not to mention, he failed to win the Chocolate Cocoa something-something-something bars that Father demanded he collect. Envy's face slowly turned red with rage; he felt like a ticking time-bomb about ready to blow up.

Amity giggled, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I was wrong. You throw even worse than a girl!"

…

…

…

"AAAIIIEEEE!" Amity cried, barely dodging the enraged Pinocchio impersonator when her lunged at her. Amity gulped, certain she wasn't imagining the red glow in his eyes, which narrowed dangerously at her.

Weighing her options in this particular situation, Amity came to the only logical conclusion.

Run.

"See ya later Ed, Al, Winry!" She called over her shoulder, darting off into the crowd, Envy not too far behind.

"…Think we should help her?" Alphonse asked worriedly.

Ed waved his hand dismissively "Nah, she'll be okay."

**.**

**.**

**.**

"This is ridiculous."

Lust did her best to maintain her composure; her patience was running extremely thin and it was only a matter of time before she finally snapped. She was fairly certain that what Pride said was the understatement of the century.

This 'bobbing for apples' was not only pointless and messy, but highly unsanitary. She knew she wouldn't want to put her mouth in water that several other people contaminated with their saliva, she suppressed a shutter.

Humans found this _fun_?

"Gluttony can do it." Wrath spoke, the look on his face clearly stating that he didn't wish to dunk his head in the water either.

That option certainly was more favorable than having to do it herself. Besides, skills involving the mouth were right up Gluttony's alley.

So, handing the money over to the woman who ran the bobbing apple stand, warning the chubby sin to not bite any of the other competitor's heads off, the barbaric competition began.

A few minutes of vicious splashing went by before the woman blew her whistling, signaling that time was up. Gluttony emerged from the water…

With no apple.

In fact, no one had managed to claim the apple. Frowning in disappointment, Wrath gave the money more money for Gluttony to play again.

Soon, round two began.

And ended with no victors.

Frowning even deeper, a crease forming on his forehead, Wrath paid for Gluttony to try again.

And again.

And again.

_And again._

Finally, after Gluttony's 30th attempt Lust put a hand on Wrath's shoulder before her youngest brother could give into the sin he was named after and strangle Gluttony. "Let's move on to another game. It's pointless to waste any more time here."

"I concur." Pride spoke, kicking up a dirt clod with the toe of shoe, glaring it distastefully.

The corners of his lips curled downward a little more before he closed his eyes and released a heavy breath through the nose. "Very well."

"Come Gluttony."

Sucking on his finger, the pudgy sin waddled over toward the group, catching up to them as they began to wander the various booths once more. Gluttony made a whimpering noise, looking up at Lust. "Are you mad at me?" He asked, tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

"No."

"I did my very best."

"I know." She sighed.

"And I ate as many apples as I could get."

"I… What?" She stopped, looking down.

Wrath and Pride stopped aw well, staring wide eyed at Gluttony.

He smiled. "I ate as many apples as I could." The round homunculus repeated proudly. "I ate more than any of the humans did!"

…

…

…

Lust didn't try to stop Wrath when he lunged at Gluttony, grabbing the poor bald sin by the throat and shaking him violently.

Because in all honesty, she had been very close to trying to same thing.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Amity giggled, skipping along next to Envy, cotton candy in one hand and a stuffed frog with Velcro-fingers hanging around her neck. She plucked a piece of her treat off the stick and popped it into her mouth, nearly purring in delight as the light, fluffy sugary candy melted in her mouth.

They hadn't had any luck winning any carnival games. And it seemed whichever ones they did manage to beat, the chocolate somethingerither bars were no longer in stock.

Amity sighed sadly, taking another bite of her candy. They'd been wandering around aimlessly the festival for a little while now, and hadn't spotted a single booth giving away the treat Father required. This quest was starting to feel impossible…

A small smile made it too her face. Oh well, at least she was getting to have fun!

"Hey Envy, you have to try this!" She said, wagging the cotton candy in front of his nose, attempting to perk up her sulking friend.

He eyed the offered treat incredulously, wrinkling his nose in distaste and shoving her hand away. "No way, it smells so nauseatingly sweet, it makes my nostrils burn."

Amity frowned. "Aw, c'mon, just one little taste?" She coaxed her voice almost as sweet as the candy.

He huffed, turning away from her and sticking his nose up in the air.

Smirking mischievously, Amity turned away from him; she gasped and pointed out into the crowd. "Look at that!"

Envy turned his head. "Look at wha-"

SMACK!

Envy muffled screams could be heard through the pink candy that now completely coated his face. Amity couldn't control her giggles once she saw cotton candy didn't go into his mouth like she had planned, but instead collided with his nose "You-you were supposed to open your mouth!" She chortled, covering her own with her hand.

Envy struggled to pull the offending fuzz off of his face, gasping for air when he did. "What are you tryin' to do?! Suffocate me with this stuff!?" He screeched, using the stick to point at her. "I think half of it went up my nose! I'm going to be sneezing pink fluff for weeks!" He snarled.

"It-it wasn't supposed to g-go up your nose." She barely managed between snickers. "I'm *snort* I'm really sorry!" She giggled again. "You-you have some in your eye-brows b-by the way."

He glowered at her a while longer, his hands twitching as thoughts of murder floated through his mind. She looked up at him, azure eyes shining with unshed tears of mirth. "So, uh, shall we let bygones be bygones?" She inquired apprehensively, noticing his dark look.

Then, to her upmost surprise, he closed his eyes and beamed brightly at her. "Sure."

"…Really?"

"Of course, it was an accident after all." He assured her, his large smile still in place.

Amity couldn't help but grin a little herself. "Wow, I thought you were mad!" She sighed in relief, wiping some imaginary sweat from her brow. "I was worried you'd try and strangle me again!"

Envy laughed, waving his hand in dismissal. "Perish the thought!"

Her smile grew and the two began to walk again. "And here I thought you were going to-"

Her foot caught on something, causing her to fall sprawled out prone onto the hard dirt. It took her about three seconds in that position to process that the thing that her foot caught on was Envy's own, outstretched foot, and that he was cackling insanely behind her. "I can't believe you fell for that!"

"Envy, you purgle faced JERK!" She growled, lifting her face from the ground. "Owie…That hurt!"

"You should have seen the look on your face!" He snickered.

"You ought to be feeling guilty, you know!"

"Need some help?" A smooth, male voice asked from above her, sufficiently shutting her homunculus friend up. A hand dangled down in front of her, it wiggled its fingers to remind the blunette that the owner of it was waiting for her response.

She took it, and the man effortlessly lifted her to her feet. Looking up, she was stunned to see a pair of violet, cat-like eyes peering down at her.

"And what's your name, sweetheart?" The mysterious stranger asked, bringing his lips to her knuckles, kissing them lightly. He was tall. Taller than Envy at very least. His short hair was spiked upward. He was wearing a costume that reminded Amity of the things Arabian kings wore in the old stories she'd read (minus the turban). His open vest revealed well defined muscles, and it suddenly was no wonder why he was able to lift her so easily. But of all the things, the most alarming was his jagged, shark like teeth.

Swallowing hard, she managed a nervous smile at the stranger who was looking at her with such intensity, she nearly felt her legs give out from underneath her. "I'm-"

"Greed!" Envy snarled, finally snapped out of his stunned daze.

Amity blinked twice, looking over her shoulder at her partner. "Last time I checked, I was Amity." She told him, her brows furrowing in confusion.

The man let out a single bark of laughter. "So you two are here together then?" He snickered, his gaze flicking back down at Amity, he had yet to let go of her hand. "Tell me toots, how'd you get stuck with _that _loser?"

Sighing and unaware of the glares Envy was sending her 'captor', Greed, she replied. "Well, it all started after I accidentally led the last person I was a Conscience too into an alligator farm…"

"Amity, don't talk to that scum." Envy seethed, he would have undoubtedly attacked now, were it not for the fact his powers didn't work on Halloween.

"Hey, how about you ditch the wanna-be-a-real-boy over there and come hang out with me?" Greed suggested, taking a piece of her blue hair and also bringing it too his lips. Tension rose in the air.

"It doesn't taste like blueberries, you know."

And deflated in seconds.

Greed pulled away slowly, blinking owlishly at the blunette that had spoken.

"I mean, really, why does everyone that isn't used to blue hair think it's flavored?" She asked aloud, placing her now free hands on her hips.

Envy and Greed both stared at her, mouths agape.

"It would be like me thinking all brunette's hair tasted like chocolate, since brown hair is a rare color where I'm from." She continued, oblivious to those around her as usual.

There was another brief pause before Greed laughed again. "Man, she's a keeper! Where'd you find her Envy?"

"Technically, I found him." She piped up.

"Never mind all of that!" The jealous sin snapped, pointing a finger at Greed. "What are you doing here?"

The avaricious one's eyes glinted with mischief. "I'm here on a little revenge mission." He confessed.

Envy eyes widened, surprised Greed even answered him. "What exactly does that mean? And stop giving Amity that look, damn it! She's _my _Conscience, not _you_r_s_! So back off!"

"Geeze, you're taking this role-playing thing a little seriously, don't you think Pinocchio?" Greed sighed. Then smirking smugly, Greed pulled his head backward, looking down his nose at his younger brother. "Well, I suppose I have time to tell you…" He hummed. "Every year, ever since my creation, it was me Father sent to go collect his precious Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars." He told, a scowl gracing his features. "He never shared. Naturally, since I'm Greed, I wanted Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars too. But not just a couple of Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars, no, I wanted _all_ the Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars."

He sighed then, rubbing the back of neck. "I fought Father for them. The two of us destroyed the entire factory that made the Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars. I barely managed to escape with my life; that was 103 years ago. The night I defected from the rest of the homunculi. The company believed the bars were cursed, and never made them again. Until today."

"So, I have vowed to take every single Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bar for myself!" He declared passionately, placing a hand over where his heart would be.

…

…

…

"You certainly enjoy saying Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars, don't you?" Amity asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Guilty as charged, sweetheart." Greed grinned, winking at her and revealing his sharp teeth.

"Well, your insidious plot won't work!" Envy yelled, pointing at his brother once again. "Lust, Wrath, Gluttony, Pride, Amity and I will get more bars than you ever could and bring them all to Father!"

"Is that a challenge?" Greed asked, his grin growing wider. "Fine by me." He turned back to Amity, taking her hand and kissing it again. "I'll be back." He spoke huskily, looking her directly in the eyes.

"See you around then…?" Amity spoke, confusion lacing her tone.

He smiled again, giving her a two fingered salute and making a very rude gesture toward Envy before disappearing into the crowd.

"I'll show him." Envy growled lowly, his hair covering his eyes. He clenched his fists tightly. "I'll show that bastard once and for all!" He roared, marching off.

"Hey, where are we going?" Amity called after him, sprinting to catch up with his fast pace.

"I'm going to find Lust, Wrath, Pride and Gluttony." He answered. "And we're going to make a game plan."

"… I don't like the sound of that."

**.**

**.**

**.**

"I believe flamethrowers might be a little excessive, Envy." Lust spoke calmly, though one could see amusement in her eyes.

"What else do you think we should use against him!?" He demanded, narrowing his eyes.

Pride rolled his violet orbs. "He's 'the Ultimate Shield', I doubt such primitive weapons would cause him any harm."

"Then what do you suggest!?" He snarled, wheeling on his oldest brother.

"Simple; we play as many games as we can and obtain all of the candy bars." Pride responded tonelessly.

"But, and do correct me if I'm wrong, haven't we played all the games?" Amity asked.

"Have you played ring toss?" Envy asked Lust.

"Yes. Unfortunately, Gluttony ate the rings and we were disqualified." The woman sighed, hanging her head.

"Have you done darts and balloons?" Wrath asked, causing Amity to grimace.

"Yeah… That didn't end too well…" She mumbled.

Lust quirked an eyebrow. "How so?"

"I kinda _sorta_ lost my temper…" Envy grumbled, ducking his head.

"And the man that ran the booth had to be taken to the emergency room." Amity added.

"What did you do too him?" Lust asked sternly, narrowing her eyes at the envious sin.

"Um…"

"Well, by the time Envy was done with him, the man looked less like a human and more like a giant, dart covered pincushion." The blunette explained sheepishly. She turned her gaze back towards Envy. "You should be feeling guilty for doing that." She reprimanded.

Scoffing, Envy rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Lust, Wrath and Pride all let out deep, exasperated sighs; Amity could have sworn she saw sweat-drops forming on their temples.

"What are we going to do now?" Lust asked, scowling at some of the booth players. They had yet to find another booth that gave away the candy bars they needed.

"It's not like we can return to Father empty handed. " Wrath spoke, his eyes also scanning the crowd in search of the precious candy.

"Hey, look at that!" Amity yelled, pointing off into the crowd gaining all the other homunculi's attention, well, besides Envy's that is.

"Like hell I'm falling for that again." Envy growled, refusing to look in her direction. "Last time I looked, you nearly suffocated me with cotton candy!"

"Amity found a booth that is giving away Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars." Pride gave his brother a scolding look. "And you nearly let her kill you with cotton candy? Are you really that pathetic?"

"…Shut up."

"It's a game for small children." Lust sighed, staring at the booth.

The pirate clad man nodded in agreement. "It would look conspicuous for adults to be playing."

Silence filled the air as everyone's gaze turned toward Pride. The oldest homunculus frowned, narrowing his eyes in confusion. "…What are you all staring at me for?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

"This is preposterous." Pride seethed, glaring distastefully at the booth he found himself at. "I'm over 300 years old; I'm older than all of you!" He hissed quietly, glaring at his 'family' who stood behind him.

"But you look the youngest." Lust explained, her eyes practically dancing with amusement.

"C'mon Pride, it'll be fun!" Amity assured with a large grin.

He scowled at her. "We clearly have two very different definitions of 'fun'."

The game itself was laughably simple. Select two ducks floating around in the kiddie pool. The numbers 1-5 that were written on the bottom of each duck were added together and you get a prize depending on the total you managed to collect; ten being the highest possible total and two being the lowest.

It took five points to win a candy bar. And there was only one Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bar left.

It was a large blow to his enormous ego to be playing such a juvenile game, but it would be an even worse blow to go back to Father empty handed.

Sighing heavily, Pride approached the stand; the others tagging along behind him.

"Why hello there, sonny!" The male that ran the booth spoke loudly once he saw the young looking boy approach. "And what might your name be?"

Prides eyes twitched slightly. "My name's Selim, mister!" He chimed happily, falling into his Selim persona. "I'd like to play your game!" _'And possibly kill you o__nce this is over.'_

"Well, sure thing little buddy!" The man crowed happily. The man looked behind the boy. "And what's you name little lady?"

The proud sin looked over his shoulder. Behind him was a little girl, probably not much older than three. She had light, caramel colored hair tied into two bushy pig-tails and green eyes. She was dressed like an angel, with fake, white feathery wings and a halo suspended over her head with a wire. She was holding the hand of a man that was most likely in his late twenties.

"I'm Elicia!" She announced jovially, tugging the hand of the man. "And this is daddy!"

'_Must. Not. Gag. At. The. Cuteness.'_ Pride mentally groaned, resisting urge to run away when the man began cuddling his daughter like a giant stuffed animal.

Handing the man the required fee, Pride dropped onto his knees, the small girl doing the same; the two watched the ducks float aimlessly in the slightly dirty water.

He just needed to get 5 points total, that was all.

"Oh, pick that one!" Amity cried, leaning over him and pointing toward a pink rubber duck with an afro.

"That one looks tasty!" Gluttony chimed from next to Amity, pointing at a brown and pink spotted duck.

"The purple one looks desirable." Lust commented.

"The blue one looks dignified." Wrath spoke.

Pride's eyes darted between ducks his comrades were point to; not knowing which one he should pick. Beads of sweat formed on his face. What if he picked the wrong ducks? They'd never let him live it down!

"The orange one is adorable!"

"The black one looks mysterious…"

"Oh, oh, pick that one!"

"That one looks much better!"

"Look at my daughter, isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen?" The father of Elicia said to Envy. If Pride were to turn around, he'd see the envious sin trapped, pictures of the man's daughter dangling in front of his nose.

"Why the hell do you need to show me pictures?! She's right here!"

Closing his eyes, Pride bent down and grabbed a random duck. Gulping, he turned it over.

A messily scrawled number 1 was on the bottom.

His whole body turned cold as ice as he stared in disbelief at the number. That meant he had to get at least a 4 to win now!

"Look, daddy! I got a three!" Elicia announced merrily, showing the duck to her father.

"That my little girl! So smart" He cooed before turning back to Envy. "And here's a picture of Elicia on her very first Christmas! Aw, isn't she adorable in that hat?"

"Let go of me you crazy-"

Pride blocked out the rest of his younger brothers protest and glared at the young girl who hummed happily, watching the little ducks go around. Thinks she can beat him, does she? Well, that pathetic human girl had no idea what she was in for!

"Grab the one with the comb over!"

"Pirates are lucky! Pick the pirate one!"

A tick mark appeared on his temple. He would not allow this girl to beat him. He wouldn't!

"Go for the brown one!"

"The one with glasses looks yummy!"

He had to pick, but which one? Which one would bring him victory?

"Is that one tie-dyed?"

"That one had a crooked beak…"

"I don't need to see any more photo's of your daughter!"

"Pick the green polka-dotted one!"

He grit his teeth to the point they almost began to crack. The ducks were mocking them, he just knew it! _You don't know which one to pick, you don't know which one to pick~ _He swore he heard them singing, their beady, little black eyes twinkling innocently at him in the booth's decorative lights.

He felt his blood boiling…

"Get the one with the bow-tie!"

"That one! That one!"

"Grab the striped one!"

The tick mark on his forehead was pulsing faster…

"That one's sparkly!"

"The one with the chef's hat looks like it might have a high number!"

A growl escaped his lips.

_You don't know which one to pick~ you don't know which one to pick~_

"Fools! I will not be defeated so easily!" Pride roared, plunging his hand into the kiddie pool of unsuspecting rubber ducks. He viciously ripped one out. It was a simple, plain yellow duck. The only plain duck out of the entire batch. Gulping down some much needed air, he slowly turned the duck over to find he number…

1.

"Daddy, look! It's a five!" Elicia called from beside Pride, holding a pink duck up in the air proudly.

His eyebrow twitched.

…

…

…

"He fainted!" Amity wailed, looking down at the fallen boy; his eyes replaced with comical spirals.

"Brilliant deduction, Amity. Tell me, did you realize this before or after he hit the ground unconscious?" Envy drawled sarcastically, showing no concern for his older brother.

"I suppose the stress was too much for him." Wrath sighed, looking down at his 'son'.

"Come on Elicia, let's go play another game!" The father of the girl called, scooping his child and her recently won unicorn stuffed animal up. Neither one aware of the trauma they had just caused the young looking boy who was lying passed out in the dirt.

"Whoever that guy was, I'll kill him." Envy vowed. "He showed me so many cutesy pictures of his daughter, it was sickening!"

While Amity tried to calm her partner down, Lust walked forward, smiling flirtatiously at the man who ran the booth.

"I was wondering," She began, pouting her lips in such a way that would make any man weak in the knees. "If it would be possible for you give me that candy bar you have on display." The busty sin purred, running her hand down his arm while the man sweated profusely, gulping audibly at her closeness. "You see, it's little Selim's favorite candy and he was so disappointed he didn't win it…"

"W-Well shucks Ma'am…" The man muttered, his face turning red. "I-I'm not sure if…"

Lust leaned in closer. "I'm sure I can find some way to _compensate _for your loss." She whispered.

Within seconds the group left with candy bar in hand. Gluttony slung the still unconscious Pride over his shoulder.

"Good work, Lust." Wrath commended, looking down at the candy bar she was holding. "Now, all that is left is to bring this to Father."

"The look in that guys face was priceless." Envy snickered. "Humans really are all too easy to dupe!"

Amity frowned. She wasn't entirely sure what Lust did, or why the man so easily gave her the candy bar. He turned an awful lot of shades of red when the female sin was talking to him…. She turned her gaze back down toward the candy bar. She froze.

"…Amity?" Lust asked, stopping as well; noticing the horrified look on the young girl's face.

"What's wrong now?" Envy groaned, stopping and turning and as well.

Amity gulped. "That's… That's the wrong kind of candy…"

"… What?" Lust spoke, her eyes widening with fear.

"The-The candy we need is called Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bar." She murmured, pointing at the candy bar. "That one is called-"

"Chocolate Cocoa Crispy _Peanut_ Caramel Nougat _Pecan Blueberry Marshmallow _bar" Lust finished, reading off the label; her eyes widening even further.

"W-What do we do now!?" Envy yelped, terror written on his face. "If we don't bring Father back any of his candy, he'll… he'll…"

"Melt us back down into philosopher stone's." Wrath finished grimly.

Amity let out a low whistle. "That's a little harsh, don't you think?"

"We can't let this happen." Growled Lust, crushing the candy in her hands. "There must be some way. Something we haven't thought of yet…"

The blunette sighed heavily. Was the entire universe against them getting any Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars, or were they all, including her, just that incompetent? She frowned. There had to be some way to get the candy bars…

A hand clamped down on her shoulder. "Hey sweetheart, miss me?"

Amity saw Wrath reach for the sword on his hip, but was stopped by Lust when she placed her hand on his sword-hand, shooting the Fuhrer a look that clearly told him to wait.

Her curiosity peaked, the fairy turned her head, blinking several times at the speaker. "Greed?"

"Greed, what are you doing here?" Lust asked, narrowing her eyes at the man.

The avaricious sin grinned, though didn't remove his hand from Amity's shoulder. "Hello Lust, looking good as ever I see. Love the outfit." He almost purred, his eyes wandering shamelessly over her form.

"That doesn't answer my question." She repeated, holing up her hand threateningly. Amity gulped, seeing her fingernails grow ever-so-slightly; a warning to Greed, no doubt.

"Easy, easy, you wouldn't want to make a scene in front of all of these people, would you?" He said, making a 'calm down' gesture with his free hand. "I just came to talk to this cute little thing." He spoke looking back over at Amity.

"Well you can forget it and get lost!" Envy snarled, clenching his fists.

"So baby doll." Greed continued as if Envy hadn't even spoken, turning Amity to face him and taking both of her hands in his. "There's going to be a dance competition held later tonight…"

"Oh?" Amity asked uncomfortably, attempting to lean her face away from his. Why did he feel the need to be so close? It was starting to creep her out a little.

He smirked placing his hands on her shoulders, leaning in closer to her ear; so close she could feel his breath on it. "And they're giving away a life-time supply of Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars to the first place winners." He whispered quietly, using the purring tone that Lust had used moment ago on the rubber duck booth owner.

Amity leaned back, her mouth agape. "They're giving away an entire life-time supply of Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars to the first place winners of the dance contest!?" She exclaimed loudly, causing Greed to wince at the volume.

"What!?" Envy, Lust and Wrath shouted. A grumbled of protest could be heard from the still knock-out Pride.

"You know, when a man leans over and whispers something into your ear, he usually wants it to be kept a _secret_." Greed deadpanned, giving Amity a mildly annoyed look.

"Oh… sorry." She smiled sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders a little. "So, uh, what about the dance?"

Grinning, his hands slowly traveled downward toward her waist. She mentally frowned, wondering why he was so much more cuddly than the other homunculi.

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to go with me." He whispered huskily. Amity wondered if his throat was dry and was tempted to offer to get him a glass of water.

Thinking about it, she'd never been to a dance before and it did sound like a lot of fun, she smiled brightly at the idea, opening her mouth the reply…

"Wait a second!"

Without further warning, she was roughly pulled away from Greed and into the strong embrace of…

… Envy?

Amity didn't even try to hide her surprise as her mouth gaped open much like a fish. What was he doing?

"_We're _already going." Envy announced as Amity gawked from her position in his arms; it was much like he pulled her into a backwards hug.

"That doesn't mean she can't change her mind." Greed said, smirking at Envy's jealous display.

"I-"

"She's not going to 'change her mind' she's _my _Conscience, damn it and she's not going anywhere with the likes of you!" Envy growled.

'_Why is he seems to like me more whenever__ Greed is around?_' Amity pondered as the two homunculi continued their verbal spar. She let out a sigh of exasperation. _'It probably has something to do with his jealousy problems...'_

"That does it!" Envy roared, pointing a finger at his older brother. "We'll settle this at the dance!"

"A dance off?" Greed snorted dubiously, rolling his eyes. "Like _that's_ never been done before…" He smirked, shrugging his shoulders. "Fine by me then. I'll enjoy humiliating all of you in public- Oh, wait, you don't need _me _for that." He grinned, giving a two-fingered salute as he sauntered away.

"I loathe him." Envy grumbled, releasing Amity from his death-grip; no longer having an interest in her now that the person who was attempting to steal her was gone.

"An entire life-time of Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars…" Lust hummed thoughtfully. "It sounds promising. There are quite a few of us, which may boost our chances of winning…"

"It's our best shot." Amity agreed; though she secretly just wanted to go dance. Pride muttered something in his sleep, almost as if he was in agreeance with her.

The palm tree haired homunculus sighed, running a hand down his face. "Whatever. Let's just go and get this over with; besides I'm itching to finally put that bastard Greed in his place."

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Yeow!" Envy yelped, his foot being stepped on the third time in the span of twenty minutes as he and the other sins (and Amity) attempted to make their way through the crowd to sign their names on the dance contest entry form.

"You'd think they enjoy making utter fools of themselves in public." Pride (now fully conscious) growled, glaring nastily at the humans. He, being the shortest among the group, had been trampled upon, shoved around, and knocked down more times than his delicate ego could handle.

Amity kept quiet. It unnerved her that there were so many people coming to compete for the candy bars. She only knew a couple dances… What if Amestrian dances were complex? What if she let Envy down in front of all of these people. Her eyes widened in horror and she nearly let out a gasp, what if she met that giant mustached ballerina on the dance floor?

"-OK?... Amity? Amity! " Envy yelled, shaking the daydreaming girl by her shoulders.

"Wha-?" She answered unintelligently, blinking at the Pinocchio clad sin, who was scowling at her.

"Go sign me up for this stupid contest. There's no sense in_ both_ of us standing in line."

Amity frowned at him. "Why do I have to do it? Why can't _you _do it?" She scowled.

"Because I still blame you for this whole mess." Envy replied with a pleasant looking smile; though Amity knew his intentions were anything but.

"...Fine." She huffed, watching as the sins retreated toward a park bench, sitting down. Her frown deepened. "Why am I the one who has to do all of the work?" She muttered under her breath.

"He's almost as bad as Sloth." Lust muttered in front of the blunette, glaring at her young brother who grinned cheekily back. "The gall of that boy."

Amity's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You mean, you consider Envy a boy?"

"Of course." Lust spoke as they both took another step forward in the line. " He most certainly isn't an adult by my standards. He must constantly be nagged to clean his room, to not cause unnecessary mischief and so on."

Amity stifled her giggle; Lust was sounding like a mother hen again. It was oddly endearing, actually. Amity supposed that Lust must've had to be a mother of sorts too keep Gluttony and Envy behaving.

Lust turned to look at the fairy over her shoulders, her expression contemplative. "You know, Envy has a point; there's no reason for all of us to be waiting in line."

"...Huh?"

The female homunculus turned fully to face her. "Since you are signing up for Envy, surely you can sign for Gluttony and me as well?" She asked, quirking her eyebrow.

"I-I can?" Amity squeaked.

"Excellent, I leave it in your hands. Come Gluttony."

"Coming Lust."

Amity stood there, her mouth gaping shamelessly. Did Lust just shove all of her work onto her? That wasn't fair!

"Ah, that's a wonderful idea." Wrath said with a smile. "I believe I'll join them; be sure to spell my name correctly."

She watched helplessly as the pirate-clad homunculus walked away. "W-wait!"

Alas, her cries fell upon deaf ears. Wrath did however give her a small wave, not bothering to turn around. She groaned.

"I think I'll join them too."

Whirling around, she starred dumbstruck down at the smirking Pride. "Not you too!" She wailed.

Grinning like the evil child he was, Pride patted her hand. "But I'm too young to be signing my own name for any competitions!" He spoke, flawlessly becoming innocent, sweet Selim.

"...B-But!"

"C'mon Amity, it'll be fun!" He said with false excitement, repeating the very words she told him before the duck game.

And with one final smirk, Pride left, going over and sitting on the bench with his other siblings. She glared viciously at them, only to earn mocking waves in return... Even Wrath was doing it! She turned her head away from them, fuming. Envy should be feeling so guilty for this right now, he started all of this!

It felt like she waited hours on her feet before her turn finally came. She stopped in front of a long table that was set up in the grass. It was well lit by the paper lanterns that were strung all around the park.

"Yes?" The grumpy looking woman asked, tapping the pen she held against her slightly saggy cheek. Amity gulped, trying not to stare at large mole on the woman's face. It would be awfully rude if she look at it too long and - oh sweet Jiminy Cricket, was that a _hair _growing out of it?!

"Yes?" The woman prodded again agitatedly.

"Oh! Um, I'm here to sign up for the dance contest! ...Actually I'm signing up for my friends too..." She murmured sheepishly, smiling shyly at the lady.

"That's fine." The woman sighed, grabbing some papers from the stack next to her. Amity's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when the woman place a stack of papers the size of Gluttony in front of her. "You'll need to fill these out."

The fairy heard many groans from the people waiting in line behind her.

_'My sentiments exactly...'_

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Here" Amity huffed, handing each of the homunculi a piece of round paper with numbers on them.

"What are these?" Envy asked, looking at his.

"Our numbers. You peel of the backing and stick them to your shirt. They help identify us when we're dancing." The Conscience explained in a clipped tone. Her entire appearance was disheveled; her hat was on crooked, her hair was bushier than normal and her hand was cramping from all the papers she had to sign.

"What took so long anyway?" Envy prodded, an evil grin on his face.

"What took so long?" The blunette repeated in a deadly calm voice. "What took so long? **What the hell do you think took so long!?**" She snarled, her canine teeth glinting threateningly in the paper lantern light.

The homunculi all took a step backward.

"Do you have any idea how many freakin' ridiculous questions they ask on those entry forms?!" She screeched, her hair bushing out much like an angry cat's tail. " 'Do you have any past criminal records?' 'Do you have any food allergies? What is your birth year?' 'What is your Zodiac animal?' 'Have you been hospitalized in the past month?' **Why do they need to know any of that some something so simple as a dance contest!?**"

Lust opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted. "Not only did I have to fill out all those questions for myself, but for you and you and you and you and _you_!" She seethed, pointing to every homunculus, Envy being the last in line; her eyes narrowed into dangerous, deadly slits when she pointed at him "_You _are the one that started all of this! Do you have any idea how guilty you should be feeling right now!? Huh!? DO YOU!? I may never get feeling back in my right hand again because of you!"

"I-I-" Envy stuttered, suddenly feeling very afraid under the girl's intense stare. In fact, all the homunculi were.

"And you know what?" She hissed, taking a threatening step forward. The homunculi were all certain they saw their lives flash before their eyes...

"I forgive you!"

Five sets of eyes blinked owlishly. The blue haired girl smiled happily, clasping her hands behind her back. "I mean, it was only a _somewhat_ harmless prank, right? No hard feelings. Let's just let bygones be bygones!" She giggled, looking over her shoulder. "Well, we'd better get to the dance area, the contest will be starting any minute, and we don't want to miss our chance at winning those candy bars!"

Without waiting for a reply, she turned a skipped away; leaving five very dumbfounded homunculi in her wake.

"She's scary..." Gluttony whimpered, hiding behind Lust.

Pride caught himself before he could nod his head in agreement. The sins followed behind Amity, refusing to let their newfound fear show...

Though none came within five feet of her for the whole walk.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Number 37, Abigail Berkley!"

It was nearing midnight now. Amity watched as the mousy looking woman beamed brightly, running forward from the crowd and joining the line directly across from number 38, her partner Nicolas Ausburn.

The dance was nearing its start and Amity couldn't be more nervous; the dance was entire different than anything she's heard of back home. It starts with two lines of people, the people on the right being even numbers and the people on the left being odd numbers. You and your partner, one with an even number and the other with an odd, join the line and stand facing each other when your name and number is called. Then, once everyone was in their place, the dance would begin.

On the stage where the judges stood, a small example of the dance was given; it looked like a mix between a waltz and a square dance… simple enough, but fast. And, every few minutes, the caller calls 'Switch to your left!' or 'Switch to your right!' and you switch partners with another contestant. By the end of the dance, everyone is back with their original partners.

She gulped, watching another set run up and join the line; she prayed she wouldn't let Envy down; they needed to win those chocolate bars! Envy's very existence hung in the balance here! And if he died, Amity would too!

"Number 23, Edward Elric and number 24, Winry Rockbell!" The announcer called.

Amity smiled, watching the blushing Ed and the beaming Winry make their way into the forming lines. So they entered too? That would be fun to watch.

"Number 17, Amity Spicket and Number 18 Og…Ogilive Von Gopperbottom the Fourth…?" The speaker's statement became a confused question.

The air around the fairy dropped ten degrees; Envy slowly turned to face her, scowling. "You didn't…." He seethed.

"Apparently it's difficult for a shape-shifter to come up with his own original alias." Lust stated, looking over at said shape-shifter with exasperation. "Really Envy, it's quite sad."

"It's not like I picked it!" Envy hissed. Amity grabbed his wrist before he could leap over and throttle the mocking Lust, dragging him toward the line.

He grumpily stood in his line, shooting Amity a dirty look; she grinned devilishly back at him, mouthing '_Pay-back'_. The Pinocchio impersonator's mouth dropped open; she said she'd forgiven him for making her sign all those papers!

A few more names were called. Amity beamed happily when she saw Alphonse, along with the tinker-bell woman, Riza join the ranks. She figured Riza was probably a bit old for Alphonse, so she must be a friend and not his actual date.

"Number 4 King Fuhrer Bradley who prefers the to be address by his favorite nickname, Cuddlemuffin…" The announcer paled, realizing what he read aloud; as did a certain wrathful sin, who slowly met the Conscience's eyes with horror filled ones of his own. Pride snickered behind him.

Amity, grinning like a Cheshire cat, waved at him just like he had when he pushed his paperwork onto her.

"And Number 3, Selim Bradley who prefers to be called by his favorite nickname, Snookie-bear …"

Pride's face fell, turning a sickly shade of green. '_Snookie-bear?!'_

The Conscience, who every sin now fully believed was evil incarnate, smiled and waved happily at the young looking sin as he joined his pretend father in the lines.

Lust was starting to sweat nervously now. Did Amity come up with some horrid name for her as well? The blunette's grin was becoming disconcerting as more and more names were called. Lust was almost begging to the suspense to end.

"Number 33, Madame Bust E. Chest and Number 34, Sir Crunch N. Munch."

Lust slowly turned her gaze down to the number the was wearing on her shirt, praying to whatever deity out there she was mistaken, that her number was not…

33.

She narrowed her eyes at the blunette, wishing she'd never intervened and let Envy kill her when they first met. With her head held high to save whatever dignity she had left, Madame Bust E. Chest made her way into the line, along with her partner, Sir Crunch N. Munch.

Amity chuckled evilly to herself; ah, vengeance was sweet.

A few more names were called and much to Amity's horror, the giant mustached ballerina joined the dance as well.

'_What if I end up dancing with him!?' _She thought, her blood nearly freezing in terror.

"Thank you all for joining us tonight!" The perpetually cheerfully announcer called out into the crowd of costumed people, beaming happily at them all. "It is our pleasure to have you here!"

Clapping came from most of the dancers, save for the homunculi. The announcer's smiled broadened.

"The dance will start once the music starts to play. As said before, when it's time to switch dance partners, the caller will call 'Switch Right' or 'Switch Left'. We'll chose our winners based on being able to follow these calls, the skill of their dancing and, most of all, the fun they have doing it! Let's begin! Everyone get ready!"

Envy glared at Amity, almost as if he was regretting his choice to come to the dance in the first place. He tensed, almost like one does before a battle.

'_Just how is Envy expecting to dance with me anyway?' _Amity pondered fearfully, the color draining from her face. Envy wasn't exactly known for being gentle… he'd probably throw her into a bush by accident or something…

The music starting, nearly causing her to jump three feet into the air. It was loud and fast… with a lot of fiddles. Envy moved forward, like all the partners did, putting one arm around Amity's waste. The blunette quickly out her hand on his shoulder and took his other hand with her own.

They broke away from the line, dancing in quick, fast circles. They both danced stiffly and as far apart as they could possibly get.

She managed to catch some of the other couples dancing out of the corner of her eyes. Ed and Winry looked comical dancing together, not only because they were both trying to lead, but also because Ed was so much shorter than his female companion was.

Amity frowned… Were they wearing yet another set of different costumes?

"Why that-!" She heard Envy growl before he pulled her closer; almost too close.

"What?" She asked, looking over her shoulder in the direction Envy was. Greed smirked over at them, dancing with a very pretty young lady who looked as though she was enjoying every second of it more than she should.

"Oh." She sighed. Greed certainly made Envy clingier, that was for sure.

"Ow, don't step on my foot!" Envy hissed.

"Sorry _Ogilive._" She hissed back.

"I'm going to get you back for that one day." He grumbled, twirling her.

"You deserved it." She huffed, looking away from him.

They both danced in silence a little while longer before Amity chose to speak again. "I just remembered something."

"What?" Envy asked, though he didn't sound like he cared.

"You never did answer my question about the birds and the bees."

Envy blanched, his mouth moving up and down soundlessly. "I-I… umm…"

"Switch to your right!"

Amity heard Envy mutter "Thank god…" Before they broke apart and she was swept away into the arms of a stranger.

"Hello sweetheart." Her new partner purred, pulling her in even closer than Envy had.

Amity sighed in exasperation, looking up at Greed. Oh perhaps, simply just strange?

**.**

**.**

**.**

Lust parted from Gluttony, quietly reminding him not to eat anyone or anything before they did. She twirled elegantly out of her younger brother's hands into the arms of her next partner.

"Solaris!" The man, who was dressed like a frizzy haired female Hogwarts student exclaimed. "Or, um, is it Bus-"

"It's Solaris." Lust quickly corrected. "My friend thought it would be funny to sign me under that _other _name."

"Oh." He sighed with relief. "I think Solaris suites you better… It's prettier." He mumbled, blushing slightly.

Lust smiled coyly, leaning in closer. "Is my name the only thing that pretty?" She asked.

His blush deepened and he began stuttering incoherent words. Lust smirked.

She supposed things might be more entertaining that she first thought.

**.**

**.**

**.**

'_How could this have happened to me?' _Pride thought, horror filling his being. _'This… this isn't human! It's… It's fate worse than death!'_

"Worry not young Selim, dancing has been in the Armstrong family for generations!"

'_How did I get stuck dancing with Major Armstrong?!' _Crushed against said Major's chest and swept up off the ground, Pride continued to lament his bad luck. _'My shadow powers don't even work! His sparkles must be canceling them out somehow!'_

He growled. _'Wrath's ultimate eye saw him coming too, and he purposely positioned us so I would get stuck dancing with A__rmstrong instead of him!'_

His cheek started to go numb as Armstrong pulled the boy even tighter into his muscled chest, tears streaming down his eyes as he spoke of things Selim didn't really want to listen too.

Squirming a little in Armstrong's iron grip, Selim finally managed to turn his head, getting a glimpse of the traitorous Wrath, who was dancing with…

'_What is he doing dancing with __**my **__woman?"_ Pride mentally screamed, baring his teeth as he watched Wrath dance with his teacher, Nancy Monteith.

The arrogant sin narrowed his eyes. This wouldn't do. This wouldn't do at all.

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

Wrath danced with Miss Nancy. She wasn't a half bad human. Well mannered, polite, she had a good sense of humor and humility as well. She found it an honor to dance with the Fuhrer of the country, which was also a small bonus.

Yes, things were going quiet well… until he felt a chill go down his spine.

Slowly, he turned his head ever so slightly to get a glimpse of the one starring him down in such a cold manner. He was baffled to see Selim glaring with such intense hate, fire was nearly burning in his eyes. Wrath blinked, looking back down at the woman he was dancing with, wondering…

What could have caused such a strange reaction?

**.**

**.**

**.**

Gluttony frowned. He didn't see much point in all this twirling and going around and around in circles. It did nothing for his insatiable appetite; in fact it made it get worse. He whimpered slightly, looking up at the uncomfortable looking blonde girl.

"So, um, I'm Winry." She said with a nervous smile.

"Hello." Gluttony said. He wasn't entirely sure what to say to a human. Lust usually told him what to say to humans he couldn't eat… He sighed. "I can't eat you." He told the girl forlornly.

"…What?" She asked, her eyes widening.

"Lust told me I couldn't." He said. That should explain everything; after all, Lust was always right.

"Eh?" She asked, looking even more confused than before.

"Maybe she will let me eat you later." He hummed thoughtfully to himself.

"EH!?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

Greed pulled Amity even closer, leaning in towards her face. "Really, I don't know why you put up with him." He sighed, obviously referring to Envy.

Amity frowned, attempting inconspicuously pull away from his face. Why did he feel the need to be so close?

Her eyes widened, it was so obvious, why hadn't she thought of it before. Always pulling her closer to him, always leaning in towards her face; his intentions were crystal clear now!

He had poor eyesight!

She smiled to herself. Of course! That explained everything perfectly. She almost felt guilty for trying to lean away from him now.

"So toots, where do you live?" He asked, a small smirk on his lips.

"In a box mostly." She replied.

He stumbled a bit, looking surprised. "In… In a box?"

She shrugged. "Sometimes Envy's pockets if it's more convenient."

…

…

…

"Right."

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Oh crap." Envy groaned, looking at his partner.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Ed roared turning several dark shades of red, realizing he had to dance with another boy.

"I'm here for the Chocolate Cocoa something something bars." Envy sighed. "And would quit trying to lead? That's my job."

"Says who?!" Ed snapped, glaring.

"I'm the tallest one, so naturally…"

"WHO'RE CALLING A MIDGET PINT SIZED SHIRMP!?"

"You." The palm-tree haired homunculus answered simply. "And what's with the costume change? You didn't like be an itty-bitty-kitty?" He cooed, causing Edward to turn nearly purple with rage.

"I was a lion you blind idiot! And this costume was Winry's idea, not mine!"

"So, what are you supposed to be?" Envy asked again.

"W-We're supposed to be the three bears…" He grumbled. "And quit trying to lead!"

"It's my job to lead! And I'm guessing you got stuck with the roll of baby bear then?"

Ed nearly blew a gasket. "I'm the papa bear! Al is the baby bear!"

Envy snickered. "You coulda fooled me. You're more 'baby-sized'."

"WHO'RE YOU CALL SO SHORT THAT A GARDEN KNOME COULD BE TALLER THAN HIM!?"

"Would you quiet yelling, my eardrums are gonna bust!"

"Switch to your left!" The caller announced into the loudspeaker.

And, with sighs of relief, Envy and Ed parted.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Riza."

"Gracia."

Gracia chuckled nervously as the two attempted to dance in the lest awkward fashion as possible. "So, how have you and Roy been?"

"I've been doing well." The blonde woman in the Tinkerbelle costume replied kindly. "But Roy ate some candy and is now running around the city on a sugar high…"

Gracia blinked. "Shouldn't you go find him then?"

"I would have, but Alphonse didn't have a partner to dance with…" Riza sighed. "I didn't think suits of armor could give puppy-dog eyes, but he managed to do it."

Mrs. Hughes laughed.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Was the entire word conspiring to make his like a living hell? Because it was doing a fine job of it.

"Have you seen this picture of my daughter? Isn't she the most beautiful thing you've ever seen!?"

Envy was certain is should be physically impossible to a man to show you pictures and dance with you at the same time, but this man, Maes Hughes, managed to do it with infuriating ease.

"Oh, it seems I've run out of pictures of my daughter!" He wailed sadly. Envy breathed a sigh of relief.

"So I'll show you pictures of my wife instead!"

He cursed mentally. He swore someday, somehow, he would kill this man.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Lust tried hard not to laugh outright at the boy's expression while they danced; despite the fact it was quiet entertaining. "Are you not enjoying yourself?" She asked, looking down at him.

Edward Elric blushed deep crimson, turning his head away. He was the perfect height too get an eyeful of the woman's large chest if he was to look straight ahead. "I'm fine." He nearly squeaked.

The female sin bit back another laugh. Yes, this night was definitely proving to be more entertaining than she first thought.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"That kid is really starting to creep me out…" Breda muttered under his breath, looking over at the ten-year-old boy with dark hair who was glaring a Breda like he wished for him to spontaneously burst into flames.

Breda's partner, Nancy Monteith, blinked twice, looking over in the direction he was glaring in. "Oh, you mean Selim?"

"You know him?" Breda asked, raising an eyebrow at the lovely woman in his arms.

The teacher nodded, frowning slightly. "I wonder what's gotten into him…"

Breda didn't know, but let out a painful yelp. He was certain for an instant that something bit his foot. But when he looked, there was nothing there besides the ever changing shadows…

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Alphonse!" Amity laughed delightedly, looking up at her new partner.

"Oh, hello Amity! How are you?" The boy asked, twirling her gently.

She smiled, landing back in his arms. "I'm great! I've never been to a dance like this before; the music is so fast!"

Al laughed. "Yeah, I've never been to a dance like this before either."

"Hey, you changed your costume a little… you're wear a pair of bear ears." The blunette pointed out, cocking her head to the side as she looked up at him.

"Oh yeah, this was Winry's idea. We're the three bears." Al explained.

"So, you're the papa bear?" Amity inquired.

"Um, no, I'm the baby bear." He admitted with a hint of embarrassment.

She blinked. "Really? Huh, I thought Ed would've been the baby bear…"

Somewhere on the dance floor, a pint sized midget imploded.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Wrath stared at Jean.

…

…

…

Jean started at Wrath.

Wrath cleared his throat, but said nothing.

Jean shrugged his shoulders a bit.

…

…

…

It was a very awkward dance

**.**

**.**

**.**

"I can't eat you either." Gluttony informed the man he was dancing with sadly.

"Uh… um…" Fuery stuttered, looking down at the pumpkin clad sin. He wasn't sure if the man was joking, or if he was actually serious.

In the end, he decided he didn't want to find out.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"At least things can't get any worse." Falman consoled the love-struck Pride while he glared nastily at Breda.

"Don't say that." Pride hissed. "Whenever people say 'things can't get any worse' they always do!"

"Switch to your right!"

Spinning out of Falman's hands, Pride turned to face his new partner.

"Young Selim Bradley, we meet again!" The tall male cried, pink sparkles filling the air.

"I told yoooooouuuu!" Pride bellowed, once again being swept away into Armstrong's arms.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Envy's eyes widened with horror. "Oh-"

"-Crap." Greed finished, looking down disappointedly at Envy. "Aw man, I was hoping for a hot girl to dance with…"

"Shut up! I'm not enjoying this either!" Envy hissed back, his cheeks reddening with both anger and embarrassment; he attempted to stomp on Greed's foot when his avaricious older brother laughed.

"Easy there Pinocchio." Greed snickered, moving his foot back just in time.

"I am going to rip you limb from limb!" The palm-tree haired homunculus growled. "I swear, one day I will!"

"I'd like to see you try it." Greed scoffed.

"Gladly! Just name the time and place!"

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Havoc, is that you?" Ed asked, eyes wide.

"Yeah, it's me…" Jean sighed as Ed took in the frizzy wig and black robe.

"What happened to you?" The alchemist asked, mouth agape.

"I lost a bet and ended up coming as Hermione Granger."

…

…

…

Ed burst into tearful fit of laughter. "And I thought I had it bad!"

"Oh shut up baby bear!"

"I'M PAPA BEAR DAMN IT! I knew I should've made Alphonse wear a bib…"

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Why must you haunt me in this realm?!" Amity wailed. "I know you're upset that Harry killed you, but I did try to warn you it would happen! But did you listen to me? No, you were certain that since you were the 'Dark Lord' you could handle anything!"

Her partner was dumbstruck into silence, not knowing what to even say.

"Cross over to the other side in peace!"

Yes, Vato Falman was indeed regretting coming as Lord Voldemort.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"You're majesty King Fuhrer Bradley." Riza spoke politely, bowing her head since she could not salute.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye." Wrath spoke in acknowledgement.

…

…

…

"Where is Colonel Mustang? I presumed he was here with you." The human based homunculus; he noticed the young woman blush.

"It's quite a long story, sir."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Lust looked down at the blonde girl; Winry Rockbell, if she recalled correctly.

"So…" The blonde girl started, keeping as far away from Lust as possible while they danced.

"This is very…"

"Awkward?"

"My thoughts exactly."

**.**

**.**

**.**

Many sighs of relief were released when the called shouted. "Switch to your left!"

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Envy!"Amity exclaimed with relief, finding herself back into his arms.

"Amity." Envy said, looking serious. "If I'm dancing with you, that must mean the contest is nearly over…"

The fairy's blue eyes widened. "You're right! This is our last chance to impress the judges!"

"Right." The homunculus spoke determinedly.

Before she knew it, Amity found herself spinning around faster and faster in circles. Envy twirled, spun and danced with her unlike she'd ever experience before, he even lifted her up into the air once! Both were focused on dancing their best. And Amity became so focused, she didn't notice that in her next spin, she accidently stuck her foot out…

And accidently kicked Gluttony in the butt.

The force knocked the pudgy sin over, which in turn knocked Lust over. Lust knocked down Ed, Ed toppled over Winry who brought Alphonse to the ground… and the chaos just kept going.

"It's like human domino's…" Envy mused aloud; both he and Amity stopped dancing since, at some point and time, the band had been knocked over as well.

Soon, he and Amity were the only two left standing in a sea of toppled over people.

"Um… Well…" The called began, looking lost as to what he should say. No one saw Amity accidently kick Gluttony, so it all looked like a rather strange accident. "Well… Since number 17 and 18 are still standing, I suppose they're the winners…?" He asked the panel of judges, who all nodded their heads in agreement after quickly discussing amongst each other. "Congratulations number 17, Amity Spicket and number 18 Ogilive Von Gopperbottom the Fourth! You are the winners of our 15th annual Hallows End Dance Competition!"

Envy and Amity froze, processing the announcers words.

"We won?" Envy asked, his tone carefully even.

"Yeah… I think we did…" Amity spoke, dazed.

…

…

…

"We won!" Amity cheered, wrapping her arms around Envy's neck.

Envy, who was in such a state of overwhelming joy, hadn't noticed the fairy hugging him tightly. Grinning, he punched his fist into the air, Amity still clinging to his neck. "WE WON!"

**.**

**.**

**.**

Envy liked the feeling of being onstage, above all the other pathetic, miserable humans; he was even higher than his siblings! He also enjoyed the fact that he was wearing a nice, 1st place ribbon on his Pinocchio shirt. Amity looked happy too, waving enthusiastically at the other sins as well as Edward, Winry and Alphonse.

Envy saw Greed standing the crowd, pouting like the sore loser her was. Envy grinned and stuck his tongue out at him.

Yes, he thoroughly enjoyed being superior.

"And now we present you with a life-time supply of Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars!" The announcer man spoke joyfully. The red curtain behind the stage was pulled back, revealing the mountain of chocolate that Father demanded them to bring.

Envy grinned; and it would be _him _that took all the glory for bringing so many to Father. It would be he that received the praise.

"Not so fast!" A voice echoed from around them.

A gasp came from the crowd, pointing at the massive pile of chocolate bars. "Look!"

Envy turned, looking up at the top of the mountain of chocolate. His mouth dropped open. "Is that…?"

"Colonel Mustang, get down here this instant!" Riza commanded from the crowd, marching toward the foot of the pile and glaring at the Flame Alchemist up on it.

"Cowabunga!" The boxer clad and chocolate smeared Roy called, sliding down the pile like he was surfing, landing skillfully at the bottom. "There's gonna be a bonfire tonight!" The sugar-high man announced.

Envy blinked. Where did he get those gloves…? His eyes widened with realization.

"Oh-"

_SNAP!_

"Nnnnnoooooo!" Envy screamed, watching in slow motion at the Colonel Mustang lit the massive mountain on fire.

"Put it out put it out put it out!" Envy yelled, running around the pile like a chicken with its head cut off.

"Somebody call the fire department!" Lust ordered, marching over and attempting to help put out the fire.

Amity watched helplessly from the sidelines as their work literally went down in flames.

"Colonel!" Riza barked again, grabbing his by the earlobe and yanking down hard. "What do you think you're doing!?"

"We're gonna roast marshmallows!" He replied, gesturing proudly to the fire with both of his arms. "Just like when we were kids, you use ta love it!"

"… Colonel, you are sugar-drunk." Hawkeye sighed. "You always get like this when you're allowed to consume sugar…"

"I'm not as think you drunk I am." He replied smartly, sticking his tongue out at her. There was a pregnant pause; Roy cocked his head to the side. "Has anyone ever told you, you are one hot babe?"

Riza's mouth dropped open in shock; which turned out to be a big mistake as the chocolate covered Roy wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug, kissing her passionately on the mouth.

She squeaked, desperately trying to peel away from the sugar-crazed man. A bright flash of light blinded her momentarily.

"This one's a keeper!" Maes announced happily, looking up from his camera and earning a glare from Riza.

"I'm not getting in the middle of that." Jean announced, watching as their commanding officer made out with the less than willing 1st Lieutenant.

"Me neither." Breda agreed.

Fuery shook his head."Nope."

Falman sighed. "It'd be suicide to even try…"

"Such passionate love!" Armstrong sobbed, wiping his eyes with a handkerchief.

"Traitors!" Riza managed to yell before Roy captured her lips with his own once more.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"It's gone…" Envy croaked, looking down at the small pile of ash; the remnants on a once great mountain of chocolate. "All of it… nothing survived…"

Everyone had long gone from the park. All the stands had been shut down and moved. The firefighters did all they could to put out the fires, and managed to keep them from spreading. But, alas, the chocolate didn't survive.

"I'm sorry." Amity mumbled sadly, patting him on the shoulder. She didn't really know what else to say; all the words she could think of seemed inadequate for the situation.

Lust sighed, turning her head away from the pile. "It's over for us… we've failed."

"Father will be disappointed." Pride said, terror clearly written on his face. "I've never… I've never disappointed him before! I… I don't feel well… I'm not meant to be the disappointing one! That's what you are all for!"

Pride went ignored. Gluttony whimpered, hiding behind Lust. "I don't want Father to get mad at me…"

Wrath pinched the bridge of his nose. "I have half a mind to demote Colonel Mustang after such a shameful display."

Things grew quiet after that, each homunculus silent mourning their own demises.

Needless to say, it was a long, silent walk back home.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Where are my Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars?" Father asked, glaring menacingly down at his children.

Lust cleared her throat. "Father, there were some… _unexpected _turn of events…"

Envy hid in the back of the group while Lust attempted to explain that nights events so he could be the first to escape if (when) things got ugly.

"So, in other words, you, my glorious creations who are superior to humans every way shape and form, failed a task as simple as collecting my favorite treat?" Father asked, his voice deadly calm.

The homunculi all winced at the tone. "Father…" Pride began.

"Perhaps I should've sent my mindless zombie army instead!" He bellowed, shaking the room to its core. "At least they might have produced some results!"

"Hey everyone!" Amity called, beaming happily.

"Amity, now is not the time for-" Envy began, but was cut off by the blunette.

"Guess what I found in my hat!" She grinned, holding her top- hat in her hands. "Uh, _besides_ my stuffed frog Norman.

…

…

…

"Inside your hat?" Lust deadpanned.

"Yes, my hat." Amity repeated, her grin not even fading.

"A white rabbit?" Envy asked sarcastically.

"Nope." She giggled. "Any other guesses?"

"Amity, we don't have time for-" Pride started.

"Oh, believe me, you'll find time for this." The Conscience spoke; a mischievous look in her eyes. "Ta-da!"

And there, in her hands was none other than a Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars.

Envy's mouth dropped open. "Where did you get…?"

"Remember that game I told you I played coming back from the restroom? I won this bar there, remember!" Amity grinned even broader. "We left to go play more games, so I put this candy-bar in my hat for safe keeping!"

"Bring it to me." Father commanded.

Slowly, Amity walked over toward the blonde man, stretching her arm out and handing him the candy bar. Father reached for the bar, taking it from the fairy's delicate hands. He unwrapped it, revealing the chocolate substance underneath the wrapper. Then he slowly raised it to his lips, biting down…

Tears came to his eyes, flowing down his cheeks. "Excuse me, but I need to be alone." He choked, looking dreamily at the candy bar.

The homunculi fled the room, relief washing over them in waves. They lived! They survived Halloween!

Amity turned toward the group, shutting the doors to Fathers room behind her. "Well-"

Whatever she was going to say was drown out when Lust, Wrath, Gluttony, Pride and Envy pounced her, wrapping their arms around her and forming the biggest homunculi made group hug in existence.

"I take back everything I ever said about you!" Envy sobbed, squeezing her tightly. "You are the most wonderful Conscience a homunculus could hope for!"

"I'll never wish to let my shadows eat you again!" Pride cried.

"And I won't daydream about running my fingernails through your heart."

"And I'll let you call me Wrathbeard whenever you like."

Amity grinned happily. In the end, everything turned out all right!

… But she couldn't help but feel like they were forgetting something…

**.**

**.**

**.**

Sloth woke up in a bleary daze, glancing around at his surroundings. He wondered for a second why he wasn't in his tunnel and why there were colorful little boxes stacked all around him.

He yawned, closing his eyes and falling back asleep. Oh well, it probably wasn't important anyway…

**.**

**.**

**.**

_Author's Note_

…

…

…

_ .Gosh._

_HAS IT BEEN A MONTH ALREADY!?_

_Well, so much for 'I hope to have this uploaded by next week' huh?_

_I am so, so ,so ,so sorry! I have a bunch of excuses, but I'll only say that times flies way too fast,_

_life is weird, and I happen to have a PhD in procrastination…._

_So, I hope you all aren't too angry with me… Heh heh…._

_So,so sorry everyone! *bows head in shame*._

_All tips, comments and critiques are welcome if anyone is willing to offer it._

_I appreciate any help I can get with my writing :)_

_~Fyuro_

**.**

**.**

**.**

A Special Thanks to Reviewers Like You!

"Pop quiz! Who knows how many pages long this chapter was, not counting this bonus skit?"

Lust, Pride, Wrath and Envy all groaned. Gluttony looked at his siblings, wondering what was wrong.

Envy sighed. "Amity, nobody cares about that."

The blunette pouted. "Why are you all such spoil-sports?" Sighing, she placed her hands on her hips. "Fine, since none of you want to guess, the answer is 43."

"… The author wrote 43 pages of senseless garbage?" Pride asked, his eyes twitching.

"43 pages of grammatically incorrect senseless garbage." Wrath added.

"Hey, the author is working on it!" The Conscience valiantly defended her creator.

"Where are we anyway?" Lust asked, gazing upon the blank white nothingness that surrounded them.

"The Void." Wrath, Pride and Envy answered with distaste.

"… Why are we in 'the Void'?" She inquired, raising a delicate eyebrow.

"To answer our reviewers!" Amity spoke cheerily, holding a stack of paper in her hands.

"Reviewers?" Lust asked, both eyebrows nearly disappearing in her hair line.

"Can I eat that?" Gluttony asked, receiving a sharp 'No' in reply from Amity. "There's nothing to eat in here." He whimpered, sucking on his own finger.

"Alright, let's get onto the first one!" The fairy beamed, pulling out the first review.

"_Oh, this is wonderful! *tugs on Envy's hair* Really? It's sensitive?  
*Hands everyone chocolate* Here's your Halloween chocolate! I hope you like it!  
Oh! Envy, I saw someone dressed as you for Halloween__! It was awesome! I talked to them and then I tugged on his hair because I didn't know it was a wig... I feel so dumb.  
Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter! This is hilarious to read!"_

_~ Chubaca Thomas Jefferson III_

"Would you people leave my hair alone!?" Envy barked, using his hands to flatten his dark locks down. "And yes, my hair is sensitive."

"Thank you for the chocolate!" Amity thanked, taking her own candy. "We really needed that after everything that happened tonight."

"Don't remind me." Pride growled, taking a bite of his candy bar.

"Chubaca saw someone dressed up as me for Halloween?" Envy asked with peaked interest. "Can't say I've ever heard of that before."

"I hope you're satisfied with this chapter." Amity laughed, finishing off her own candy.

Wrath sighed. "Considering everything we had to do, they had better be…"

"Onto our next review!"

"_Aw man I love this story so fudgin much! XD Whenever I see you posted a new chapter I feel like a happy dance is in order. Keep up the awesome __and hilarious work :3_

Oh and PS I love Amity! She's always so happy and optomistic when the Sins are so...is dark the right word? It's a great twist on everything"

_~GoldenxDreamer_

"Nice to know you are enjoying the story." Amity beamed. "And people like me!"

"Only because they don't have to put up with you." Envy snorted. "They'd be singing a different turn if they had to be with you 24/7."

Amity glared at him. "Hey, you guys are no picnic either!"

"I believe dark is the correct word when used to describe us." Lust spoke, reading the review over Amity's shoulder.

"Especially me." Pride grinned.

"Next one!"

"_CUTE!  
i love the little halloween bonus material, it's cute!  
aww, Envy in a pinochiio costume  
QUICK! someone with awesome artisti__c skills should draw him like this and upload it immediately! O.O_

Amity, i have a question:  
do you think you have gotten Envy to open up to you in one way or another?

sexy Palm-tree i also have a questions  
what would you prefer?  
getting glomped/harassed/raped by various fangirls at once, or getting glomped/harassed/raped by Edward? o.O  
love this story!"

_iAnneart01_

Envy turned a shade of purple, his eye twitching. "I-If I had to choose…. Wha…."

"Envy… Envy… Breath!" Lust commanded, noticing that he had quit doing so.

_THUNK!_

"He collapsed!" Amity wailed, looking down at the fainted Envy.

"I suppose the mental images were too much for him to handle." Wrath sighed, watching as Lust attempted to shake the palm-tree impersonator awake.

"Umm... I guess while Lust tries to revive Envy, I'll answer my question. " The fairy began. "I do think he's changed a teeny-tiny-little-itty-bitty-bit… but I think that's mostly because since he can't kill me, he has to adapt."

"I-I can see a light at the end of the tunnel…" Envy murmured in his incapacitated state.

"Envy! Listen to me, don't go to the light!" Lust called dramatically, shaking him by the shoulders.

"Um… I'll read the next review."

"_I laughed so much while reading your story and every chapter you write bring me joy x)_

Sereously though, cant wait for the nect chapter x3

Fuzzy Fuzzball

P.S. *enters the void through magic portal, stalks up to envy woth an evil ( & sadistic) grin on her face...

And messses up his hair!*  
SO FLUFFY PALMTREE HAIR 3333"

_~Cute Fuzzball_

"DON'T MESS WITH THE HAIR!" Envy roared, hopping to his feet.

"Thanks Cute Fuzzball! Apparently, messing up his hair is the key to his revival!" Amity cried happily.

"Why must you all touch my hair?" Envy hissed. "I don't use portals, sneak up on you and fluff your hair! Why are reviewer's obsessed with mine?!"

Lust sighed, putting a hand on his shoulders. "Envy, it's better not to question the motives of the readers. It will only bring heartache and headache."

"We're so glad you're enjoying the story and we hope you liked this chapter… Again, the author apologizes for taking so long to write it. Now, let's move on to the next review…"

"_*Stares at box that has N.R in it__, smiles evily* I know just what to do! *Takes off stamps, re-paints box and puts a sticker that says 'TOMATOES' in big read letters. Goes into a forest and sets it down next to another box that looks exactly it, sets up camera* This will be great! Thanks for giving me the idea, now I'll have more blackmail later! If you need help makeing cookies i could send some over, that might help. *sends* hope you get them soon! My friend Izah says hi. :O)"_

_Kashagal and Natures Ruler_

"Thank you for the cookies! This'll help pay our rent fees!" Amity laughed, taking the box of cookies and setting it down on the 'floor' of the void.

"We're glad to assist you in black-mail." Envy said proudly.

"I just hope that N.R arrived safely and without too many head injuries…" The blunette said worriedly, chewing on her lower lip and fidgeting with her hands.

"You really are pathetic." Pride sighed, giving the fairy a look of exasperation.

Amity shrugged her shoulders. "I can't help it, it's who I am. Thank you for the review, and tell Izah hello for us! Next review coming up!"

"_Amity and Envy would be such a cute couple!"_

_~Neusuada_

…

…

…

Envy blinked.

…

…

…

Amity blinked.

…

…

…

And then she blinked again.

…

…

…

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Envy screeched, scampering away from the review as though it might bite him. He made an 'x' with his fingers. "Burn the review! Burn it!"

Amity turned pink. "O-Oh… Um… That's a very n-nice… um… review…"

Lust smiled lavishly. "You know, you two would make an excellent couple." She teased.

"Are you kidding?!" Envy shrieked. "We're always trying to kill each other!"

"Actually, you're the one who tries to kill me-"

"The death threats and arguments are just way to hide your burning, undying passion for one another." Pride explained sardonically; a wicked grin forming on his face.

Envy turned purple. "P-P-P-P-PASSION!? Are you insane!?"

"Next review!" Amity squeaked, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"_This was a really good bonus chapter I loved it I also love all of this story. Amity you can do it. You can change Envy I believe in you. Also Envy you are so cool. I just love love love you. Excuse me but I am a very huge sadist. My family even agrees with me. One more thing since your duck tape got stolen Envy I give you this portable portal that has an unending supply of duck tape. Sorry world I salute you for the end.  
P.S. Envy I also give a really big...dun.. ... CHOCOLATE CAKE!"_

_~Darkx1xAngel_

"There are sadists everywhere you turn." Envy grumbled. "But at least you're willing to admit it."

"Thank you for the words of encouragement!" Amity beamed. "I'll do my best, believe me!"

"I am cool." Envy bragged. "And thank you for your gifts of duct-tape and portable portal." He grinned, holding the portal-portal in his hand. "See you around losers!" He pressed the button on the box…

And nothing happened.

"What the…" Envy turned the box upside down. "What do you mean 'batteries not included'!?"

Amity giggled. "At least you have this chocolate cake." She attempted to console, holding up the large cake in her hands.

"…I suppose that does ease the pain of disappointment. "Envy conceded, taking the cake from Amity.

Grinning while his hands were full, Amity dashed over, taking Envy's unending supply of duct tape. Quicker than lightning, she drew a transmutation circle around the pile, placing her hands on the circle. The duct-tape disappeared without a trace.

"What did you do?!" Envy wailed mournfully. "You shouldn't even be able to do alchemy!"

"How am I supposed to change you if my mouth is duct-taped shut?" She asked with a huff. "So, I decided to trade your unending supply of duct-tape for something else."

"If it's magic beans, I swear-"

"You'll see later." She winked. "Onward to the next review!"

"_Nnooooo! Not kimbley! T-T (no offense but for some odd unknown reason I just don't like kimbley...AT ALL!) and great chapter! Hahah! Chocolate! :3. What type of candy does Envy like? And Wat about amity? (__I'll try to hold back my fangirl side...) *...hugs Envy* I can't help it! He's just wayyyy! Toooo cute!"_

_~Chencar_

"Kimblee is pretty … unusual." Lust spoke. "So I can see why you may not like him…"

" And my favorite candy is chocolate, actually." Envy spoke, licking his lips.

The fairy frowned thoughtfully. "Cat-food probably doesn't count as a type of candy, so my favorite kind of candy is caramel! Especially chocolate with caramel inside! Yum!"

"I wish people would quiet hugging me…" Envy groaned, smoothing the wrinkles out of his clothing.

"I would like a hug…" Amity sighed.

"I'd give you mine if I could."

"Your fans wouldn't be too happy with that." Amity giggled. "Besides, you need all the hugs you can get! Next review!"

"_Yay an update!__:D_

I am so glad you made a Halloween chapter and dressed up the homunculi! XD Happy belated birthday by the way :)

What made this chapter even better is that there is another part coming after this one :D

Envy has a name change I see... Ogilive Von Gopperbottom the Fourth. I love you Amity! XD!

But Envy, it could be worse! You could be stuck with the Winny the Pooh outfit (sorry Pride...)

Thanks for the super long chapter! I can't wait for more! :D

Scarlet"

_ScarletNinja1026_

"The author thanks you for the birthday wishes!" Amity chimed happily. "And thank you for the love! I need as much of it as I can get when living with a bunch of grumpy people like these guys."

"My name change is not funny!" Envy snapped. "It's.. . it's a crime against naming!" He stopped to snicker. "Though I admit I'd rather be Pinocchio than Winnie the Pooh!"

"I didn't choose that costume for myself!" Pride snapped.

"No, the Haaaaaand of Faaaaate did." Amity said, putting on her best 'Madame Rosa' accent. "And, in the words of our favorite costume shop owner, Tiiime for the neeeext reeevieeeew!"

"_This might be the longest review I've had on here, but I'm proud of it!_

Father has a good taste in candy,

_Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin sounds like an awesome bar._

I want minions now, do you think anyone would mind if I kidnapped the homunculi and made them my minions? We could take over the world!

I think I might have said something similiar before but I will say it again, Wrath Pirate Epicness

Armstrong as a ballarina...it's scary that it doesn't sound like something he wouldn't do...

Envy! She could have named you Gaylord Athanasius Von Bosworth De Augsburg.

Aww...Pride is so adorable in his costume!"

_~Ikarai_

"Alas, we'll never know how a Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bar tastes." The blunette lamented. "And yes!" She cried, her eyes gleaming brightly as sparkles danced around her. "Wrath is the most epic pirate of all time!"

Wrath coughed awkwardly. "Yes… Thank you Amity."

Lust shuddered. "The image of Armstrong in a tutu will forever be embedded into my mind…"

"… I have suddenly gained a fondness for Ogilive…" Envy spoke.

"… I can't decide if I should be furious or flattered at that comment." Pride frowned, re-reading the review.

"Alright! Next review!"

"_I love the idea of halloween, totally awesome. My first full metal alchemist oc story I've read! I love sexy Env__y (but i would never ever get caught being called a fangirl).Q and A time, Miss Spicket, did you know, that a human/fairie eats approximately a pound of bugs (not including ones processed in food) a year, also cats eat more since they see bugs as something to eat, so that cat most likely saw you as food. Thirdly, did you know cat food is food that cats eat, when they are kept as humans pets.  
Envy, Ahh the best sin even the holiest of priests feel it! Favorite animal?  
Pride, smexy pride, what was your most prideful moment?  
Lust, who do you lust for.  
Wrath, favorite hat, yes hat.  
Gluttony, favorite meal?"_

Lawliette

"And, as usual, people love me." Envy boasted, much to Pride's annoyance.

"Alright, questions! Um…. No, I didn't know that people eat one pound of bugs every year…" She shuddered. "Gross! Um… Okay, so that cat thought I was a bug… But that doesn't mean I have to like cats! And how could humans feed something as delicious at cat-food to cats! It's horrible!"

"My favorite animal?" Envy asked, blinking. He snickered. "Actually, my favorite animal is cats… but I also like snakes… and dragons… dragons are awesome."

"I'm… smexy?" Pride blinked owlishly.

"I suppose you are for a ten year old." Lust commented dryly.

The arrogant sin glared at her. "I'm over 300 years old. And my most prideful moment constantly changes. But currently, it's when Miss Monteith said I wrote the best essay in the entire class."

Wrath raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Why would you care about something as insignificant as that?"

"There's a more pressing question at the moment: What does Lust lust for?" Pride asked, narrowly dodging a question he really didn't want to answer.

"The same thing every woman does," Lust spoke, a coy smile play on her lips. "Chocolate."

"Okay Wrathbeard, what is your favorite hat?" Amity asked.

"I see no reason to tell you." The Fuhrer responded coolly.

"100 Sens says it's a Sombrero." Envy whispered into the Conscience's ear, causing her to giggle.

"Or a pirate hat." She whispered back.

"My money's on one of those beanie hats." Pride snickered.

"What about those chef's hats?" Lust suggested, smirking.

"For your information, I prefer the hats worn by the military for formal occasions." Wrath finally admitted.

"That's boring." Envy sighed in disappointment.

"Gluttony, what is your favorite meal?" Lust asked.

"My favorite thing to eat?" Gluttony began salivating at the thought. "Little girls!"

Amity turned a sickly shade of green. "L-Little girls...?"

"Does that include fan-girls?" Envy asked, leaning over slightly.

Gluttony nodded.

"Gluttony, ol' buddy ol' pal of mine!" Envy cried, opening his arms wide and hugging the chubby sin.

"There's nothing quiet as sweet as brotherly love. " Amity sighed happily. "Next!"

"_Wow. Wowowowow__owowowowowwow...This has to be the best fanfic I have ever read. It brings a certain song to mind...  
Boys and girls of every age,  
wouldn't you like to see something strange?  
Come with us and you will see  
Homunculi dressed for Halloween!(wink)  
Yeah!  
Amity, you so totally rock!  
Watch out for Barry the Chopper. He could easily 'chop' you when you're not tall. Friendly advice for Envy:  
1, since your power is shapeshifting, your greatest strength is manipulation. 'Fullmetal Pipsqueak' is more than a match for you... unless you were to shift into the form of his younger brother...  
2, Alphonse (the armor guy, Amity) loves cats. Give yourself green cat ears and tail and he won't have the heart to kill you. In fact, he might adopt you and give you...cat food!  
3, DON'T KILL HUGHES! Colonel Roy Mustang will fry your eyes, your face, your skeleton, even your HAIR. And I know how much you love your hair...  
4, Finally, (this is an open invitation to all Homunculi who're annoyed at their Father)I am planning to take over the world. Interested?_

U. N. Noun"

_~ Guest_

"Don't encourage the author! It's… It's like giving Colonel Mustang a truck-load of sugar! It is dangerous to our health!"

"I like the song, I can almost hear it in my head!" Amity laughed. "This story needs a theme song! And thank you for the praise! I'll be sure to keep an eye out for Barry."

"I could beat the pipsqueak blindfolded!" Envy scoffed "Humans are no match for homunculi!"

"Alphonse has cat food?" Amity asked, drooling at the thought. "Aw man, why couldn't I have been his Conscience?!"

"Thanks for the warning, but I'll take my chances. Besides, how could possibly even know all this? There are no such things as psychics…"

"Why can't you just take the warning and thank the reviewer?" Amity huffed, placing her hands on her hips.

"I don't need help from humans!"

"We will take your offer of world conquest into mind, however. After tonight, I'm beginning to doubt Father's capabilities... And sanity." Wrath spoke.

"Let's move onto the next review!"

"_Oh my garsh... this story is just lovely.  
Even though Envy isn't my fav homunculus, he's pretty cool in this story.  
And Pride is soooooooo adorable! But he's also really badass, so he's like two characters in one! :D  
I actually have 3 que__stions for Amity:  
First, do you have any fetishs?  
If not, would you want it to be any kind of metal?  
It'd actually be pretty cool if this story ended up as a AlxAmity, I'd so support that."_

_HomunculusInsanity_

"Glad you like the story!" Amity beamed happily.

"I am still cool… even though I'm not your favorite…. Your favorite had better not be Greed, by the way, or I will have to hunt you down."

"Envy, quit scaring the reviewers!" Amity scolded, smacking him upside the head. "And now for your questions… uh, wow, all for me? I'm flattered! Um, do I have any fetishes? Well…" Amity tapped her chin in thought. "Do teddy bears count? I don't know why, but I'm can't resist them!"

"I guess that could count." Lust relented.

"Actually, I think about what kind of metal I would want to be a lot. And if I could any kind of metal, it would be tin! Because then I could be a pie tin and hold all the pies!"

"… Pie tins are made of aluminum, you realize." Envy spoke with raised eyebrows.

"Wh-what?" She gasped, tears forming in her eyes.; she dropped to her knees and cried out. "No! My dreams have been foiled!"

"_Tin _foiled." Pride snickered.

"Ha ha ha." Amity laughed dryly. "… What is an AlxAmity?"

"It's a pairing." Lust explained.

"A pairing? Like me and Envy?"

"Envy and I." Pride corrected.

Amity's eye went impossibly wide. "But you're brothers! You can't be romantically involved!"

Envy and Pride turned dark red. "Oh, the mental images you just put into my head!" The palm-tree one cried, covering his eyes with his hands in hopes to block them out.

"You are sick!" Pride hissed. "I was correcting your grammar, you idiot!"

"Oh." Amity sighed. "Well that's a relief! So, does this AlxAmity and EnvyxAmity have anything to do with the birds and the bees?"

Lust chuckled darkly only. "Only if it's a lemon fic… or rated 'M'."

"What a love triangle that would be." Wrath chuckled alongside Lust, much to Envy's horror.

"Triangles? 'M's? Lemons? What does that have to do with birds and bees?" Amity asked, completely baffled. "They have nothing in common!"

Envy ripped a review out of Amity's hands. "I'll read the next review!"

"_"Ogilive Von Gopperbottom the Fourth!"  
I just about laughed till I cried XD_

_Speaking of which, this fic has made me burst out laughing more than any other fic I've read in a while. The idea of Envy having a pocket sized conscence nattering at him is...*shakes head laughing* utterly priceless! And watching him get mauled by fangirls at the end of every chapter...just wow xD I can't say I blame him for going OOC. Amity is lovable. I am torn and confused as to her hair color, since until the most recent chapters I thought she was a brunette lol it's possible I just misread blunette *shrug* although blue and green are my two favourite colours so I can't complain lol. I am quite looking forward to more! sadistic? Meh, not as much as Envy. Who, by the way, I feel quite sorry for. Amity and fangirls. It's like his own tailor made version of hell lol. Id join in on the fun but I can't bring myself to go fangirl on a guy who would rather torture me to death than look at me :P  
That said, ive had to accept that a strange twisted part of me has slowly grown to really quite like a certain psychopathic, sadistic, murderer...he's decidedly the best, most interesting and entertaining villain in FMAB.  
Pride, I have to admit, you're pretty darn cute, but unfortunately you'll never be able to hold a candle to Wrath from the 2003 anime. At least not for me anyway  
Wrath from Brotherhood will never be the same...I will forever see the ghost of a parrot on his shoulder xD  
Lust...of all the characters I strangely find her the most in-character. But you've done an awesome job with Envy too. He's a tough character to write.  
I'm sure I'm forgetting something...oh!  
Dr Seuss Homunculi epic win. I don't know where you came up with the idea but it's awesome xD  
Please keep writing this story! It's really enjoyable :)  
*tosses earplugs to Envy, cat food to Amity and chocolate chip cookies to Truth*  
Enjoy!  
P.S. earplugs, while less satisfying, are easier to use than duck tape lol"_

_~Kasani_

"Awesome, super long review!" Amity cheered all thoughts of birds and bees gone, much to Envy's upmost relief.

"I'm so glad you find my misery amusing." Envy spoke with heavy sarcasm.

"We're so glad you find this story entertaining." Amity said with her usual bright smile. "And sorry about confusing you with my hair color. Yes, I do have blue hair. And the author has written 'blunette' throughout the story, not 'brunette'… even though blunette isn't even a word…."

"You explained it perfectly; this story is my own tailor made version of hell." Envy said with a sigh.

"It can't be that bad…" Amity mumbled quietly.

"That's because you're not me. And I appreciate you not fangirling me! In fact, if I were to meet you on the street, I would give you a painless death because of it."

"Envy!"

"What? It's better than what I'm planning on doing to those fan-girls once I get a hold of them!"

Pride looked between the review and Wrath. Incredulously "I don't care what 'version' he is. There is no way _he _can be cuter than me!"

"Wrath will forever be a pirate." Amity sighed, saluting him.

Wrath sighed exasperatedly, but saluted the fairy back anyway.

"I'm glad you find me in character." Lust said, reading the review. "Speaking on the author's behalf, she was worried I was actually very out of character… in the actual story, not these silly Halloween skits and bonus chapters."

"Yeah… the person Fyuro has the hardest time writing for actually is Wrath."

"Me?" Wrath asked.

"She just can't seem to get your character down. That's why you're pretty useless throughout most of the chapters."

"We will never speak of Dr. Seuss again." Pride said with finality. "It will forever remain a secret."

Three loud pops ensued shortly after. Revealing a set of earplugs in Envy's hands, a small bag of cat-food in Amity's and another small package of cookies for Truth.

"Thank you!" Amity sang, pulling out a handful of cat-food and shoving it into her mouth. "Mmm… 9Lives, my favorite!"

The homunculi all turned pale shades of green, averting their eyes as she continued to munch. "And –I'm only going to say this one time – thank you for the earplugs." Envy thanked gruffly, shoving them into his pocket.

"Onward to our final review!" Amity cried dramatically, placing a hand over her heart.

"_Haha! This is awesome! Amity is really one of the best OCs I've read about.  
Keep up with the good work! :D  
(*__snicker* Wrathbeard. Genius!)"_

_~Joselyn_

Amity nearly glowed with joy. "Thank you so so much!"

"And don't worry, Fyuro isn't done torturing us any time soon." Envy sighed.

Lust shook her head. "It's ridiculous what we've been reduced to."

"Now that the reviews are over." Envy began, turning to the fairy. "Give me back my duct-tape."

"I traded it to Truth." She sighed again.

"For what!?"

She snickered evilly. "In 3… 2… 1…"

_POOF!_

Smoke filled the room, causing everyone to cough and gag as it filled their lungs. Slowly, it faded, revealing Envy…

In a Winnie the Pooh costume.

"Amity…" He growled through grit teeth., clenching his now yellow furred hands into fists.

"Yes?"

"Run."

Grinning, she cast a two-fingered salute at the reader's computer screens. "Thanks for reading Fyuro's Halloween bonus chapter! I'll let Lust take it from here!" She winked before dashing off into the distance, followed by a screaming Envy.

Sighing, the lascivious sin turned toward the screens of the viewers. "The author appreciates any help, tips and critiques she can get for her atrocious writing. Review, or we will use Gluttony to hunt you down and allow him to devour you whole."

Gluttony grinned, drool dripping from his mouth and pooling onto the floor

"That's all for now, thank you for reading."

**.**

**.**

**.**

**This chapter was 55 pages long and had over 20, 800 words.**

**For the sake of my poor cramping fingers and burnt eyeballs…**

**REVIEW!**

**Thanks again!**


	11. Chapter 08

Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking

Chapter 08

What is A Conscience?

Paper Flower Lullabies and the 5th Laboratory

**.**

**.**

**.**

_This is what I see, _

_Emptiness in me_

_This is how I feel, _

_This is what is real_

_I can't put back, _

_What is now fading black_

_I can't replace _

_What is being erased_

Erased

~Dead by April

**.**

**.**

**.**

_Memories slipped by her like falling drops of rain; fading into streams of pictures, voices, knowledge and feelings as she sped past them; being pulled faster and faster by some unseen force. Plummeting like a falling star. The child closed her eyes tightly, feeling the memory of her own name slip between her tiny fingers. Faces of people she thought she may have known evaporated into the atmosphere, turning to smoke, leaving behind only a vague feeling of forgetting something important behind. She nearly forgot how to breathe. The child called out for someone, anyone, to come save her. The image of a warm, smiling lady's face bending down to her height and ruffling her hair came to the girls mind. The child felt her heart leap with hope. Yes, she wanted that person! She wanted to be with that person so badly that her entire being ached__..._

_Why wasn't that lady coming?_

_The smiling face lingered a moment longer, before slowly, completely, fading black. The little girl opened her mouth to scream._

_Then it stopped._

_Gasping for oxygen, the child collapsed to her knees. She was aware that there was white all around her, and no floor, wall, tree or stone to be seen. It was empty... like a giant blank piece of white paper. Swallowing thickly, the child stood, turning several circles too look around the white void. Where was she? __**Who **__was she? She searched her mind in vain for some sort of clue. Besides her rampaging emotions, there was not a memory to be had. Only complete emptiness._

_"Where am I?" She asked quietly, her question echoing inside the white void, mocking her._

_"Welcome."_

_She screamed in fright, stumbling back a few steps. In front of her was a person. Only, he-she__**-it**__ was entirely white... and had no eyes or hair. It also looked like it was her size, but it was a little hard for the child to tell, since it was sitting on the floor._

_"Hello..." The child spoke timidly, eyeing the stranger with curiosity__.__ The two stared at each other for a moment, before her small voice broke the silence "Um, 'xcuse me, but where am I?" _

_It grinned. "You are at the place where all the departed souls in the universe go once they have passed on from the mortal world." The child blinked twice, thinking whoever this was said funny-sounding things that she didn't understand. "So, how did it feel?" It asked when she didn't reply__._

_"H-how did what feel?" She inquired, startled by the questioned._

_"To die."_

_"...Die?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper. Dread suddenly twisted bitterly in her stomach, making her heart speed up and ice fill her veins. Dying was bad. Dying meant she'd no longer be with the people she really cared about..._

_Did she have people she cared about?_

_"Yes. You're dead."_

_Breathing suddenly became harder. "I'm..."_

_"Dead."_

_She fell back down onto her knees. "I-I'm d-d..." Tears welled up into her eyes, she hiccupped, vigorously rubbing her leaking eyes__."__I-I don't wanna be… I- I want to go…"_

_Go where?_

_"You can't." The white-thing spoke with no emotion or pity in its voice; only cold, hard fact._

_Truth._

_She rubbed her eyes vigorously; her salty tears falling from them like a cascading waterfall down her cheeks and onto the white abyss floor._

_It tsked. "Such a shame, really. Five years old really is such a young age to die."_

"_I-I wanna go… I don'__t wanna b-be here." She sobbed again, her tiny fingers now clutching the material of her shorts, as though it was the only thing keeping her tethered to the ground._

"_I'm afraid I can't do that." It said again, __apathetically watching the crying child before it._

_Why? She just wanted to go home. What was so wrong about that?_

"_We can, however__, discuss your options. How would you feel about becoming a Conscience?__"_

_A Conscience?_

"_Wh-What's that?"_

_Her vision slowly grew clouded by a black haze, the things voice began to fade away from her._

"_Your new body isn't ready yet though… I guess I'll have to keep you here for a while. But you'll have to find something to give to me in exchange."_

_A new sight cleared before her. A pretty, middle-aged woman stood near a sink, holding a plate in one hand and a small towel in the other. Other people were busy shuffling around in the room… a kitchen, it looked like. A mouth-watering aroma of cooking food filled the space._

_A woman in front of the sink sighed, staring down the small girl before her. "I thought I told you to stay home with Nana." She narrowed her eyes slightly. "You shouldn't wander off on your own like that, you might get lost one day."_

"_I'll be just fine, mama! I'm a big girl!" The child protested; placing her hands on her hips stubbornly. "And I don't like Nana; she's boring, doesn't let me play pirate king in the house and her mean cat won't let me pet it. " She wrinkled her nose in disgust, sticking out her tongue. "_And _Nana smells like dirty litter-box, it's gotta be unsan…-unsanu… uninsanititiary! You don't want me to hang around uninsanititiary people, __**do**__**you**__?" She asked seriously__._

_The woman blinked at her child a moment. She snickered, putting a hand over her mouth to try to restrain herself; her shoulders shaking in surpressed laughter before the woman finally caved and dissolved into fits of giggles._

"_I am being __**serious **__over here!" The child yelled, failing her arms and glowering at her mother__._

_The woman laughed again, bending down and ruffling the girls her tenderly. "Oh, what am I going to do with you?" She asked, tilting her head to the side__._

_The little girl managed to smile too, leaning into her mother's palm, feeling the warmth trickle from the woman and into her own small body._

_Suddenly, warmth evaporated into thin air, replaced with the bitter cold. The child opened her eyes. Her mother had been replaced by a different person entirely. She stood, frozen._

_Such pretty eyes…_

**.**

**.**

**.**

Amity woke with a start, losing her balance and falling underneath the warm surface of the water. The fairy resurfaced, spluttering and coughing in an attempt to rid her lungs of the water she's just inhaled. She took a deep, calming breath and closed her eyes, trying to remember what she had been dreaming of.

She frowned, opening her bright blue orbs. She couldn't remember even the slightest detail of the dream; but feelings remained. It was a sad dream, that much she could understand. Amity often had sad feeling dreams, but never remembered them when she woke up…

A knock came from the door. "Are you alright in there?" She heard the slightly muffled voice of Lust call from the other side.

Chuckling sheepishly, Amity called back. "I'm fine! I just dozed off and slipped…"

"Good; I would hate to inform father that I allowed you to drown in a soup-mug." She replied flatly.

Yes, a soup-mug was the only Conscience sized bathtub Lust could procure for the blunette, who hadn't been able to have a bath for quite some time; but Amity wasn't going to complain. The fairy sighed contently, lowering her tiny body deeper in the steaming water.

She supposed if she had to be separated from Envy for a few minutes, then this definitely was the best way to spend them. The fairy recalled Lust commenting that Amity was in need of a bath after their Dr. Seuss tongue twister contest... The fairy giggled; she still couldn't believe she managed to convince them into doing that!

Sinking until her nose almost touched the water, Amity's thoughts began to wander. She found herself wondering how Regen was doing; she often did whenever she had a moment's peace. She hadn't seen him in so long; she was curious how his own Conscience mission was going. He'd been gone for nearly… 3 years now? She'd lost track. Amity missed him dearly though. He was - is- her best-friend after all.

The spiky haired teen girl sighed. She missed sitting under their tree together. They use to do all sorts of fun things: Tell stories, make things out of paper – Amity never was very good at it, she could only make a few paper flowers – they talked about lots of different things… they even made up songs sometimes.

Grinning much like a Cheshire cat, Amity lifted her mouth out of the water, oh, how _did _that song go? It was a really good one Regen had thought of, too! She tapped her foot a little on the bottom of her soup mug bathtub, attempting to remember the beat.

"I_f I was a Paper Flower_

_With delicate paper petals_

_I would sit and talk awhile_

_About bronze tea kettles_

_And if you were to stay and listen _

_to silly chatter from such as I__,_

_I would smile happ-il-y_

_And sing a moon kissed lull__-__ab__-__y_

_And when this Paper Flower fades_

_And joins with the stars that it longed to be_

_I'll slip away quietly_

_Like a Glass Shell out to Sea…__"_

Amity giggled again; that's how she thought the song went, anyway.

"What are you doing in there?" Lust asked from her place outside the door, a small trace of annoyance in her otherwise slightly curious tone.

"Oh, I was just remembering a song my friend made up." Amity admitted with a small smile, even though she knew Lust could not see it.

"I see." The woman replied coolly, the following silence stating that she was going press the conversation no further.

The corners of Amity's lips twitched downward, she had hoped Lust would continue talking. She turned her eyes toward the small lit candle. Amity's washed clothes were strung up on a clothes line made of dental floss, and the two poles was the faucet on the sink, and the small jar of toothbrushes; the small flame from the candle they were stationed near seemed to be drying her clothes quite nicely.

After her thoughts wandered a little more, a thought suddenly sprung up in her mind; Amity called out. "Hey Lust?"

"Yes?"

"What are you?" The blunette asked.

"What do you mean?" Lust replied with a question of her own.

The suspicious note in Lust's tone was not lost to Amity, who wondered if she'd made a grave mistake by asking. "U-Um, well, Envy told me that you guys weren't human, but he didn't care to elaborate any further than that…" Amity felt her pointed ears perked up as she waited eagerly for the answer… or a possible scolding.

"You're from another world, correct?"

Amity frowned slightly. "Well, yes."

"Then you are unaware of how things work in this world." The woman spoke.

The blunette's frown deepened, wondering what point Lust was trying to get at. "So, what does that mean?"

"In our world if you wish to obtain something, you must give something in return."

Amity blinked. That sounded familiar… where had she heard it before? Thinking back, she recalled Sidius saying something similar to her before he sent her here.

"So," Lust continued. "if you want to obtain information about me, you must give me information about yourself."

"What sort of information do you want?" Amity asked.

"Simple. I'll tell you what I am if you tell me what you are."

"I'm a Conscience-"

"Yes, I'm aware of that, but you have yet to describe what a Conscience is besides the voice that discerns right from wrong." There was a brief pause. "How are Conscience's made? Are they born or are they created? If the latter, then by whom? Where do they come from?" Lust stopped, waiting for a reply.

Amity gulped. Lust wanted to know where Conscience came from and how they were made? The blunette bit down of her lower lip nervously; she didn't particularly like discussing that little bit of information about herself…

But, then again, she was very curious about what Lust, Envy and the others were and there weren't any rules that forbid her to tell a non-Conscience being what a Conscience was (though humans and other beings aren't supposed to be able to see Consciences in the first place) and the information exchange seemed fair enough.

"Alright, then." Amity smiled. "If you tell me what you are, I'll tell you how a Conscience is born and where we come from. Is that an equivalent exchange?"

"Yes." Lust replied. "Thought I'm curious as to why I have to go first." Amity could almost hear the female homunculus raise her eyebrow.

The Conscience grinned sheepishly. "Well, I don't mean to be rude, but my _own _conscience is saying that if I tell you first, you probably won't answer any my questions afterward."

She heard Lust let out a soft chuckle. "Clever girl."

**.**

**.**

**.**

"You wanted to see me, Father?" Envy asked, approaching the throne-like chair his creator sat on, though he approached with slight trepidation; he could sense Father wasn't pleased. Not angry, per-se, but unhappy. If Father _ever_ was happy, that is. Envy dully reminded himself that one doesn't need to be happy to be satisfied.

Though what baffled him was _why _Father was so dissatisfied. Everything was going exactly the way Father had intended it to: the military people were clueless as to who really pulled the strings of their nation, the mission in Liore went much better than they had originally planned and Envy could think of nothing he or his siblings had done wrong… well unless you count the whole Dr. Seuss thing. Envy thoughts grinded to a halt.

_How _did Amity even manage to rope them into that anyway?!

"Envy." Father spoke, his voice cutting the silence like a knife. He closed the book he was reading with a dull 'thud' and turned his gaze towards his 4th eldest child; the jealous homunculus felt his breath catch slightly; yes, Father indeed was unhappy. "Do you know what a Conscience is?"

Envy blinked his violet eyes twice, processing his creator's words carefully. "The 'voice' in a human's head that is suppose to decide between right and wrong?" He guessed with a small shrug of the shoulders. That's what Amity claimed Consciences to be, anyway.

Father sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back into his chair. "That is what a Conscience does, not what a Conscience is." He corrected. When Envy did not have a second guess, he continued. "A Conscience – in essence – is the reincarnated soul of a human being."

"… The soul of another human being?" Envy repeated quietly; he would not have believed it if it had not come from his Father's own mouth.

"A recycled soul would also be a sufficient term." Father spoke, his eyes opening so that he could cast his son a half-lidded glance. "Consciences are created when a human dies and their soul is taken to the Gate; like all humans do once they die. Truth typically chooses human beings who have past regrets, unfulfilled lives, or perhaps one who died at a very young age and did not get the chance to properly experience life, to be reincarnated as a Conscience." He continued blandly as though he was discussing the weather or some other matter of little importance. "These reincarnated souls pass through the Gate and are born into a realm that exists somewhere within it, a place that defies time a space – this place is nameless, or so I have been told."

'_Consciences come from a world, well, it doesn't really have a name... We've never told anyone that doesn't live their about it, so we never really had to give it one... That's where I'm from.'_ Envy recalled Amity telling him on the train.

"A nameless world that exists outside reality…" Father murmured quietly to himself, leaning forward, resting his elbows in his desk and placing his hands to that the tips of all his fingers touched. "Quite extraordinary…" He trailed off.

"But… if she's only a soul, how can she exist here?" Envy asked slowly, his eyes narrowly slightly as he thought. "That should be impossible. She would need some kind of body... or be bonded to some material item."

"Gluttony detests the idea of eating her, am I correct?"

Envy expression morphed into one of surprise. "How… How did you know that-?"

"Here in this world, Amity is a physical manifestation of a soul." Father answered. "She is not 'made' of the same compounds that human beings and material objects are made of. Her taste and smell are therefore unappealing to him, because she is not 'made' of the things he is used to consuming."

"But, Gluttony could eat her if he wanted too?" The sin asked, a small, mischievous grin making its way onto his face.

"Yes." Father said, casting Envy a look that clearly told him that he had better not try it. The homunculus shrugged his shoulders, his grin shrinking into a small, guilty smile. "Though I could not determine what the outcome would be if that were to occur; Gluttony is not meant to devour souls." After a slight pause, Father inhaled deeply through the nose, his brows creasing in thought. "Do you know why Amity has come here?"

"Well, she says she's my replacement conscience because my own conscience has 'turned off'." Envy answered, making air quotes with his fingers.

"As a Conscience, it is Amity's goal to turn you from my side." Father spoke seriously. Envy froze. "She wants to change you, mold you into what her world considers a 'good person'."

The homunculus made a face. "She's wants to turn me into a goody-two-shoes? Bleh!" He stuck his tongue out.

"Don't let your guard down." Father told him, an almost exasperated look spreading across his features. "She'll do whatever it takes to change you and will try to deceive you into her ways of thinking by any means necessary."

"If you think she's such a problem, why let her live in the first place?" Envy asked.

Father sighed. "Amity came here through the Gate of Truth, therefore there is a high probability she could qualify as a sacrifice."

"But what if she can't? What if she hasn't opened the portal?"

"Then we will dispose of her."

A demonic grin slowly made its way onto the shape-shifters face, his eyes glinting with a sadistic pleasure that would make grown men afraid. "Well, if that's the case, I would be more than happy to get rid of the little bug myself." He nearly purred.

"Until then, she is to remain healthy and unharmed." Father replied tonelessly. "Understood?"

"Yes, Father."

"You may leave now." The golden haired man said.

"Yes, Father." Envy repeated turning and walking away.

He was nearly out of the room when he heard Father call from behind him. "Envy." The homunculus stopped and turned so he was looking over his shoulder at his creator; who was leaning back into his chair, eyes closed. "Do you know the requirements to be chosen to receive a Conscience?"

Envy turned the question over a couple times in his head. The way Father had said it made it sound as though Envy's answer held certain… _weight _to it; like something important would be decided solely on the way he answered.

"No." Envy said, watching the expression on his Father's face closely. His creator didn't so much as twitch at the reply.

"Very well, you may go."

Envy stared a split second longer before turning away and completely exiting the room. He walked for a little while, before stopping, his eyebrow's furrowing as he thought.

"What _are_ the requirements to receive a Conscience?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Fascinating…" Lust murmured quietly, looking down at the young fairy as she finished explaining.

"That's all there is to being a Conscience really." Amity spoke; now fully dressed and sipping a doll-sized tea-cup of tea. The two females were sitting at a tiny round table in the small, make-shift kitchen in Father's evil lair. Amity briefly wondered why they had a kitchen if Homunculi didn't need to eat.

"So you are, in essence, a recycled human soul?" The womanly sin questioned, bringing the cup to her lips.

"I guess you could call us that." The blunette shrugged. "I can't say I can verify it though, since, as I told you before, I don't have any of my memories from when I was a human. Miss Farfella taught me that's what a Conscience is."

"Taught?" Lust asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Oh, where I'm from, new Consciences of all ages go to a training school; I was one of the youngest in that class."

"Which is how young ,exactly? You said before Conscience's live for a long time."

Amity's brows furrowed slightly as she thought. "I think I was about 5 years old at the time, but all new Conscience's enter the class the age they died when they were still human. There were people 50 and older who were in the same class as I was, though when they are born into my world, they no longer look that old. The youngest Conscience in my class was a little boy… he was 2 years old. I think I came in 6th youngest out of 50 students."

"And how is it that you looked the same age that you really are?" The woman asked.

"Conscience age different than a humans; we age at a normal rate until we hit somewhere in our mid-teens or late-teens depending on the Conscience; then it slows down to the point where we hardly age at all."

Lust hummed thoughtfully. "Do all Consciences lose their memories of who they were as humans?"

The fairy frowned. "Well, some of them forget and then remember after a year or two, but I never did. Regen use to say I was a 'late bloomer'… Miss Farfella said I was just dense."

Lust's lips curved upward into a dry smile. "I can't imagine why."

The fairy shrugged her shoulders. "Your guess is as good as mine." For reasons she didn't understand, Lust's smile grew in size. "Homunculi are really fascinating too." Amity spoke after a small lull in their conversation. "You guys are all artificially created humans, right?"

"Yes, but we're superior to human beings." Lust spoke.

Amity's legs began to fall asleep after sitting in her cross-legged position on the table, so she maneuvered where her legs would be sticking straight out, then took a long sip of her tea. "How much longer do you think Envy is going to be gone for?"

"It depends on what Father wanted to ask him about." Was the toneless reply.

The fairy bit down on her lower lip nervously. She hoped she wouldn't be separated from him too long; it was against the rules after all. She checked her compass, its needle was almost pure white and it was pointed at the door…

_BANG!_

Amity jumped, nearly dropping her Envy-Tracker as the doors slammed opened, revealing an extremely angry looking Envy. The shape-shifter slowly turned his head toward her, his eyes narrowing dangerously. He let out a guttural, animalistic growl, baring his sharp teeth; Amity gulped. He stormed past the fairy and Lust and towards the refrigerator, savagely tearing the freezer door open and ripping out a tub of chocolate ice-cream.

"Um… Is he okay?" Amity whispered to Lust.

"He does this when he's frustrated with something." The older sister answered, watching her brother with a raised eyebrow.

"What about?" Amity asked, observing the shape-shifter fearfully.

Lust shrugged her shoulders, also watching as Envy shoved giant spoonfuls of chocolate ice-cream into his mouth.

Amity yawned, rubbing her eyes sleepily. _'Odd, I'm feel to tired __all of the sudden…'_ She looked over at Lust, her brows furrowing in confusion at the female homunculus's tea cup. "Hey, Lust?" She asked, her eye-lids starting to droop, unaware that her words were starting to slur.

"Yes?"

The Conscience's body sudden began to feel heavy; an odd warmth spreading through her body. "You didn't drink any of your…" Her eyes shut and she fell face forward with a loud 'thunk'.

Lust sighed, watching as the Conscience snored loudly on the table, it surprised her that the drug mangaed to take effect so quickly. The female stood, calmly approaching her brother as he continued to barbarically consume his creamy treat.

"That's enough." She sighed yet again, swiping it from him before he could blink. Envy gaped at his sister, who was holding the bucket of half-eaten ice-cream out of his reach.

"Give it back." He growled, pointing the spoon at her threateningly.

"We need to talk." She said simply, placing the tub back into the freezer. "What did Father say?"

Envy 'hmphed', wiping the chocolate off of his mouth using the back of his hand. "He told me what a Conscience really was."

"The recycled soul of a human being?"

Envy gaped at her once more. "How did you know?!"

"Your Conscience told me."

"And she didn't tell me!? That little-" He whirled to yelled at Amity, but blinked, seeing that she was asleep on the table. "What's wrong with her?"

"I drugged her."

Envy, for a third time that day, gawked at his sister. "You drugged my Conscience?!... Damn, why didn't _I _think of that?"

"I wanted to speak with you in private." Lust explained; inwardly exasperated with her brother's dramatics.

"That doesn't explain why she told you about Consciences and not me." He grumbled.

"Maybe if you would have sat down and had a civil conversation with her, she would have." She sighed, leaning against the refrigerator and looking at him out of the corner of her eye. "You really are clueless when it comes to dealing with women." Envy glared at her. Lust smirked. "We made an exchange; I told her what we were and in exchange she told me what she was."

"You told her that we were Homunculi!?" Envy yelled, eyes wide. "Are you crazy!?"

"Relax, I made no mention of the Philosopher's Stone or that it is our heart. I simply told her Homunculi were artificial human beings with more superior abilities than humans."

Envy snorted, folding his arms across his chest. "What did you want to talk about anyway?"

"I wanted to know what Father had to say, mostly." She replied.

"He only told me that Consciences were the souls of human beings." The shape-shifter said. "He also told me a bunch of other stuff, like the reason why Gluttony doesn't want to eat her is because she's not 'made' of the same material humans and objects from this world are made of, and that the only reason he wants to keep her around is because Father thinks she might be able to open the portal."

Lust raised an eyebrow. "Is that all?"

"No; he also told me that Amity's mission is mold me into a 'good-person'." Envy spoke that last part in a high, obnoxious sounding voice. "Like that's ever gonna happen."

"Is that why you're so upset?" Lust asked, a smirk tugging at her lips.

"Of course not!" Envy snapped.

"Then why, pray tell, were you tearing through that bucket of ice-cream like a woman during her menstrual cycle?"

"Because the entire time Father talked to me, it was like I had done something _wrong_; and I don't even know what it is! Then he goes and asks me if I know 'the requirements to be chosen to receive a Conscience' and when I say no, he doesn't even tell me what those requirements are!" Envy roared, throwing his hands into the hair. "I mean, what is up with that?!"

Lust frowned. "Amity made no mention of that when we conversed."

"And what _did_ the little bug tell you?" Envy asked.

"Basically what Father told you, except for she told me a few other things about Consciences; like how they age and a little bit about their schooling system for 'newborn' Consciences." She frowned again, thinking. "Also, she told me that unlike most Consciences, Amity had no recollection of her life as a human."

The shape-shifter let out a single bark-like laugh. "She really is pathetic."

"Yes, but you need to take better care of her."

Envy's mouth dropped open. "Wha-? Why?" He whined.

Lust looked over at him. "Father has ordered you to keep her alive and healthy. Envy, she hasn't slept properly since she arrived, she's constantly worried about you leaving her somewhere, even though Father ordered you not to; lack of sleep can cause poor health. You've also forgotten to feed her several times; and lack of nutrition can cause her to become sickly. Not to mention she hasn't had a bath or clean set of clothes since she came here, and staying dirty for too long can also make her more susceptible to disease." She narrowed her eyes at him. "I could care less about her well-being, but if she is to remain healthy, for the sake of Father's plan, you _need_ to take better care of her."

"Yes_, mother_. Why don't I take the bug out for a walk and play fetch with her while I'm at it?" Envy drawled sarcastically.

"That's not a bad idea, actually. Daily exercise will also make sure she says healthy."

"Lust, I was _joking_!"

"Well I wasn't."

A dark aura suddenly filled the room. "Quit bickering, you two." Pride's metallic voice echoed around them.

"Oh, Pride. What do you want?" Envy asked irritably.

"There is some trouble happening in Laboratory 5, Father wants you two to take care of it."

Lust nodded. "We'll be right there."

The dark presence disappeared, and Envy grinned maliciously.

"Looks like we're gonna have some fun."

**.**

**.**

**.**

"Ah, that felt great!" Envy sighed contently stretching his arms in the air, looking at the pile of rubble that was us to be Laboratory 5. "I got to beat up the pipsqueak _and _blow a building up!" He grinned. "I feel so much better now."

Lust sighed, running a hand through her hair. "That boy is troublesome, coming all the way here and causing such a ruckus."

The shape-shifter placed a hand on his hip, turning towards her. "You still think it's okay to just let him go like that?"

She nodded. "He didn't see too much and he's an important candidate for sacrifice."

A loud yawn came from Envy's pocket. Amity's bushy blue head immerged soon after. The tiny fairy stretched, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "I sure slept well!" She announced cheerily, opening her eyes. She blinked, staring at the giant pile of rubble before her.

…

…

…

"Soooo… What exactly did I miss?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

"C'mon Envy! Tell me!"

"No."

"Pleeeeaaaase?"

"No." He hissed. "Now be quiet before people start to stare."

Amity pouted, sinking back into Envy's military jacket pocket. He refused to tell a single thing that happened the previous night, or why he just _blew up a building_. And, to make matters worse, she had slept through it all!

'_I'm a horrible Conscience.' _She sulked, hanging her head. A crinkling noise caught her attention; she sat up a little, realizing she had been sitting on the paper-wrapper flower she had made for Envy. The Conscience giggled, she'd nearly forgotten she had slipped it into his pocket when he wasn't looking.

Amity stood up, peering out of Envy's jacket pocket. He once again was sitting alone at Central HQ's cafeteria table, eating something like looked a little like deep-fried algae mixed with oatmeal. She looked pulled herslef up higher and looked up, watching other soldiers joking and laughing with their friends. Amity narrowed her eyes in determination. She _would _be Envy's friend, no matter what.

She gazed up at him, thinking. Friends usually talked during lunch, right? The only problem with that was that Amity didn't know much about Envy, so she had no idea what sort of stuff they could talk about and Envy clearly didn't like sharing information about himself; she recalled the failed game of Confession she played with him on the train.

Beaming as a topic they could talk about came across her mind, she directed her smile at him.

"So," She spoke, clapping her hands together cheerily. "Lust told me you're actually a hippopotamus!"

She had absolutely no idea why he spit his milk all over the table.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"ONE-HUNDERED!"

Envy barely managed to dodge the confetti Amity shot in his direction; both he and his annoying Conscience companion were wearing brightly colored, gaudy party hats.

Amity beamed brightly at him. "We've reached 100 reviews!"

"Really? I never would have guessed." He drawled sarcastically, ripping his own hat off his head. "What with you screeching 'ONE HUNDRED" and all."

Amity rolled her eyes at him, though her smile stayed in place. "And, since we've reached our 100th review, Fyuro wrote some bonus material after our normal review reading!"

Envy paled considerably, swallowing. "What kind of bonus material…?"

The blunette winked playfully. "That's a surprise, silly! Now, let's get on to reading the reviews!"

"_Haha, just so you know, I am satisfied with the chapter; Poor you, it was long.  
Anyway... Chubaca Thomas Jeffreson III... I lost a bet.  
But that's not the point here, I changed it back and everything's normal again. *coughs*  
YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!  
...And Envy if it makes you feel better you're MY favorite anime character."_

_~Shadow's Painting_

"The author is glad to know you were satisfied with the bonus chapter." Amity said, her smile still in place. "And I'm sorry about you losing your bet and all." She began to giggle. "I thought Chubaca Thomas Jeffreson III was a pretty cute name, though."

"You would." Envy scoffed.

"And Envy appreciates that he's your favorite character!"

"What? I-I do not!" He yelled back, his cheeks reddening

"He was having some low self-esteem issues after he found out he was Fyuro's third-favorite character." She continued as though he hadn't even spoken.

"I don't have low self-esteem issues!"

"_Thank you for responding so long for my review!  
Envy,  
Greed isn't my 1st fav homunculus, he's my third. My 1st fav homunculus is Pride (cuz he's so cool and fricken awesome) and my 2nd fav is Lust (cuz Her hair is like mine, which is just soooo gorgeous).* Here's a hairbrush for your hair. *tosses at Envy's head*  
Amity,  
I would totally write a one-shot about a M-rated lemon about AlxAmityxEnvy, but one: I suck at writing, two: I'd get killed, three: you'd no longer be innocent.  
I would also write a fluffy AlxAmity, just think! Al feeding a cat-eared and tailed Amity cat-food! *squeals* That'd be soooooo cute!"_

_~ BerserkerNobody_

"Wait…" Envy began, narrowing his eyes. "If Pride is your favorite, Lust is 2nd and Greed is 3rd… _that means you like him more than ME!?_"

Amity took a large step away from the furious shape-shifter. "Great, now he's going to have low self-esteem issues again. " She sighed under her breath. "Um, I not sure why a 'M-rated lemon about AlxAmityxEnvy' fiction would no longer leave me innocent, but if it would kill you to write it, then please, for you own sake, don't. It's not worth risking your life over."

She then smiled. "However, the AlxAmity fiction with Alphonse feeding me cat-food sounds fantastic! Fyuro gives you permission to write that, if you'd like to, on the conditions that you keep 'T' rated or lower and if you contact her immediately after you finish writing it so she can read it." The blunette beamed.

"_So now we know the reason that Envy kills Hughes. ...Hughes deserves it for the unknowing torture he put Envy through._

Holy shit the dance part was hillarious XD So much bait for a slash pairing to be formed! Watch out guys,

Envy, I think the last chapter may have made people enjoy the Greed/Envy pairing even more

Amity, you are so ignorant it's adorably hillarious. Go online if you wanna learn about the 'Birds and Bees'."

_~Ikarai_

"Yes, Hughes deserves to die. " Envy agreed with a sagely nod of the head.

Amity frowned disapprovingly at her companion. "You should be feeling guilty for even thinking such a thing." She scolded, placing her hands on her hips. "Besides, I thought his daughter was adorable!"

"And _WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY GREED/ENVY!?" _Envy shrieked. "I hate him with every fiber of my body! Why would we be a couple!?" His face turned a sickly shade of green. "Ugh, the images that you put into my head!"

"Do they have anything to do with those 'birds and bees' everyone refuses to tell me about?" Amity asked.

Envy turned an ever darker shade of green, his eyes going impossibly wide; the homunculus covered his mouth with his hand. "I… I think I'm going to be sick." He groaned, running off to find a bucket to go upchuck his lunch in.

Amity blinked innocently. "What did I say?"

"That's what Ikarai meant by ignorant!" Envy hissed from a far off corner in 'the Void'.

The Conscience sighed. "I'm going to have to go online after this and find out what it is about these 'birds and bees' that makes everyone react like this. Anywho, onto the next review!"

"_(too lazy to sign)_

wow, impressive chapter, you wrote more in one chap than i have in an entire story! kudos man!  
Envy you did not answer my question! 7.7 and you keep saying how we are your personal hell, but you LIE! You know you secretly love your faithful fangirls! Or... do you prefer if we suddenly switch from being your fans to GREEDS?

and your stuck with absolutely NO fangirls?  
i bet youll apreciate us now ! :)"

_~iAnneart_

"Fyuro claims it took her 3 months to update because it took her fingers that long to recover." Amity laughed.

"What question?" Envy asked.

"You know, about if you'd rather be-"

"I recall no question, Amity." Envy said in a clipped tone, glaring at her.

She frowned. "But iAnneart wanted to know in the last chapter if you'd rather-"

"I. don't. recall. any. questions." He hissed through grit teeth. "Okay, I will admit I like having fan-girls, but ONLY when they aren't harassing me." The homunculus grinned maliciously. "And, if you become fans of Greed, well, let's just say Gluttony and I will be making a surprise visit to your house in the near future."

"… But, if you tell them that, wouldn't that no longer make is surprise?"

"Shut up, Amity."

"_This story cracks me up, I love every bit of it. Envy don't worry, I wouldn't attack you, hug you, pull your hair, etc. because, well I WANT to live! You and Pride are my favorite, well you in both brotherhood and the 2003 anime one. For some reason I like psychopaths...anyway Envy I also have a conscience, well two(consider me being a half-demon)...Envy, she just your conscience, YOU are in control, it's taming a puppy. Anyway I better go now and I'm sorry you guys are being put in the void._

Chibi Demon Me: Keep up the good work Amity! Here's more chocolate, but only a tiny bit. Also can you help make Human Ai-chan good and nicer, she kinda act li-*get hit by a butcher knife*  
Chibi Human Me: Amity, you help her you will make your worst nightmares come true. Now Envy try scaring her like playing slender woods or something like that, just download a scary game. now...F*** off, I'm done here!  
yeah...they swap personalities...well bye and always good luck Envy! Continue being Dark, Pride!"

_~Aithecat_

"Good to know, you are spared from my wrath… for now." Envy said, chuckling ominously.

"Ah, I hate to be rude." Amity said, smiling sheepishly. "But I am my own separate entity, I'm not a part of Envy so, therefore, he doesn't have that kind of control over me. If I had my Full-Conscience powers back and got to merge with his subconscious mind, then he would have been able to control me a little bit more." She smiled brightly. "Thank you for the chocolate, Chibi-Demon Ai, uh, and I'm sorry you got stabbed with a butcher-knife." She gulped. "Sorry I can't help you make Human-Ai nicer; all I can say is good-luck and hang in there!"

Envy grinned unsettlingly at Amity. "And I'll give the slender woods game a try, thanks for the advice Chibi-Human Ai."

Amity swallowed thickly. "Heh heh… Uh, let's go on to the next review, shall we?"

"_Wow 55 pages long! You're amazing! :)  
I'm not quite sure what to comment on first... so I'll start with Envy. In his new Winnie the Pooh outfit. Amity, that was brilliant! XD  
Alright done torturing Envy... Yeah who am I kidding, no I'm not XD  
Amity and Envy would actually make a cute couple... Plus I saw hints of it throughout the chapter. Like when Envy got jealous over Greed and Amity. Can't stand seeing some other man with what's 'yours', huh Envy? ;)  
But I suppose that if they started dating then Envy would be cheating on his palm tree wife XD  
Amity, a great way to get back at Envy for everything he did would be to continue to ask about the 'birds and the bees' and not letting up until he answers. Just saying...  
And while that suggestion is still fresh in your mind, I will end my review. Update soon :)  
-Scarlet"_

_~ScarletNInja1026_

"Thank you, thank you!" Amity bowed deeply in the waist.

Envy glared. "I'll get you for that someday."

She giggled. "I know, but it was still worth it. And why me asking you about the birds and bees be-"

"And we don't make a cute couple!" Envy snapped, interrupting the fairy. "And. I. Was. Not. Jealous!"

"_And_, like Scarlet said, Envy would be cheating on Lillian if we were a couple! It would break her heart!" Amity cried, tears welling in her azure eyes.

"She doesn't even have a heart! Or feelings! She's a plant!" Envy growled. "And for your information, we are getting a divorce."

Tears began to fall from the fairy's eyes. "D-did I come b-between you and Lillian?" She hiccupped.

"Wha-NO!" The shape-shifter glowered. "She's a potted plant for god's sake! And STOP crying!"

"But I feel so guilty!" She sobbed. "I should have told Lillian that there was nothing going on between us, and now… now…" She dissolved into tears again.

"She's a potted pla-Oh forget it." He sighed. "I'll read the next damned review."

"_*Full out glomps Amity* I had a feeling you'd save the day! And Envy's been getting an unfair share of fangirl hugs lol.  
That aside, holy long chapter! You get a double thumbs up for chapter length! That was great lol. And FYI your writing isn't atrocious! You're actually doing an awesome job, and you're better than a large majority of writers I've found on here! In my opinion anyway, however much that counts for lol  
I don't know where you come up with your ideas but they're hilarious! I'm not even going to try listing them. But Ed's costumes were amazing. Hughes cornering Envy with photos is just...priceless and really sad xD I really shouldn't be laughing at that but I'm a sucker for irony. Well played lol. The dance was amazing. Amity's revenge was hilarious and well deserved. And the interactions between her, Greed and Envy are just perfect lol. Not to mention the whole innocence thing is SO fitting. Which brings me to another point. I really, just really can't picture EnvyxAmity as a pairing. At this point in time I cannot wrap my brain around that. AmityxAl would make more sense. But even that doesn't really work, given Amity's size and Al's lack of a body x'D. But in any case, I'm willing to have my opinion changed depending on how the story goes lol.  
Anyway, I'm definitely looking forward to the next chapter! I wonder how the storyline will continue? o.o  
Side note: I would like to share with Envy some of the perks that he's clearly overlooked in entering into matrimony with a potted plant.  
1. Silence. Your potted plant will never natter at you, tell you to do the dishes, take out the garbage, or screech at you for tracking blood across the livingroom carpet. Nor will it talk back to you or disagree with you.  
2. Patience. Your potted plant will never be offended if you choose to vent your frustrations in verbal abuse. Granted, it may not take well to physical abuse.  
3. Indifference. Your potted plant will never be upset with you coming home late, or not at all. It will never be distraught or become clingy if you choose to ignore it for extended periods of time. Nor will it get irritated if you refuse to leave it alone for periods of time. So long as you insure someone waters it on a regular basis it won't give a damn what you choose to do.  
So rather than feel embarrassed, you should really think over the possibilities of this arrangement! You may have made an extremely wise (...and fitting) choice in picking your life's partner!_

*attempting to maintain a convincing straight face*  
...And if my advice is not appreciated...well...keep in mind I could be hugging you or pulling your hair...*slight smirk*

Lol anyway! Looking forward to the next update!"

_~Kasani_

"I got a hug!" Amity crowed with joy, jumping into the air. She grinned. "Thank you Kasani! And Fyuro really appreciates that you don't think her writing is hideous."

Envy grinned. "Yeah, pipsqueak's costumes were pretty hilarious. But Hughes cornering me with those photos wasn't." He glowered. "And Amity's revenge wasn't funny either."

"I thought it was pretty funny." The Conscience chuckled.

"You should be feeling guilty for that." Envy grumbled, narrowing his eyes at her.

"Hey, you stole my line!" She accused.

"And, finally! Someone with common sense! '_I really, just really can't picture EnvyxAmity as a pairing'._ Yes!" He sighed happily. "There is no way in hell the two of us would make a couple… I'm not even interested in that sort of thing!"

"No wonder you and Lillian are getting a divorce." Amity then giggled. "Though, I think Kasani had some excellent points as to why you should stay married to Lillian."

"As _appealing _as the perks of a being married to a potted plant sound, I think I'll pass." Envy drawled sarcastically.

"Oh, and Fyuro had something she wanted to say about pairings in the story. Lemme see if I can find the note she gave me." Amity dug around in her pockets before pulling out a crumpled piece of note-book paper.

"_Pairings in this story, __**if there will be any at all**__, are undecided. This story is not romance based, so it does not play a major role in this fiction; it can easily be added or left out without taking anything away from the plot. But, if you guys have pairing ideas, feel free to share your opinion! Sincerely, Fyuro."_

…

…

…

"She's supposed to deny romance, not encourage it!" Envy roared.

Amity grinned. "We get to suggest pairings? I want to get paired with Wrathbeard!" She sighed, hearts forming in her eyes.

"…Amity, Wrath is already married."

"He is?!" She cried before pouting. "Darn, the good ones are always taken…"

"_I love this story so much,it makes me laugh. I hope you continue to update because i can't wait for the next chapter_

also EnvyxAmity for the win"

_~Hama29_

"Fyuro would like to apologize for taking so long to update." Amity let out a nervous giggle. "She's just been busy with things as of late, that and she was having major writers block. We're glad you like the story and that it manages to make you laugh." Amity beamed.

"And NO. No EnvyxAmity for the win."

"Envy, everyone is entitled to their own opinions!" The blunette scolded.

"And being against EnvyxAmity is my opinion." He replied haughtily, sticking his nose up in the air.

"_Random-OC-who-doesn't-deserve-a-name: psh. Logging in is overrated. *cough* anyway, hello! I'm so sorry, but Owl is unable to be with us here today. She has been admitted into the hospital due to reading you story and laughing so hard that milk shot out of her nose. So I'm filling in today! I don't really have a name, but Owl often calls me Bucket. I'm here to read her review, and just in case, she has four of her OCs here to watch me and press a button to give me an electric shock in case I don't get it right! *shudders* oh god...  
Kitty: we might as well introduce ourselves. My name is Violet, daughter of Pride. Please don't call me Kitty like my cousin does.  
Ariadne: are you done yet, KITTY? Anyway, I'm Ariadne (my author can't figure out my name so she went with this one for the review.)  
I'm the daughter of Envy.  
Memma: I'm Memma! Ferron's twin sister and Part of the reincarnation of Father Homunculus!  
Ferron: I'm Ferron. Another part of the reincarnation. Nice to meet you.  
Bucket: anyway, now that that's over, onto the actual review! *reads aloud*:_

Hi everyone! First, I'm so sorry I didn't review the last chapter...I'm a serious procrastinator...ahem...  
Ah yes...the feared EnvyxPride pairing...I stumbled across a doujinshi once with that pairing...although Pride was the seme...and graphically raping Envy...with his shadows...

Anyway, AWAY from that image...oh god, why am I worried about my innocence, I have none left...

HAHAHAHAWINNIE THE POOH COSTUMES OMIGODHAHAHAHAHAHA

Pride, on a poll, you were voted the sexiest homunculus. I don't know why, but even I get a little turned on when I hear your voice...but that quickly disappears, so no worries. And It happens more with Envy than with you.

Haha...er...I have problems imagining Envy and Amity as a couple...

Father, there was also a doujinshi featuring the pairing FatherxHoenheim. Permission to slowly kill doujinshi writer?...oh and by the way, you are FREAKING AWESOME no matter what those haters say.

FYURO. YOU ROCK. PLEASE KEEP WRITING. I GIVE UP ALL MY NYAN CATS TO YOU.

Oh, and FMA characters...lucky charms for everybody!

Love,  
Owl

*finishes reading*  
Phew, that was long! Now we get to go to-*zap* OW!  
(Kitty has pressed the button electrocuting Bucket)

Kitty: the author wants to say that she loves you all, shadows or no shadows. Can I go home now?"

_~Owlsweety_

"I am so so sorry!" Amity wailed, tears of guilt forming in her eyes. "We didn't mean to send you to the hospital!"

Envy grinned evilly. "I wasn't aware that this story could do such damage over such a large distance; maybe this story isn't quite as useless as I thought after all…" He paused, blinking owlishly as he re-read the review. "… WHEN DID I GET A DAUGHTER!? Or better yet, when did Pride get a daughter!?"

"You have a long-lost daughter and you didn't tell me?" Amity accused, a look of hurt on her face. "I'm your Conscience, Envy! You ought to tell me these things!"

"I didn't know!" He snapped back.

"Hmph. Well, in any case, it's nice to meet you all." The blunette smiled; waving at the screen.

"Pride was doing _what _to me in the doujinshi?!" Envy roared, his face once again turning a sickly shade of green. "Do you people have nothing better to do than mentally scar me for life?!"

"Pride'll be happy to know he won the poll though." Amity giggled, naively unaware as to why Envy was freaking out so badly. "And, as Fyuro said, there are no decided pairings or possibly no pairings at all, so don't worry too much about it just yet."

"And, on Father's behalf, I give you permission to brutally murder the person who created the FatherxHoenheim fan-comic. That's just wrong, seriously… And quit flattering the author! You're only encouraging her to torture us even more!"

Amity laughed. "I hope you recover from your electrical shock, Bucket, and thank you all for the Lucky Charms! "

"_N.R: The blackmail is perfected. Now all I have to do is keep K from- *Loud crash and K appears* too late, sorry but I can't help you now.  
K: *pauses her crazed insanity for Envy at the moment* Amity, you've never had someone tell you bout the birds and the bees? *Advances toward her*  
N.R: Dear lord, please don't let Amity die...  
K: *Drags her away towrds a portal* I SHALL TELL YOU ABOUT THESE BIRDS AND BEES! I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW ENVY HASN'T TOLD YOU YET SINCE IT SEEMS HE LUURVES YOU!  
N.R: Wach it K!  
K: What? It's not like I'm going to drag Envy along so he, can become all red, in the face, with, embarrasment! *devil smile, goes for Envy while still dragging Amity*  
N.R: Oh someone kill me...*looks for sleeping darts in bag, unsucessful* Sorry guys, no stopping her now.  
K: *sucessful* HAHAHAH! NOW I CAN CONTINUE! *Goes into portal, portal vanishes*  
N.R: I'm so sorry. I ran out of darts last visit. Poor poor Amity and Envy, they're gonna get the most graphic lemon ever. Hopefully they won't be too traumatized. Later, and here are some more candies for the trouble. *leaves boxes of chocolatein a corner, dissapears*"_

A few minutes later, a portal opened, spitting Envy and Amity back out from wherever Kashgal dragged them.

"Thank Truth I still have these." Envy sighed, pulling the pair of earplugs Kasani had given him last chapter, out of his ears.

"Ah, Kashgal, I hate to inform you that Conscience's under the age of 18 have built in 'Mature Content' filter, so younger Conscience's aren't exposed to things that aren't quite ready to see or hear yet; and the author needs to preserve my innocence for the sake of the story." Amity informed. "Though I sort of caught bits and pieces of what you were saying, I didn't hear everything… and I feel even more confused about the birds and the bees now… Though I appreciate the gesture to try to educate me!" She added hastily.

"I can't believe we made it through that whole thing mentally unscathed... " Envy awed.

"Again, sorry!"

"_Lmao this is one of my favorite FMAB stories. Love this Halloween chapter and I can't wait for the next one! Tell me how sad it was to see all of your hard work be reduced to zilch before your very eyes! Plus, I love the whole 'read the review parts'. Oh btw, Amity, keep ask everyone you meet about the birds and bees. Someone has to be mature enough to answer you at some point...though I don't any of the homunculi will be man enough to. (sorry lust, your included too). See ya for round two, Amity & ...misfits.  
- Cookie out."_

_~Cookie_

"We're honored that this is one of you favorite Fullmetal Alchemist stories!" The Conscience beamed.

Envy breathed a sigh of relief, placing a hand where his heart would be. "I could've sworn Father was going to kill us after that happened."

"Glad you like the read the review parts, Cookie!"

"And who are you calling a 'misfit'!?"

"_...such a long chapter...i nearly fell out of my chair crying tears of joy TwT First of all epic chapter as always keep up the great work. Second, i agree with Neusuada and the humunculi that Amity and Envy would be cute and a big twist on the story lol (sorry Envy :P), but i would also happily suport AlxAmity As for the story i can't fathum how you come up with this hilarious material. Ceativity at its finest!"_

_~GoldenxDreamer_

"The Author was crying too, but for very different reason. " Amity laughed nervously. "Pain, mostly…"

"Gah, the AmityxEnvy supporters are starting to multiply! If you want to pair the bug up with someone, pick someone I hardly ever see!"

Amity frowned, placing her hands on her hips. "Envy, be nice! Be glad that people want you paired with me and not someone like…" She thought for a moment before whirling, pointing a finger at him. "Like Gluttony!"

The homunculus froze, paling before turning an unpleasant shade of green. "GAH! Why must you put these images in my head!?" He cried, pounding his head with his own fists, trying to un-see the images his brain just cooked up.

Amity blinked in confusion as she watched Envy continue to beat himself up. "I… I don't wanna know…"

_Hi, it's me again. Your favorite guest reviewer, U. N. Noun.  
Envy, I believe I owe you a HUGE apology. You are more than a match for Edward Elric, (in fact you get to eat him later, but don't tell Gluttony) but you have to transform into your...*ahem*...other... form. Sorry...  
You're also right. I don't have psychic powers, I just asked Truth what would happen. Turns out, he likes brownies too! He also helped me construct my very own Flying Battlship! I call it...Cerberus!(Grins evilly) And it's fan-girl proof! Just give me the word and I'll send a jet for you! (That's a flying war machine, like a tank)  
Of course it did cost me an arm and a leg...Oh well, so totally worth it!  
Wrath, I am sending you a super-steel sword. It looks just like your old ones, but it won't break. I'd suggest you keep it with you on...the Promised Day.  
(Yes, I know about that too! Truth's not an idiot you know!)  
Speaking of which, Truth, do you really think you're god, because if Father can steal your power then you're not really infinite...Are you maybe just a representation of the physical world? The 'truth', as it were? I'm saying this as between friends.  
Thanks for Cerberus, buddy!  
And lastly, Amity.  
You are still by far my favorite O.C. ever! Good luck with Envy, though I hope, after you're done, he'll still be up for some GLOBAL DOMINATION!_

U.N. Noun a.k.a., the Wildcat Alchemist

P.S. Fyuro, I don't have a fanfic account yet, but when I do would it be okay if I messaged you? I also can write the lyrics to a themesong now if you would like.

_~U.N. Noun_

"Envy, you ate Edward Elric!?" Amity shrieked.

Envy blinked dumbly at the review, reading it over again. "I guess so…"

"Why!?"

"I don't know!" He yelled back. "Maybe Father ordered me to or something!"

Amity sighed heavily. "I am really going to have to keep my eye on you; shooting an innocent man and eating a cute little guy like Ed! You ought to be ashamed!"

Envy rolled his eyes. "On another note, I'll definitely be giving you a call U.N. Noun, once we're back in the real world. Does your 'flying tank' have any, oh, I don't know… Fan-girl destroyer death lasers by any chance?"

Amity elbowed him in the ribs. "Envy, be nice to your fans or they won't like you anymore! U.N Noun, I'm sure Wrathbeard will love the sword." She sighed happily, sparkles forming in her eyes. "I'll deliver it to him personally!"

Envy snorted. "Hah, you won't even be able to lift it once we're outside 'the Void'. And I have no idea what exactly Truth is, not even Father knows."

"I know what Truth is." Amity grinned, wagging her eyebrows up and down playfully.

"Reaaaally?" Envy drawled. "And what pray-tell is he, Miss Spicket?"

"He's the cover-boy for _Icha Icha Tactics _in the Naruto world!"

…

…

…

"Seriously?"

"Yes! Look it up and look at the cover for yourself! You'll see I speak the truth." She said with a sagely nod of the head.

"Right…"

Amity laughed. "Thank you U.N Noun, I'm glad I'm your favorite OC! And thank you for the good-luck wishes; I'll need all the help I can get… And Fyuro says feel free to message her once you have an account! Also, feel free to write a theme-song for this story! It'll be awesome to see what you come up with! This goes for other reviewers too, it they want to try their hand at theme-song writing."

"_This was awesomely funny! And also, thank you for supporting RizaXRoy! One of my fave fma pairings."_

_~Guest_

"Fyuro loves RoyxRiza, so she felt it needed to be squeezed somewhere in the story." Amity laughed. "We're glad you're enjoying the story."

"Sadist." Envy grumbled under his breath.

_K: Hi! Did we confuse you? Sorry for the mix up with the parts played but once a week we switch roles. It's a little thing we like to call "sanity". We for the entire day till 7 pm. see if we can play the others role. Mine was easy, just act like an anime addicted idoit and try to get main characters. Her on the other hand *points to a cage with N.R passed out* was harder. She had to act like me in which she failed terribly. thy person is sorry Amity for the horrid images i put in yournow uninnocent mind._

_~K.N.R_

"Don't worry, as I said, I have a maturity filter installed in my brain, so no harm done!"

"I don't know about you, Amity, but I think I feel more confused that before…"

"_my thoughts before reading this story: why was kashagal so determened to make me read this?_

my thoughts after reading the whole story:  
i have a few things to say, first is ... what the truck where you on when you wrote this? second, i have a random craving for ramen for no reason, and ... this story is onee of the funniest stories i have ever read and made me laugh EXTREMELY LOUD in the middle of the night waking everyone in my house up, that was fun to explain to them. finally, it said the best line i have ever heard before "have you ever had a dictionary thrown at you before? trust me words hurt."  
well ... its time for me to eat a salamander and jump out the window"

_~WiseFullmetal17_

"Fyuro wasn't on a truck." Amity corrected. "It was a yellow submarine. And we humbly apologize for any chaos this story may have caused your household."

"Yes, words have the ability to be lethal." Envy said, wincing at the memory. He frowned, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Eat a salamander and jump out the window…?" He slowly looked over at Amity, who only shrugged in reply.

"_Oh. My. Freakin'. Truth. THAT WAS HILARIOUS!  
I need a sec to breath. Sorry. It was REALLY good. Were you all aware that the world was supposedly supposed to end yesterday? Father must have screwed up his plan to destroy the world. Or maybe the Mayans are just screwing with us. And yes, Envy, I admit I'm a bit sadist, reading this fanfiction. But its like AFV. Like when the guy gets hit in the junk, you want to look away as you feel sympathy for him, but you can't as the tears run down your face. And your sacrific is noted, Fyuro, I get the same way when I type for hours on end._

Envy: As much as you've probably heard this, it sounds cute that your wearing a Pinochio costume. It could have been MUCH worse though...You could have had to dress up like Ed Elric! Joking aside, the past few chapters were great, as were the bonus chapters. And while I might be a fangirl, I'm NOT one of those who stalk around and try to malw their fav charaters, (you are one of them). It'd be pretty hard to malw Al anyways. Did you really like my gift of duct tape so much before Amity took it away and traded it for beans? And, even though you hate it, I can see this eventually becoming an EnvyXAmity fic, it's better than it being an  
EnvyXEd though I bet. And, I bet you hate me for this, but I do have to admit it was funny when you were dressed up as Winnie the Pooh. And everyone can't wait to see Ed and Al 'cause they ARE the main characters in the manga, but you are a big fanfavorite. Personally, when I saw the results for the most popular character, I thought you should have been number four or maybe three. That aside, is there anything about Amity that you DO like? And yeah, dragons are freakin' epic!  
Amity: Since you asked for one, here's a hug! Although I'm still a little mad about yo taking away Envy's gift and trading it for beans. But it was nice to see Envy hug his brother, even though he was no doubt thinking off all the fangirls he could feed him. HAHAHA! You made Envy get into a Winnie the Pooh costume! Did Truth like that idea? What will he do wih the duct tape, I wonder. And if you wanted to be Al's concious, he already has his running full time, he's awesome!  
Pride: You are one of my favorite Homonclus, after Envy, since your a little kid who can control shadows that can rip people to shreds. But I'm curious...How often do you have to move around before people get suspicious that you don't age? Do you really love your mother?  
Gluttony: ...Are you the inspiration behind the beloved child's story, "Little Red Riding Hood" since you're favorite thing to eat is little girls? I could see you being the wolf...Hey Fyuro! Maybe you shhould try making Homonoclus themed fairytales sometime for fanfiction! But could you please explain why you don't want to eat Amity?  
Lust: I have to say, you're quiet in character in this fanfic. How come you're the only female Homoclus? Yeah, I bet your little brother (is Envy younger than you?) has a crush on Amity that he's too scared, or oblivous, to admit.  
Pride: Is it really that annoying being called Wrathbeard? And you don't know who the 2004 anime version of Wrath is? Here's a picture *passes him a picture of the Homonoclus Wrath from the 2004 anime* And yes, I can totally see Envy and Amity together as a couple, as her kind can live extremely long and Envy is escenciall imortal. How long do you think before someone finds the two of them tucked in a closet making out?  
Truth: How did you get your position as the guardian of the gate and why do you let the Homonclus use the Void, other than the cookies?

Is it okay if I make to make an appearance? I'm bringing forth your Christmas gifts (or the gifts you get for the main holiday celebrated in the winter months). I know its unlikely the author will have one up by then, but I want to spread the Christmas cheer.  
*I pop up in the Void, a dark haired brunnette in a red dress and Santa hat, a pair of glasses in front of her blue eyes as I tug a large bag full of brightly wrapped present behind me*I'm helping out with the rounds this year!  
For Amity: A bag of cat food and a pair of fake gossamer wings, still feel bad about you losing your wings to get to Ametris.  
Envy: Two presents, one is not mine. I'd open the bigger one first. *once he does, a Banette pops out with a mallet scraeming, "WHACK 'EM ENVY!" before smashing the mallet against his skull* Sorry about Marion, she isn't such a fan once she read Hugh's death scene. The real present it a box full of duct tape and a voodoo doll. But you have to promise only to use it in emergancy fangirl stalking situations.  
Lust: A black scarf that, when flicked, becomes sharp as steel and an awesome weapon.  
Gluttony: I couldn't find a cookie jar big enough big enough as the inside, but here's one giant full of chocolate chip cookies, roughly the size of your stomach.  
Pride: YOU ARE ADORABLE!*does surprise glomp attack and hugs him happily* Sorry, can't help it. Here's a computor that's only accessible in the Void and a voodoo doll of your least favorate hero*results may vary*  
Wrath: A sword, just to spite you, a pirate sword. Also, the book known as "The Art of War."  
Truth: A giant jar of cookies, your favorate!

And I'd like to thank the author for putting BOTH of my reivews in the same chapter. Merry Christmas! Or whatever the hell is celebrated in Ametris curring the winter months. Peace out and happy New Year!"

_~WhiteOwl74_

"Oh my purgle! Such a long review!" Amity exclaimed.

"The world was supposed to end?! But-but the Promised Day is still _months _away! ...And what the heck is a Mayan?"

Amity once again shrugged her shoulders. "I agree that Envy was pretty cute in the Pinocchio costume."

"EdxEnvy?! Holy… how many people do you guys pair me with!? And I pray that the author doesn't turn this into a EnvyxAmity… actually, I hope she doesn't turn this into an EnvyxAnyothercharacterinthes eries. And would people quit laughing at the Winnie the Pooh thing!?"

Amity giggled innocently. "But it was funny!"

"And I don't care if Ed and Al are the 'main characters'; I am naturally more awesome than them in every way possible." He sniffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Something about Amity I like…? Does that fact that she can die count? 'Cause I can't think of anything else."

"So mean…" Amity whimpered. "Ah yes, thank you for the hug, WhiteOwl74! Um, I'm sorry for trading the gift you gave to Envy for some magic beans, but it'll be much harder to do my job if I have duct-tape over my mouth… Yes, Truth loved the idea of Envy being in the Winnie the Pooh costume, and said he was going to use the duct-tape on his 'whiny visitors', apparently he doesn't like them complaining about losing their limbs…" Amity re-read the review. "Oh, you've got questions for some of the other characters too! Well, we'd better summon them then!"Striking a pose, Amity pumped a fist into the air. "Super awesome magic author powers GO!"

Five loud pops ensued, revealing Wrath, Pride, Lust, Gluttony and Truth.

"Oh no…" Pride hissed, the first snapped out of the dazed stupor the group seemed to be in "We're here again…"

"Yo!" Amity called cheerily, waving. "A reviewer has some questions for you guys!"

Lust sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Very well, let's get this over with…"

Truth also sighed. "And what exactly will I be getting in exchange?"

"I'll bake a cheesecake for you." Amity offered.

"Done."

"What about me?" Gluttony asked, saliva dripping off of his tongue and onto the 'floor' of the void.

The fairy gulped. "Sure, I'll make one for you too…"

The tubby homunculus clapped his hands together. "Yay!"

"Alright, let's get the show on the road! First question is for… Pride!" Amity grinned, handing the boy the review and pointing towards the question for him.

The oldest homunculus hummed thoughtfully. "I usually have to move every 2-3 years before people begin to become suspicious, I also hide for several years underground before surfacing again in another person's household. As for the question about my mother, she is an… _adequate_ human… who makes really good cookies."

Amity grinned. "Okay then, next question is for… Gluttony! Gluttony, are you the inspiration behind the story 'Little Red Riding Hood'?"

Lust eyes widened. "Gluttony, did you eat that girl with the picnic basket who was visiting her grandmother when I told you not too?" She scolded.

Gluttony sucked on his finger. "But she looked so tasty…" He whimpered.

"Fairytales featuring the Homunculi?" Amity asked, a grin making its way onto her face. "Envy could be Rapunzel!"

"Wha-Why me!?" He yelped.

"You have the longest hair."

"Enough." Wrath ordered, stopping the two in mid-fight. "Amity, please continue your questioning, I do have some paperwork to file in the office today."

Hearts appeared all around the blue haired fairy. "Yes Cap'n Wrathbeard, sir!" She saluted. "Um, Gluttony doesn't want to eat me because, as Father explained, I'm the physical manifestation of a 'soul' so I'm not made of the sort of thing Gluttony was designed to eat."

"And she smells icky!" Gluttony beamed proudly, causing Envy burst into laughter and Amity to fall over anime-style.

"But I took a bath this chapter!" She whined while Envy continued to cackle madly in the background.

Lust rolled her eyes at their childish antics. "Thank you for saying I am in character, WhiteOwl74. I was made the only female homunculus because Father himself was created in an era where, at the time, men and women were not considered equals; I believe I am the only female because Father kept these old-fashioned tendencies." Her lips curled into a smirk. "Of course Envy has a crush on Amity, I thought it was obvious."

"THERE. IS. NO. CRUSH!" Envy hissed. "Stop trying to encourage the readers."

Her smirk grew. "I'm Lust; I can't help but try to encourage such _passion _between the two sexes."

"You're just mad I had the right definition of zymosis and you didn't!"

_WHACK!_

Amity shrieked, jumping back as a dictionary hit Envy in the face, knocking him down onto the ground. The blunette looked bewilderedly up at the female sin. "Where did you get a dictionary?!"

"I don't know, but it felt good to throw it."

"Uh… okay. I think this next question is for Wrath, the reviewer said Pride, but I'm pretty sure they meant Wrath." She giggled nervously. "Please correct me if I'm wrong, WhiteOwl74. Okay Wrath,

'_is it really that annoying to be called Wrathbeard?'"_ Amity looked up at him with sparkling puppy-dog eyes. "Being call Wrathbeard… _annoys _you?" She asked, tears welling in the corners of her eyes.

He sighed. "Not excessively…"

Amity squealed, hugging him. "I knew it Cap'n!"

He sighed when she released him, a picture of the 2004 anime version of Wrath appearing in all of their hands.

"…He's still not as cute as me." Pride said with finality.

"WHO IS IN A CLOSET MAKING OUT WITH WHO!?" Envy roared, recovered from his dictionary attack.

Amity frowned. "Um… what exactly are we making in the closet?" She asked, perplexed.

Envy turned beet red whilst the others snickered. "Amity." He growled. "There are times when you just really need to keep your mouth shut."

"And, to answer my question." Truth began. "I don't know who appointed me the Guardian of the Gate; I've always been and always will be. And secondly, I let the Homunculi and the Conscience use the Void simply for the entertainment value." It grinned unsettlingly. "I mean, look at them!" He gestured to the group with both hands. "I've made _millions_ on YouTube!"

Before any arguments could be made, a small portal opened, revealing a young girl with dark, brunette hair; she wore a pair of glasses that framed her blue eyes and wore a red Santa-Claus outfit, though the thing the group noticed the most was the giant red back filled with presents.

"I'm help with the rounds this year!" The girl announced cheerfully; walking over to Amity, handing her a nice-sized package. "For Amity: A bag of cat food and a pair of fake gossamer wings, still feel bad about you losing your wings to get to Amestris."

Amity squealed in delight, putting the wings on immediately. Beaming happily, the blunette glomped the young girl. "Thank you!" Amity released her so the girl could finish giving presents (and so Amity could eat the cat-food).

She approached Envy next. "Two presents, one is not mine. I'd open the bigger one first." Envy raised an eyebrow when the woman took a step back, but opened the big package anyway.

A Banette wielding a giant hammer burst out of the back, screaming. "WHACK 'EM ENVY!" Envy yelped, but before he could so much as blink, the Banette brought the hammer crashing down onto the shape-shifters skull.

The girl chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. "Sorry about Marion, she isn't such a fan once she read Hugh's death scene. The real present it a box full of duct tape and a voodoo doll. But you have to promise only to use it in emergency fan-girl stalking situations."

Lust tensed when the girl approached her, probably fearing that she was going to get a hammer carrying creature of her own as well. "A black scarf that, when flicked, becomes sharp as steel and an awesome weapon." The girl said, handing the gift to the female sin.

Lust took it, running her fingers over the material; a small, satisfied smile gracing her face. "Don't expect me to say thank you."

The young girl approached Gluttony next." I couldn't find a cookie jar big enough big enough as the inside, but here's one giant full of chocolate chip cookies, roughly the size of your stomach." She said, struggling a moment to get the gigantic cookie out of her bag. Once she did, she handed to Gluttony, who grinned and took a large bite out of it.

She walked over to Pride next. "YOU ARE ADORABLE!" She cried, glomping him happily. She released the seething boy. "Sorry, can't help it. Here's a computer that's only accessible in the Void and a voodoo doll of your least favorite hero*results may vary*."

She came to Wrath next. "A sword, just to spite you, a pirate sword. Also, the book known as "The Art of War."

Wrath raised an eyebrow at the pirate sword. "I see. Thank you."

Then, finally, the girl stopped in front of Truth. She beamed happily at him. "A giant jar of cookies, your favorite!"

Truth grinned. "Thank you, mortal."

The waved one last time before disappearing. Lust, Gluttony, Wrath, Pride and Truth disappeared as well, since they no longer had any questions.

Amity beamed at the screen. "Thank you WhiteOwl74 for the gifts and the super longer review! Happy super belated Holidays to you all!"

"_Envy! You ungrateful fool! You must be ashamed of youself!  
Why? No reason...  
Anyways keep up the good work and here's some chocolate!  
Bye Bye!"_

_~Bangkok-chan_

"Thank you for the chocolate." Amity thanked.

"Why does everyone scold me?" He asked, glaring. "Why not her?!"

"_Pfft. Ha ha! *laughing on the floor* that was random *grins* LOL Envy trows like a girl, who would have thought that and what a cute crush you have there pride *begins to laugh again*"_

_~moonofwitch_

"Yes, the whole Halloween was full of random… _randomness_." Envy hissed.

"Pride's crush was pretty cute." Amity giggled. "Glad you enjoyed the chapter!"

"_Ok, I haven't finished the chapter yet, but I must say this._

This story is amazing and very funny. I enjoyed it and you did a great job at keeping the characters in, well, character! Except the part were the homunculi let Madame Rosa live.

I must say this personally to Envy and Amity. I'll start with Amity...

Amity, you are a great character and cracked me up a lot. Though, STOP TORTURING THE HOMONCULI. ;A; They don't need that.

Envy, you are the sexiest character I know in FMA. I must admit, I have a huge anime crush on you, though you probably heard it from other fangirls. I was really upset when you committed suicide in Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. I felt it was unfair.  
Anyway for this story, I must admit, it was funny how you are forced to go trick-or-treating and dress up as Pinocchio. *lowers voice and leans toward Envy, whispering in his ear* I did felt so bad though, when Amity tortured you, and the other homonculi. Pst, if you want, I could murder-I mean, talk to, her. *smiles innocently and looks at the two of them.* Best OC story ever! Keep up the good work!"

_~AliceTheDerp_

"I don't mean to torture the homunculi… most of time." Amity mumbled.

"Don't encourage the author!" Envy cried. "And we totally should have killed Madame Rosa."

"You want to kill everyone." The young Conscience sighed. "Even yourself! See '_I was really upset when you committed suicide in Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood'_."

Envy narrowed his eyes. "How does everyone seem to know these things?" He grinned unsettlingly. "I may very well take you up on your offer to mur-er-_talk _to Amity, AliceTheDerp."

Amity gulped, "Yeah… uh… let's read the next review."

"_Ahahaha! Kitty attacks! Poor Amity, glad you're okay.  
Envy...That's all you can say? "Huh?" You make me laugh, non-gender-specific palm tree! That's your knickname from me!  
I certainly hope you keep this going, Fyuro.  
If you can guess the reference to my name, a cookie for the both of you!"_

_~LacieAliceAlyss_

"That cat was scary." Amity whimpered.

"Why does every think I am a freakin' palm-tree?" Envy hissed. "Do I really look that much like one?"

"The reference to your name? Um…"

Envy shrugged his shoulders. "Alice from Alice in Wonderland?"

"I was going to say Waldo from 'Where's Waldo'."

"…Why?"

"Women's intuition." Amity grinned, tapping her temple with her finger.

"…Right."

"_I'm back  
Oh gawd...Don't worry Amity, Father scares everyone. EVERYONE. I kind of doubt he'l be able to destroy your world, as he has other plans at the moment.  
In these bonus chapter, do you guys do dares or requests? If so, I dare Envy and Amity to ride a roller coaster after doing a pie eating contest! Get ready for the hurl-a-thon!  
Envy...YOU'RE TOO SEXY! *Appears in the Void as a girl with long black hair, purple eyes and a wide smile, a pale blue dress with a white apron on, a blue bow in her hair. Runs up to Envy and does a bro-fist* I know you can't stand glomp attacks, so I bro-fist instead! *turns around and glomps Pride hard* You though...I can't resist glomping you! And*hugs Amity so she doesn't feel left out* Hugs all around!* leaves the Void via conviently placed mirror with a giggle, waving her hand in a ta-ta sort of way as she melts through it with ripples* Back home to my land of wonder! See you guys again soon!  
*get the reference to my home AND name, get cookies!*"_

_~LacieAliceAlyss_

"Good, I'm glad I'm not the only one, and I'm so relieved he won't come destroy my world." Amity breathed, holding a hand over her heart. "Sorry, but we don't do dares or requests… Things would get really chaotic if we did."

"Yeah, because everything is so _calm _right now." Envy scoffed.

A girl with long black hair and purple eyes; she wore a pale blue dress, white apron and had a blue bow in her hair. She smiled widely, running over to Envy and bro-fisted him. "I know you can't stand glomp attacks, so I bro-fisted instead!" She announced cheerily.

A loud pop ensued, revealing a dazed Pride, before the young-looking boy could recover, the girl with black hair glomped him. "You though… I can't resist glomping you!" She told him.

Pride hissed something about shredding the author into a thousand pieces before disappearing once more.

The girl ran over and hugged Amity, who giggled and hugged the girl back. The girl pulled away, giggling as well. A mirror appeared behind, she waved in a ta-ta like manor before disappearing into the mirror, it's surface rippling like water as she passed through.

"…Ooookay then." Envy sighed. "At least I didn't get glomped. Pride's gonna be really ticked when I get home though."

"You're Waldo and your home is Camelot!" Amity crowed, pointing a finger at where the mirror once was.

"Alice from the world of Wonderland." The homunculus said blandly, casting his replacement Conscience a bored look. "You really suck at these guessing games."

Amity frowned. "Let's just get on to the next review already…"

"_Please don't eat me Gluttony! I might be a girl, but I'm a teenager with hormones!  
Envy...In a Pinocchio costume, then Winnie the Pooh...I'm so sorry, dude. But it's still pretty funny. Have you ever had a crush on anyone in your 173, give or take, years of existence?  
Amity! You're hilarious! Try and make Envy a better person!  
Peace out!"_

_~Ragnarociscomg_

"Don't worry; I don't think Gluttony can cross dimensions, so you should be safe!" Amity comforted.

Envy growled. "It wasn't that funny! And NO I have never _ever _had a crush someone _EVER_."

The blunette laughed. "I'm glad you find me funny! I'll do my best to make Envy a better person! Peace to you too!"

"_This is really funny! I hope you continue it soon!"_

_~Guest_

"*coughcough*Sadist *coughcough*."

"Envy, are you okay? Do you have a cold?" Amity asked, immediately hovering over her fake-coughing companion in concern.

"… Just read the next review."

"_Please allow me a moment to indulge in the deliberate misplacement of my sanity (or lack thereof)._

*gasps dramatically*

I AM ENLIGHTENED!  
Captain Wrath is truly a pirate of the fearsome Moustache! As such, though his compunction is only a facade, I feel a sense of kinship as pirates stave off global warning. There is a direct correlation you see! Alas, I cannot continue on this tangent as I am lacking my full pirate regalia. However: May his, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, noodles forever extend! RAmen* (*Please see the full version by stormy1x2).

Anywho, your portrayal of Envy is admittedly amusing. Envy, however, has a very creepy form composed of an amalgamation of human bodies and a dinosaur. (I wonder exactly what type of drugs Arakawa-sensei was on when she though THAT up. Talk about disturbed: exactly what the fuck)? But I won't hold it against him so long as you continue to do a fantastic job Amity! I have faith in your abilities!

Lastly, Edward Elric. He only appeared briefly, however, I would like to pointy out that Shorty McShrimp (I kid, I kid. XD) hits a growth spurt. The bastard. *whines* I WANNA BE SIX FEET! DX

So, ultimately, thanks for the lolz. It would also be incredibly cool if you guys responded to my review in one of the coming chapters. It would be awesome and I would look forward to it for totally. XD

Back to my Beef Pad Thai (my catfood), contemplations of 42 and base 13, and questions lacking answers and vice versa.  
Sopranos High"

_~Sopranos High_

"Yes! All hail the insidious Captain Wrathbeard! ARGH!" Amity cried, striking a pose, sparkles floating around her.

Envy stared in disbelief. "… I have no words… Wait… How is Fyuro's portrayal of me amusing?!"

The fairy shrugged her scrawny shoulders. "No clue."

"And I would rather not discuss _that _form." Envy's face scrunched up with distaste. "I'll have to hunt Arakawa down and ask what exactly she was on when she dreamed up something so... ICK, to be the true face behind someone as cute as me."

Amity's eyebrows rose until they nearly disappeared behind her hairline. "You are being as humble as ever, I see." She giggled, rubbing the back of her neck in embarrassment. "Wow, you have faith in my abilities? That's fantastic! I'm kinda worried, personally. I haven't made much headway and I've made some pretty epic failures in the past when it comes to 'character reformation'."

"Pipsqueak gets a growth spurt!?" Envy yelled, eyes wide. "You lie!"

"Well, I hope we answered your review to your satisfaction..." Amity trailed, a little bit of saliva dripping out of the corner of her mouth, her eyes half-lidded and sparkling with desire. "So, uh, you wouldn't mind send some of that cat-food my way… would you?"

"No begging the reviewers for food."

"But-but… _cat-food_!" She cried. He narrowed his eyes at her. "Oh fine… kill joy…"

"_OHH, You must update this :D  
I can't help but see the slight underlying sinisterness in the way Envy reacted to Maes,  
By you know, saying he's going to kill him? Aha O.o"_

_~Kiyanna the dark mistress_

Envy chuckled darkly. "Oh, I love irony…" He sighed contently.

Amity narrowed her eyes and punched him in the shoulder. "No killing Maes." She scolded.

"_I can't believe you just did that. I almost died. I did die. It was freaking awesome!"_

_~verylexiful_

"We didn't mean to kill you!" Amity wailed.

Envy raised his hand. "I wanted the reviewer to die." He announced cheerily.

Amity punched him again. "Envy, be nice!" Turning towards the screen, she grinned. "Well people, that was our last review! Wow, we got 28 reviews last chapter! That is so amazing! Thank you all so much!" Amity bowed deeply at the waist. "Thank you everyone who reviewed, followed and favorited! Fyuro appreciates all of the support! If anyone wants to offer critiques, tips, or anything of the sort than please feel free to!"

She stood straight again, beaming happily and clasping her hands behind her. "Now, as a special 100th review treat, Fyuro has compiled some bloopers from the Prologue chapter of Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking, along with several omakes!"

"Please sit back and enjoy the show!"

Envy groaned. "We're all going to die…"

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**Thanks for the 100 Reviews****,**** guys! You're awesome!**

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**Whose Line is it Anyway?**

"I'll say!" Sidius roared angrily, slamming his fist so hard on his armrest that it made Amity flinch. "This girl has done nothing but cause trouble for us since the moment she was born! Every human companion she has been given either dies or goes into a deeper, darker life of crime! They become even greater, filthier messes than they were to begin with! It is a Consciences duty to help their partners discover their own conscience, to help them find better ways of living and guide them to the right path! It has been-"

"IT HAS BEEN A SKILL PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!"

The entire council froze, watching in pure, utter disbelief as the large man, who was obviously not a fairy, ripped off his shirt off and struck a pose, flexing his impressive muscles.

The council was dismissed early that day, for the strange man shamed every Conscience within a 10 mile radius with his far superior sparkling abilities.

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**The Unbreakable Rules**

"There will be conditions, however." Wendell said, making Amity's heart sink. "Miss Spicket, you must except our terms if you wish for a second chance." The old fairy cleared his throat loudly.

"Rule Number One: You must always eat Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches with wheat-bread only. None of that pasty white bread."

…

…

…

Amity blinked, but nodded. _'That doesn't seem to be like such a hard rule…'_

"Rule Number Two: Under no circumstances are you allowed to sing 'Mary had a Little Lamb' between the hours of 11 PM and 9AM. If you are caught doing so, you must pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time for precisely 1 hour 47 minutes and 39 seconds while repeating 'she sells sea shells by the sea shore' as fast as you can."

"You can't be serious!" Sidius cried.

"I haven't finished yet." Wendell scolded lightly. "Rule Number Three: You are not to brush your teeth after eating an orange or consuming orange juice. This is for your own benefit, believe me."

"Rule Number Four: You are not allowed to get involved in relationship issues between a cow and a chicken; things will always end badly, I assure you."

"Rule Number Five: You are not allowed to sneeze when you are in a 10 foot vicinity of a flap-jack..."

-3 hours later-

"Rule Number One hundred Eighty-Seven: You are not allowed to cross the borders of Xing if you have a rubber chicken, number 2 pencil, or a llama in your possession. Rubber ducks are okay, though."

Amity, along with the rest of the crowd, had long past fallen asleep. Sidius, the only awake one, was banging his head repeatedly against the back of this chair.

"Rule Number One hundred and Eighty-Eight-"

"Dear god, man, would you just shut up!?"

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**Confession of the Council**

"I have a confession." The third council member, Jinkle, sighed, twiddling his thumbs nervously.

"Now? We're in the middle of court, Jinkle!" Sidius barked.

Amity giggled nervously from her platform. "I don't mind, really..."

"Silence girl!"

Wendell let out a soft chuckle. "Let us hear what our friend has to say. Go on, Jinkle."

"My… My real name isn't Jinkle at all!" Confessed the poor, short man. "It's… It's… John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!"

Sidius's eyes widened. "That… That's impossible! That is… That is _my _real name as well!"

"I confess, that is my true name as well." Wendell sighed forlornly.

Jinkle's eyes also widened. "Then his name is my name too!?"

Sidius rubbed his goatee in thought. "So that explains why whenever I go out-"

"-The people always shout-"

"-There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!"

A sweat-drop formed on Amity's temple. _'What kind of council is this?!'_

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**What If…**

…**Edward was a Vampire?**

"Amity! Amity!" Alphonse cried, rushing toward the full-sized, blue haired Conscience.

"Al, what's wrong?" Amity asked, seeing the worry written all over the youngest Elric brother's face (though this should be scientifically impossible).

"Ed… Ed has turned into a _vampire_!" The suit of armor cried.

Amity gasped. "Your brother has turned into a vampire!?"

"Yes!"

"Your short brother has turned into a nearly invincible, bloodsucking monster!?" The fairy blinked twice. "Wait… wouldn't that make him a flea instead?"

"I AM NOT SHOOOOOOOOORT!"

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**What If Amity was a Conscience to…**

"Sloth! You should feel guilty for helping Father execute his plans to sacrifice Amestris to Truth!" Amity scolded, sitting on the shoulder of the giant muscled behemoth as he continued to dig.

"Don't you understand how many people will die because of this? Sloth, if you don't turn to the side of good, your soul will be damned for all of eternity! You need to stop digging and stand up to Father! Or, at the very least, warn the people as to what he is planning!" Amity suddenly noticed that he had stopped moving a while back into her speech. She frowned, tapping him on the head. "Sloth…? SLOTH?"

A loud snore rumbled through his chest, making Amity's entire body shake. "He… he fell asleep…"

…

…

…

The blunette hung her head. "I am so going to _dieeeeee_."

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**I Have A Feeling…**

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Amitybeamed brightly at the council members. "I absolutely accept all terms! Um, just one question, sir... Who's Conscience will I become?"

The old fairy smiled softly, knowing very well what kind of trouble was about to be stirred.

"His name is Envy."

-Meanwhile, In Amestris-

Envy halted in the middle of the conversation he had been holding, feeling shiver run down his spine and his blood go cold. "Hey Lust…" He spoke into the receiver of the payphone.

"Yes Envy?"

"Have you ever got the feeling that your entire life was about to become a living hell?"

He could almost hear his older sister roll his eyes on the other end. "You're imagining things, Envy. We need you down here in Liore; things are starting to get a little out of hand…"

"Right right, I'll see you there." He sighed, hanging up the phone. He stepped out of the phone-booth and looked up into the night sky; a moment passed before the homunculus shrugged his shoulders, snickering quietly at his own paranoia.

"Yeah, just my imagination…"

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**Review Please!**


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